Bring Your Father to School Day: Revived!
by Frozenflower
Summary: This deals with the comic atrocities that our poor demi-saiyan Gohan is forced to endure during bring your father to school day. It now also deals with the aftermath of that day. Trust me--Gohan isn't suffering alone this time! Ch 25 9/21/02
1. Bad News

[Disclaimer—I own a little pink haired troll doll, which I like to pretend is Vegeta, but otherwise, I don't own anything connected with DB/Z/GT!  
  
A/N—I partially got the idea for this from a story by DemonDancing, called The Field Trip; or Murphy's Law. It is HILARIOUS! While this story is about the trouble our favorite Saiyans get into at Gohan's high school, in her story, they take a field trip to Capsule Corporation, and I'm sure you can imagine the mayhem that causes! It's a great story, check it out! Oh, and needless to say, Goku is alive in this fic, and it takes place during the Saiyaman Saga.]  
  
______________________  
  
Gohan walked into his classroom and sat down. Lunch was over, and it was finally the last period of the day.  
  
  
  
He couldn't help but be relieved—normally, he didn't mind school, and wasn't in any particular hurry for it to get over. Today, however, an ominous feeling of foreboding had plagued him the entire day. Not just any ominous feeling either—the kind of feeling you get when Frieza is standing right behind you. The kind of feeling you get when you're trapped in a space pod by your evil alien uncle. That kind of feeling.  
  
  
  
Gohan would be happy just to escape today with his life—and finally, blessedly, sixth period was here. Just one more period to go, and he would emerge unscathed.  
  
  
  
Gohan smiled shyly as he walked up the steps and slid into his seat. As usual, Videl was glaring at him suspiciously, Sharpener was obliviously flexing his biceps at some girls across the room, and Erasa tried to pinch Gohan's butt before he sat down. Just a typical day at Orange Star High School.  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed, evading Erasa's second attempt to pinch his bottom, "Uh, hi Erasa."  
  
  
  
Erasa giggled and batted her eyelashes, "Hi Gohan," she breathed.  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed. He knew she was just playing around, but she was making him REALLY nervous!  
  
  
  
"Gohan!"  
  
  
  
Gohan jumped, startled, to see Videl staring at him. "Uh, yeah Videl?"  
  
  
  
Videl glared gleefully, her sharp eyes zooming in on the band-aid decorating Gohan's cheek. "We need to talk. In the hallway. NOW."  
  
  
  
Gohan gulped and followed Videl into the hallway, ignoring the jealous stares Sharpener sent his way.  
  
  
  
Arriving in the deserted hallway, Gohan leaned up against the wall, and attempted to look casual, "So, eh, Videl, what's up?" Gohan squeaked.  
  
  
  
Reaching out, Videl ripped the band-aid from Gohan's cheek. "Ha! I knew it! I've got you now Son Gohan—Saiyaman was cut in the exact same place just yesterday! You ARE Saiyaman!"  
  
  
  
Gohan stood frozen with shock. Unconsciously he moaned, "Oh, no! The identity of Saiyaman is public knowledge!"  
  
  
  
Videl smirked. "I'd hardly call it public knowledge. If you want to keep it that way, here's what you need to do…"  
  
___________________  
  
  
  
Gohan slunk back into the classroom after Videl. He was being blackmailed. It was humiliating! Not only that, but how was he supposed to keep a lid on things if he was giving her flying lessons at his house? Between his father and Goten, one of them was SURE to blow something up before the lessons were through.  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed. At least the worst was over—his premonition had come true. He'd met the enemy and been defeated—this day couldn't get any worse. At least that's what he thought.  
  
  
  
At the front of the room, Mrs. Doyle smiled up at the class and gestured for them to calm down. "Now class," she said, picking up a stack of papers, "what I'm passing around is a flyer, explaining a very special event that's coming up next week."  
  
  
  
Gohan took a paper off the top of the pile, and passed the rest on down. He stared in horror at what was written on it. *No….* he almost sobbed, mentally.  
  
  
  
Mrs. Doyle smiled sweetly, totally unaware of the torment poor Gohan was enduring. "As you see class, next week is international Bring Your Parent to School Week. It was instituted a few years ago, to help parents keep in touch with what's going on with their child's education. Now this isn't mandatory," Gohan perked up, "for most classes," she continued, "but I've decided to make it an assignment for this one." Gohan sagged, as the perky Mrs. Doyle continued on obliviously.  
  
  
  
Gohan tuned the rest out. He couldn't listen. This was absolutely the WORST thing that could have happened to him!! Maybe, if he was lucky, he could convince his mom to go…..  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
"No!"  
  
  
  
"But mom!"  
  
  
  
Chi-Chi shot her son a glare. "I want your father to take you Gohan—you two never do anything together these days except fight—you two need a little quality bonding time that doesn't involve bashing each other silly!"  
  
  
  
Gohan sagged in defeat. Across the table, Goku smiled at his son, "Hey, don't worry about it Gohan! This is going to be lots of fun!"  
  
  
  
Gohan grimaced. That's what he was afraid of…  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Bulma grinned widely into the telephone receiver, "You don't say Chi-Chi? I think you're absolutely right! This'll be a PERFECT chance for Mirai Trunks and Vegeta to get some quality bonding time together!"  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks paled and looked up from the table. What was his mother planning? Ever since his mother had died in his timeline, and he had returned to the past to stay, Bulma had been pushing him and Vegeta together, forcing them to participate in odd father-son bonding rituals. The last time had been mini-golf. Trunks shuddered. They should be finished rebuilding soon, and everyone was expected to make a full recovery.  
  
  
  
Vegeta walked into the kitchen and he immediately knew something was wrong. The woman was just setting down the telephone with a broad smile on her face, and his future brat looked like he had just learned that android 18 had a crush on him. Vegeta was nervous.  
  
  
  
Bulma smiled sweetly at her husband when she saw a wary look jump to his face, "Oh, Vegeta," she cooed.  
  
  
  
Vegeta slowly backed away from the woman, almost praying that Frieza would come and rescue him from whatever horrible fate she had planned. But no. Vegeta was the Prince of all Saiyans. He stood tall and proud, and glared death in the eye, "What do you want, woman?"  
  
  
  
Bulma's wicked grin grew a little wider, "Oh nothing much Vegeta—you and Trunks are just going to spend some quality bonding time together. Gohan's high school is holding a "Bring Your Father to School Day," and you two are going."  
  
  
  
Trunks' mouth dropped open, "But, but mom! I don't even go to school there!"  
  
  
  
Bulma turned her hawk-like gaze on her son from the future. He froze like a tiny rodent, sensing its impending doom. Bulma smiled, "That could be arranged Trunks—you're still only 18 after all—I'm sure I could pull a few strings and have you enrolled before this Friday—OR you can just go for this one day and make your poor mother happy."  
  
  
  
Trunks slumped in his chair. He knew when he was beaten. Vegeta, however, never was one to give up easily. Opening his mouth, Vegeta flung himself headlong into the battle, "Woman!!"  
  
  
  
Bulma's gaze descended on Vegeta with crushing speed. "Don't you 'woman' me Vegeta!" Vegeta prepared himself—he knew threats against the gravity room and his bed privileges were sure to follow—he had worked on becoming indifferent to those threats, and now smirked smugly, as his training was sure to pay off. Bulma continued, "If you don't do this for me Vegeta—no food—for a week!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta opened his mouth with his prepared reply and choked. No—no FOOD?! The woman was evil—pure evil—and Vegeta knew that he had lost. Glaring at Bulma, Vegeta muttered, "FINE!" and stomped out of the room to train.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks put his head in his hands. What had he ever done to deserve this?  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Gohan flew nervously towards the school in his Saiyaman costume. Goku flew beside him in his customary orange gi, after refusing to wear anything else. Gohan feared that this refusal was the beginning of a terrible trend that would be his day.  
  
  
  
Banking in mid-air, Gohan and Goku landed on the top of Orange Star High School. Quickly changing out of his Saiyaman costume, Gohan lead the way towards the door leading from the roof down into the school proper. Half way there, he felt two familiar ki's approaching, and the pit of his stomach filled with lead. Turning, he found his worst nighmare had been confirmed, as there stood Vegeta, with Mirai Trunks in tow.  
  
  
  
Goku's eyes widened and he waved cheerily, "Hiya Vegeta! What are you doing here?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked. "Well, if it isn't Kakkarott, and Kakkarott's first brat."  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks rolled his eyes. Did his father call EVERYONE brat? Smiling, he walked up to Gohan, "Hi Gohan. Sorry about this, but I gather your mother called mine, and convinced her this 'Bring a Parent to School Day' thing would be a good opportunity for me and Vegeta to bond," he rolled his eyes towards his father and whispered, "Don't worry, I won't let him blow anything up."  
  
  
  
Gohan smiled apologetically at Mirai Trunks for his mother's interference. "Let's just hope that NEITHER of them blow anything up." Looking across the roof, Gohan almost yelped, seeing his father and Vegeta lowering down into sparring stance. "Hey, dad, Vegeta? We don't have time for that right now—class is going to start in five minutes. Besides," he reminded them, "we don't want anybody to recognize us from the Cell Games, right?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta snorted and muttered something to the effect of not caring, and blowing up stupid humans, and damn baka women, while Goku just stood cheerfully up and gestured for his son to lead the way.  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Gohan entered his classroom a bit warily, his father, Trunks and Vegeta trailing behind him. There were tons of extra chairs set among the student's regular seats, so Gohan just lead the way up to his usual place, where Sharpner and Erasa were already sitting, with what looked to be older, larger replicas of themselves.  
  
  
  
As Gohan drew near their seats, he nervously eyed Erasa who was drooling in his direction.  
  
  
  
Erasa, and the woman sitting beside her who was obviously her mother, giggled as Gohan and his band approached. Sitting nervously down, Gohan was relieved when she didn't try anything funny.  
  
  
  
Hearing a yelp, Gohan looked up to see his father staring at Erasa and rubbing his bottom. Erasa giggled, "Is this your dad Gohan? He's a cutie!"  
  
  
  
Goku cautiously backed up, only to be pinched again, this time by Erasa's mother. The older woman wrinkled her nose and grinned up at the startled Goku, who now had a hand protectively clutching each butt cheek and said, "My daughter's right—you ARE a cutie!" before collapsing into a hopeless fit of giggles, clutching at her daughter's shoulders.  
  
  
  
Vegeta snorted, "Ha. Looks like Kakkarott's popular with the ladies!" Then scowled, barely dodging a pinch Erasa sent in his direction.  
  
  
  
Erasa blinked up at Vegeta, "You're cute too! Your hair—it's like, so wild!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta's face darkened, and Trunks quickly grabbed at his father's fist to extinguish the ki ball that was forming there. "Heh, now dad!" He said anxiously, hoping Vegeta would see reason.  
  
  
  
For once, he did, and just sat grumbling, as far away from Erasa as possible.  
  
  
  
From down the isle, Sharpener scowled. Nobody'd tried to pinch HIM. Then he smiled arrogantly to himself and flexed his arms, thinking to himself, *Ha, no wonder—nobody'd dare mess with a guy with arms like these.*  
  
  
  
From down the aisle, Vegeta caught the gesture and gritted his teeth. Damn that woman! This was going to be a long day…  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Videl walked into the classroom and was startled to see her usual row filled with unfamiliar faces. Next to Gohan, sat a man in an orange gi, who was blushing and looking nervously around. *That must be his father,* she thought in surprise, *I wonder why he never said he was into martial arts.* Videl almost slapped herself upside the head and mentally chided, *Duh! It's because he's been trying to hide the fact that he's Saiyaman, moron!*  
  
  
  
Walking slowly up to her seat, Videl examined the other two new faces, who somehow seemed slightly familiar. One was a boy around Gohan's age, with purple hair and blue eyes. His eyes were fixed on the desk in front of him, and he did NOT look happy to be there. Next to him, sat a man with spiky black hair, and an annoyed scowl creasing his forehead. Videl shuddered involuntarily. Somehow she instinctively KNEW that she DIDN'T want to be the one that scowl was directed at.  
  
  
  
Walking cautiously down the row, Videl seated herself next to Gohan, causing Erasa to glare at her, as she had to scoot down a few seats.  
  
  
  
Gohan smiled shyly, "Hey Videl."  
  
  
  
Videl returned the smile. "Hey Gohan, is this your dad?" She asked, pointing to Goku.  
  
  
  
Gohan glanced nervously at his father, who seemed to be behaving himself, "Yeah. This is my dad, Son Goku."  
  
  
  
Videl's eyes widened. "THE Son Goku?! Legendary figure in the World Martial Arts Tournament?" She asked, staring at Goku in awe.  
  
  
  
Goku grinned back at her and rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, I guess that's me."  
  
  
  
The room broke out in excited whispers. No one could have MISSED what had just been said. Little nerdy Gohan was the son of Son Goku—martial arts legend?!  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed and let his head thump to the desk. This couldn't get much worse.  
  
  
  
From down the table, Vegeta smirked evilly and said, "Why don't you introduce us all to your mate, Gohan."  
  
  
  
It just got worse. Gohan blushed and glared down the table at Vegeta—he knew the man had only used his name to make it absolutely clear to everyone just WHO he was talking to.  
  
  
  
Gohan gritted his teeth and bit out, "Her name's Videl, and you know darn well she's not my mate Vegeta!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta snorted. "Yeah right, brat. Tell me when you finally mate with her. I'll have the woman throw a party."  
  
  
  
Sharpener looked on with the rest of the class as Gohan glared at the smirking man with the pointy black hair, and Videl blushed into her desk. Who the heck was this guy—was he a friend of Gohan's? And why the heck was he talking about Gohan, and Videl—and MATING?! Did he know something they didn't?  
  
  
  
Gohan turned an interesting shade of red, and tried to sink into his desk. He was going to kill Vegeta. He knew that it was impossible to do anything—there was no such thing as damage control in this situation. The rumor mill was turning, and nothing short of blowing up the entire student body was going to stop it. Gohan paused momentarily to consider this option, before reluctantly dismissing it. Blowing up people wasn't the way to solve your problems. Well, unless you were named Vegeta.  
  
  
  
Gohan shot another glare at the smirking Saiyan Prince who was trying very hard not to look pleased with himself. Groaning, Gohan looked up as the teacher walked in. The day hadn't even started yet, and already he felt like he was in quicksand, and sinking fast.  
  
***Ha, this fic is really fun and easy to write. All of my fics are scheduled to be updated tomorrow, hopefully so R&R and check back soon!*** 


	2. Introductions

Disclaimer--::gently stroking Vegeta/Troll doll's pink hair:: Oh---umm? Oh, yeah! I don't own DB/Z/GT. ::goes back to what she was doing::  
  
______________________  
  
  
  
Gohan took a deep breath and settled down in his seat trying to ignore all of the pointed glances in his direction. He focused on the teacher as she stepped to the front of the room.  
  
  
  
"Hello, my name's Ms. Johnson," she said with a smile, "and I'd like to welcome all of the wonderful parents out there, who took time out of their busy schedules to look in on their children's education."  
  
  
  
At this, Trunks snorted, causing Vegeta to send him a death glare. Trunks quickly returned his eyes to the desk in front of him.  
  
  
  
Ms. Johnson continued, "Now I'd like all of the parents to come to the front of the room, come on, don't be shy, introduce yourselves, and tell us what you do!"  
  
  
  
Gohan got a slightly panicked expression on his face, as his dad and Vegeta got up, being careful to avoid Erasa and her mother, and headed down the steps to line up with the other parents.  
  
  
  
Leaning over to Trunks, Gohan whispered, "Vegeta's not going to—say anything to give us away, right?"  
  
  
  
Trunks hesitated for a moment, "I don't think so."  
  
  
  
Gohan wasn't reassured. Any mention of Saiyan Princes, evil aliens named Frieza, or most especially, one particular monster named Cell, that Gohan himself had defeated, would send Gohan's hopes of a normal life spiraling down the drain faster than you could say "alien."  
  
  
  
Vegeta smiled evilly up at the pale faces of his son from the future, and Kakkarott's brat. He was thinking of the good old days. Of the evil he could do with a few little words. Vegeta felt his smirk growing, and growing, and then a girl in the front row of the class sneezed, bringing him back to reality. The girl had blue hair, exactly the color of—Bulma's. Vegeta scowled. Damn baka woman….  
  
  
  
As they sat nervously through the adults' introductions, Gohan was once again gripped with a feeling of doom, not unlike the one he had experienced at the start of this mess. Gripping the desk so hard he caused several long cracks to appear in the wood, Gohan listened with bated breath as Vegeta began his speech.  
  
  
  
Vegeta paused, enjoying the look of helplessness on Gohan's face. He might not be able to carry through with his plan, but he could certainly take full advantage of the situation to make the boy think he would.  
  
  
  
Finally, Vegeta smirked up at the two pairs of eyes, one blue and one black watching him anxiously from above, and spoke. "I am Vegeta. My brat is called Trunks. We are here with Kakkarott's brat," he said, jerking his head towards Goku, "who you call Gohan. I am a martial artist, and I have trained my whole life. I would have no problem with crushing any of you if you get in my way. Leave me alone, and I will spare your lives." At this, he shot a significant glance at Erasa's mother, who merely giggled. Rolling his eyes, Vegeta stomped back up the stairs and threw himself down in his seat. He was proud of himself. The woman could find no fault with that.  
  
  
  
Gohan felt like crying. Had Vegeta really just threatened mass homicide?  
  
  
  
Trunks felt the eyes on him as Vegeta flopped down into the seat next to him. Attempting to decide which was preferable, sinking under his desk, or just pretending nothing happened, Trunks slouched as a compromise, and focused his gaze on the desk. He was now VERY glad he didn't have to go here everyday.  
  
  
  
Next up was Erasa's mother. "Hi, my name is Marka, and I'm Erasa's mom!" After bubbling on for nearly ten minutes about her job as a stationary salesperson, the teacher gently thanked her, and sent her back to her seat.  
  
  
  
Finally, it was time for Goku's turn.  
  
  
  
Gohan's eyes shot open—OH NO! He'd been so worried about Vegeta, he hadn't even thought about his father!  
  
  
  
Finding himself in the spotlight, Goku grinned cheerily at the class, who grinned back. Son Goku was a very personable person. Clearing his throat, Goku began, "Well, my name's Goku, and my wife's name is Chi-Chi. I'm here with my son," he smiled at the now pale boy, "Gohan, and I have another son named Goten. I've been training as a martial artist since I was five years old, and I guess the thing I love most in the world besides my family is a good challenge." There was an audible sigh from the girls at this point, and an even more audible snort from Vegeta.  
  
  
  
Gohan was hopeful, as his father didn't say anymore. Short and sweet—perhaps his father had gotten him through this unscathed! Then a hand shot up in the audience.  
  
  
  
Goku cocked his head and smiled, pointing to the boy who had raised his hand, "Yes?"  
  
  
  
"Um," the youth stuttered, "Are you really the famous Son Goku? How many tournaments have you fought in? How many times have you won? Who's the toughest opponent you've ever fought?" the boy said in one breath.  
  
  
  
Gohan looked ready to cry again.  
  
  
  
Goku smiled and laughed. "Well, to answer your questions, I don't really know if I'm FAMOUS. I've fought in four World Tournaments, and they were all tough matches. The first time I made it to the finals, I was twelve years old, and fought against the martial arts master, Jackie Chun. I finally managed to win the last time I entered, which I believe was the tournament before the last one."  
  
  
  
"That was the tournament right before Mr. Satan won, right Mr. Son?" A voice called out.  
  
  
  
Goku was a bit surprised, but managed to conceal it well. He'd forgotten that Mr. Satan had won the last tournament. Almost sadly, he reflected on how the competition had gone down hill.  
  
  
  
The boy who had spoken the first time called out again, "Umm, Mr. Son? Were you going to tell us who the toughest opponent you ever faced was?"  
  
  
  
Goku brightened up, and laughed, "Oh, that's easy! That would be--" he cut himself off before he said it. Cell. Jeez, this was harder than he'd thought.  
  
  
  
Goku thought for a minute, "Well, I can't really tell you who my toughest opponent was, but my biggest rival is definitely Vegeta," he said nodding up to the Saiyan Prince, "ever since we fought when he arrived on Earth to destroy it eleven years ago, we've been each other's biggest competition." Goku smiled cluelessly up at the now enraged Vegeta, "and I consider him one of my best friends."  
  
  
  
Goku looked around at the blank faces of the students and their parents, "Anymore questions?"  
  
  
  
Gohan considered the pro's and con's of suicide.  
  
  
  
Pro's—He wouldn't have to tell his classmates why his dad had just said that Vegeta was an alien who had come to destroy the planet.  
  
  
  
Con's—He'd be dead.  
  
  
  
Oh well.  
  
  
  
Videl looked suspiciously up at Goku as he returned to his seat next to Gohan, then down to the fuming Vegeta who was being physically restrained by Mirai Trunks. Who the heck WERE these guys? What was their game?  
  
  
  
Videl wasn't sure, but she knew one thing. She was going to find out.  
  
_______________________  
  
  
  
After the introductions had finished, Ms. Johnson, admittedly a bit flustered, proceeded with the schedule. After explaining just what function a homeroom played in the student's day, she passed out nametags for everyone to wear, as the halls would doubtless be crowded with new faces today.  
  
  
  
Vegeta received his nametag. It said:  
  
HELLO, MY NAME IS  
  
  
  
And there was a large white space underneath, which Vegeta correctly assumed was for your name.  
  
  
  
Vegeta snorted and grabbed Goku's tag from him as the younger man struggled to hold the pen correctly. In neat, precise letters, Vegeta labeled Goku's sticker and then thrust it back at him.  
  
  
  
Goku happily stuck the sticker to the front of his gi, and watched as Vegeta labeled and stuck his own on.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks finished labeling his own nametag and stuck it on his Capsule Corp. jacket. The nametag was annoying—especially should anyone connect the tall purple haired young man with the now eight-year-old purple haired boy he shared a name with.  
  
  
  
Glancing at his father, Trunks felt his eyes widen a bit. Vegeta's nametag read:  
  
Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans.  
  
  
  
Trunks shook his head, and glanced over to see how Goku and Gohan were getting along.  
  
  
  
Gohan was edging nervously away from a girl with black hair and piercing blue eyes—she seemed to be in complete control of the situation and was grilling him fiercely on some topic. Trunks almost chuckled. Perhaps his father had been right—perhaps this girl WOULD be Gohan's mate.  
  
  
  
Trunks grinned and turned away from the confrontation to see Goku nearly falling asleep on his desk. Trunks' eyes drifted down to his nametag, where, clearly spelled out in Vegeta's neat handwriting, was:  
  
Kakkarott, 3rd class baka  
  
  
  
Trunks scowled and glared at his smirking father. Resisting the urge to commit patricide, he calmly went down to the front of the room to get Goku another nametag.  
  
  
  
______________________  
  
  
  
Videl glared icily at Gohan. No matter what she threatened, he wasn't talking. What had Goku meant by that comment? 'He came to the earth to destroy it?'  
  
  
  
Videl glanced down the table at Vegeta, who was scowling at his son as Trunks filled out another nametag for Goku. What was this guy's secret?  
  
  
  
Videl was jerked from her thoughts as the bell rang for the next class. She had all day. She'd figure it out eventually.  
  
______________________  
  
  
  
Gohan quickly packed up his books, happy that one period, at least, was over. Only five more to go. Plus lunch. And time in the hallways. Gohan began to be uncertain as to whether or not he would survive the day.  
  
  
  
Glancing at Trunks, Gohan saw him giving Goku a new nametag to replace one that read, Kakkarott, 3rd class baka. It had 'Vegeta' written all over it. Gohan was relieved to note that the new tag read simply: Son Goku.  
  
  
  
Turning to face his companions, Gohan said, "Come on, we've got to hurry—I've got Biology next, and it's all the way across the school!"  
  
  
  
Walking rapidly out the door and into a crush of people, Gohan realized they were in for trouble as soon as the first person jostled Vegeta.  
  
  
  
Trying to keep the Saiyan Prince shielded from the casual blows of passing students (for the sake of the students, not the prince) Gohan finally made it to his Biology class with only a slightly higher body count than when he had left homeroom.  
  
  
  
Vegeta had accidentally knocked over half a dozen people, not being very good at giving way, and had made a couple of freshmen girls cry when he had growled at them for discussing how cute his behind looked in spandex.  
  
  
  
Vegeta was beginning to regret wearing his normal training suit. The spandex that allowed him ease and movement while training also seemed to provide for endless fascination for members of the female sex. Vegeta just didn't get it—what was so great about his butt?  
  
  
  
Passing another giggling horde of teenage girls, Vegeta decided to ignore remarks pertaining to certain portions of his anatomy, while Mirai Trunks sniggered behind his hand—that is, until a certain portion of HIS anatomy was pinched firmly by the passing Erasa.  
  
  
  
Finally making it to their seats, Gohan, Goku, Vegeta and Trunks sat down once again next to Videl, Sharpener and Erasa.  
  
  
  
Sighing, and relaxing in his seat, Gohan looked at Videl, who was, as usual, glaring at him, and was struck by a thought. A truly awful, horrible, terrible thought. Leaning close to Videl, Gohan whispered, "Videl, is your dad going to be here today?"  
  
  
  
Videl blushed when Gohan leaned so close to her—what was he doing? "I don't know," she whispered back, "he told me he had to give some kind of special presentation today."  
  
  
  
Gohan nodded, relieved, and saw the teacher staring pointedly at him and Videl, trying to get their attention. Gohan blushed and mumbled an apology, while Vegeta snorted loudly, "Quit flirting with your mate and pay attention, boy!"  
  
  
  
Gohan glared at Vegeta. Oh yes. He was going to die before the day was over.  
  
  
  
Vegeta, a little taken aback at getting his trademark 'death glare' thrown back at him by Kakkarott's brat, humphed and turned to face the board.  
  
  
  
The teacher, the sometimes-kooky Mr. Shelton smiled owlishly up at them and said, "Ah, yes, mating—quite right. Just the topic I wanted to discuss. You see, in light of the fact that you all have your parents here with you today, I've decided to rearrange curriculum a bit—today we will be discussing sex, and the human body. Any questions?"  
  
  
  
Gohan stared pleadingly at the now-confused looking Goku. *Please don't let him say it, please don't let him say it, please don't let him say it….*  
  
  
  
Goku raised his hand. "Excuse me?"  
  
  
  
Mr. Shelton readjusted just glasses and glanced up, "Yes?"  
  
  
  
Goku smiled, "What's sex?"  
  
  
  
Gohan's head felt like it had just had a small mountain dropped on it.  
  
  
  
He said it.  
  
  
  
***Ahh the joys of GOKU!!! Please R&R! It always makes me soooo happy =)*** 


	3. The Demonstration

Disclaimer--::washing Vegeta/Troll doll's lovely pink hair:: Hello everyone! Guess what? I DON"T OWN DB/Z/GT!!!!!  
  
  
  
A/N--::Cowers away from hordes of rabid Goku defenders:: Eek, yikes! I'm not REALLY going to make Goku that stupid! Just give me a chance guys! It's just a little misunderstanding on his part! ::checks to make sure her head is still there:: *whew!*  
  
As for Videl, she will discover the truth *very* soon, I promise—she's not a whimpering little simp! On with the story!  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
As Gohan fervently wished he knew Instant Transmission, Mr. Shelton smiled up at Goku. "Quite right Mr…..er?"  
  
  
  
"Son."  
  
  
  
"Yes, Mr. Son then. That's exactly the question. What IS sex? Is it a physical function? An emotional expression? Is it a…."  
  
  
  
Gohan promised himself he'd go and visit Dende right after school to thank him—he didn't know HOW he'd gotten out of that one.  
  
  
  
Vegeta rolled his eyes and ignored the lecture, standing and leaning over Gohan to talk to Goku. "You baka Kakkarott—didn't you learn anything from that moron Roshi? How is it possible that you have two brats and you don't know what sex is?" he asked exasperated.  
  
  
  
Goku scratched his head and whispered back, "But I thought that was mating, Vegeta."  
  
  
  
Vegeta grimaced. "You BAKA! It's the SAME THING! What has the Saiyan race come to?!"  
  
  
  
Next to Goku, the eavesdropping Erasa broke in, "What's a Saiyan?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta growled, "Nothing you need to know about brat! Now mind your own business before I blast you!"  
  
  
  
Erasa blushed and sighed a bit dreamily. That guy was SOOO cute when he was angry!  
  
  
  
Down at the front of the room, Mr. Shelton noticed Vegeta standing and brightened. "Oh, good, a perfect volunteer!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta grimaced when he noticed the teacher motioning him down to the front of the room. This was just great. It was all Kakkarott's fault. Promising himself he'd beat Kakkarott to a bloody pulp after this was all over, Vegeta calmly descended to the front of the classroom.  
  
  
  
Mr. Shelton blinked up at the class. "And now I need an adult female to volunteer for this demonstration."  
  
  
  
Vegeta felt his jaw drop open. Demonstration? He'd never thought humans were quite this risque. Then again, he WAS the Prince of all Saiyans. There was NO WAY he was going to back down from something a human would do.  
  
  
  
Looking up, he saw Erasa's mother was the only one waving her hand. There was also NO WAY he was going to 'demonstrate' with her.  
  
  
  
Vegeta glared up into the class and called, "Kakkarott!"  
  
  
  
Three heads jerked up, and one of them cocked to the side, "Yeah Vegeta?"  
  
  
  
"Bring my mate here."  
  
  
  
Goku looked a little confused, but shrugged, "Alright Vegeta," he said, putting his fingers to his forehead. Goku froze then smiled sheepishly and jogged down the steps and out the door. Three seconds later, he was back, holding a confused and annoyed looking Bulma by the arm. "Here ya go Vegeta."  
  
  
  
Gohan was confused, and very VERY afraid. What did Vegeta want Bulma for?  
  
  
  
Videl was confused, and very VERY annoyed. What did that man want that woman for?  
  
  
  
Trunks was afraid—very VERY afraid. He knew EXACTLY what Vegeta wanted Bulma for.  
  
  
  
Quickly reaching over, Trunks grabbed a book from the large pile next to Gohan and hid. He did NOT want to see this.  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Bulma stalked across the classroom to confront Vegeta, as the room was filled with surprised murmurs. Who was this woman?  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked, and grabbed Bulma around the waist pulling her close.  
  
  
  
Bulma scowled. "What do you WANT Vegeta? I left Trunks and Goten all alone at the house you know—who knows what kind of trouble they'll get into. If house is blown up by the time I get back, I'm holding you personally responsible!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta's smirk never faltered as he gestured to the confused group of teenagers and their parents and said, "We are going to demonstrate mating for these baka humans and their baka offspring."  
  
  
  
Bulma's eyes almost bulged out of her head, "Mating?! Vegeta, what the hell are you talking about?!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta grinned evilly and said, "I believe the term is, 'Sex-Ed,'" before pulling Bulma into a long, passionate kiss.  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Back at Capsule Corporation, Chibi Trunks and Goten were confused.  
  
  
  
"Hey, Trunks? Where's your mom? I'm really hungry," Goten sighed.  
  
  
  
Trunks had no idea. Where WAS his mom. They couldn't find her anywhere! "I don't know Goten, let me search for her ki."  
  
  
  
Trunks was surprised when he couldn't pinpoint her in the house. He extended his range… "Hey, I found her!"  
  
  
  
"Oh, goody Trunks, where is she, huh?"  
  
  
  
Trunks scratched his head, "That's weird. She's with my dad, and your dad, and Gohan, and my big brother!"  
  
  
  
Goten cocked his head, "Big brother?"  
  
  
  
Trunks shot him an exasperated glare, "Yeah, that's what I call Mirai Trunks—I mean, it's kinda weird to call him Trunks, ya know?"  
  
  
  
Goten blinked. "Oooooh." Suddenly he brightened, "Hey, Trunks, I bet I know where your mom is! I bet she's at Gohan's school, 'cause dad had to go there with him today!"  
  
  
  
Trunks also brightened, "Yeah, that's right! Mom made Mirai me and dad go there today too!" Trunks shot Goten a devilish glance, "You up for it?"  
  
  
  
Goten's expression matched Trunks', a particularly evil little expression that no Son had ever worn before, "Yeah, Trunks. This should be fun!"  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Gohan watched in horror as Vegeta pulled Bulma in to kiss him. What were they DOING?! Looking at Trunks who had stolen Gohan's Biology book and was now hiding behind it with his eyes squeezed tightly shut, Gohan came to the sick realization that he knew EXACTLY what they were doing.  
  
  
  
Jumping to his feet, Gohan raced down the stairs, "No, Vegeta, Bulma, stop!"  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Videl shook herself out of a horrified daze as Gohan raced shouting down the stairs. Wait—BULMA? THE Bulma?! Bulma BRIEFS?!  
  
  
  
The classroom filled with excited whispers. Bulma Briefs was in THEIR classroom? And Gohan knew her? Well enough to try to break up her makeout session with Spandex man down there?  
  
  
  
Videl's mind raced. She'd known the black haired guy and the purple haired guy looked familiar—was this where she knew them? Videl grimaced--her father tried to walk in the same social circles as the Briefs' although he wasn't nearly as wealthy, or, Videl admitted to herself, nearly as refined.  
  
  
  
Thinking hard, Videl glared down at the purple haired young man who was now hiding under a book—this was Bulma Briefs' son? The hair was familiar, but somehow she could have sworn he was younger—A LOT younger.  
  
  
  
With yet another mystery on her hands, Videl turned to the front of the classroom and the confrontation that was occuring there  
  
.  
  
______________  
  
  
  
Vegeta glared at Gohan who was now standing between him and Bulma. Bulma had a slightly dazed expression on her face. "What do you want, brat, we're trying to have a demonstration here!"  
  
  
  
Gohan glared at Vegeta, and forgetting to lower his voice, due to the horror of it all, yelled, "He wanted someone to demonstrate the parts of the human body, Vegeta—NOT SEX!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta growled, "How the hell do you know boy—besides, you NEED someone to demonstrate mating for you—you obviously haven't been able to satisfy your woman by the way she's looking at you," Vegeta smirked pointing up at Videl, who was busy glaring at Gohan, of course.  
  
  
  
Gohan was pissed. It took a lot to get Gohan pissed, but Vegeta seemed to be stepping on all the correct buttons with his jabs toward him and Videl today, "Listen you walking piece of spandex," Gohan yelled, "Lay off of me and Videl!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta growled. "Don't mess with me, brat."  
  
  
  
Surprisingly, Gohan growled back, "Don't push me, Vegeta."  
  
  
  
Vegeta froze for a moment, then the angry expression dropped from his face, and he laughed. He actually laughed. "Way to go, brat! You're more Saiyan than I gave you credit for." He looked up in the sea of faces to see Goku staring down at them with a surprised expression, and Mirai Trunks just now peeking up from his hiding place under Gohan's Biology book, and snorted. "Maybe someday you'll wash off on my brat and your baka father."  
  
  
  
Gohan was surprised out of his anger—Vegeta was pleased with him? Turning to face his classmates, he saw that nearly all of them had their mouths hanging open, shocked. They had just seen sweet, innocent, shy little Son Gohan totally blow a gasket and scream at the angry-looking man with the muscles, who, if that was really Bulma Briefs' husband, was reputed to be one of the most dangerous men in the world. Of course—they didn't know the half of it.  
  
  
  
Gohan hunched his shoulders and walked back up to his seat. Vegeta followed him and Bulma touched her lips, and mumbling something about having to get home and cold showers, stumbled out the door.  
  
  
  
The silence was deafening. Feeling all eyes glued to him, Gohan prayed to Dende for anything, ANYTHING to get him out of here.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, Videl's watched beeped. "Go ahead, Captain."  
  
  
  
Gohan sent up a silent prayer of thanks as Videl went running out the door. It was good to have friends in high places. Grabbing his father's arm, Gohan yelled, "BATHROOM," and ran down the stairs, dragging Goku behind him.  
  
  
  
Standing, Vegeta grabbed Mirai Trunks by the arm and started off after Gohan. There was no way he was going to miss this.  
  
  
  
Grinning down at Trunks who was busily plotting revenge on Dende for not answering HIS prayer, Vegeta mused that maybe this father-son bonding thing wasn't so bad after all. This day was turning out to be a lot more fun than he had anticipated—and he hadn't even had a chance to blow anything up yet!  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Gohan groaned as he saw Vegeta dragging Mirai Trunks down the hall after them and turned to wait.  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked at Gohan, "What's next brat?"  
  
  
  
Gohan could swear Vegeta was enjoying this. Reminding himself, yet again, that murder was NOT an option, Gohan lead his little troupe to the top of the building where Videl's helicopter was just fading into the distance.  
  
  
  
"Ok," Gohan sighed, "There's a robbery at the bank, where they're holding the mayor hostage, along with a bus load of senior citizens. I'm going to go help Videl as Saiyaman, so you guys just wait here for me, ok?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta snorted and looked at him like he was stupid, while Mirai Trunks just sighed, and even Goku shook his head. Gohan had known that that would just be too easy.  
  
  
  
He tried to play the "Cell" card. "You guys should really stay here—someone might recognize you from the Cell Games," he said hopefully.  
  
  
  
Vegeta just shot him a look that said, 'pitiful'. "The brat and I will transform. The cameras only caught the two of us in our normal forms. The only problem is your baka father."  
  
  
  
Gohan looked at his father and sighed. He couldn't leave Goku here alone—it wasn't that his father was stupid—he just had absolutely NO sense of discretion. Sighing, Gohan pulled an extra watch out of his backpack. "Here dad—this has another Saiyaman costume in it—Bulma gave it to me in case I ever lost a piece of the costume in my normal one."  
  
  
  
Goku grinned and put the watch on. Pushing the button, he transformed into—Saiyaman!  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed and pressed his own button, turning into a mirror image of his father. "Ok, now dad, you have to act like Saiyaman, alright?"  
  
  
  
Goku thought back to the few times he had seen Gohan as Saiyaman. Goku did several remarkably silly maneuvers and posed, booming, "I-AM-THE GREAT- SAIYAMAN!!!"  
  
  
  
Gohan's mouth dropped open, "Dad—that was—PERFECT! Where'd you learn to do that?!" Gohan was envious—those poses were GREAT!  
  
  
  
Goku grinned at his son, "The Ginyu force."  
  
  
  
Vegeta snickered.  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed. Oh, well. Maybe he'd have to drop the poses from his routine in the future.  
  
  
  
Leaping into the air, The Great Saiyaman, or Gohan, was followed by Goku, also as the Great Saiyaman, and Trunks and Vegeta who immediately blasted into Super Saiyan.  
  
  
  
Gohan was resigned to the fact that he'd have to tell Videl everything. She already knew he was the Great Saiyaman—HE was the one she'd come roughing up for answers when the Great Saiyaman showed up, accompanied by—the Great Saiyaman. Not to mention, TWO Gold Fighters. Gohan sighed. This was really turning out to be quite some day.  
  
  
  
***Will the evil bank robbers who are holding the mayor, and a busload of senior citizens hostage ever be apprehended? It's all in the hands of Videl, Saiyaman, Saiyaman, and the Gold Fighters! R&R please!*** 


	4. The Gods Must Be Crazy

Disclaimer--::having a tea party with Vegeta/Troll doll:: I don't own DB/Z/GT—now would you pass the milk?  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Gohan flew nervously towards the scene of the crime. There was quite a bit to be nervous about after all—not only did he have a Saiyaman-dupicate in the form of his father, but he was stuck with the arrogant Prince of the Saiyans posing as the "Gold Fighter."  
  
  
  
Looking at Vegeta, Gohan stifled a slightly hysterical giggle and sent a quick prayer of thanks that he had caught it. "Umm, Vegeta?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta looked at him quizzically, "What do you want?"  
  
  
  
Gohan tilted his head a little and with a look of contrived innocence said, "Don't you think you should take off your name tag?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta looked down with a snarl to see he was, indeed, still wearing his nametag. He carefully weighed the pro's and con's of leaving it stuck there, to his chest. *Humiliating the brat….Bulma…..humiliating the brat….Bulma…humiliating the brat….Bulma, no food…* Vegeta ripped the name tag from his chest and shoved it into one of his many spandex pockets with a growl. Damn that woman.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks followed suit, removing his tag, while Gohan drifted back to his original train of thought…  
  
  
  
*This is no ordinary robbery—these guys must be pretty tough to take hostages, rob the bank and kidnap the mayor all at the same time! I sure hope Videl will be ok until we get there…*  
  
  
  
*Ooh, Videl, you like her, don't you Gohan!*  
  
  
  
*What?! NO! Come on…*  
  
  
  
*You know you like her Gohan, why else would you be blushing?*  
  
  
  
*I DON'T LIKE HER! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!*  
  
  
  
The voice in his head gave an evil laugh, *Yeah, sure.*  
  
  
  
*Who the heck is this anyway?!*  
  
  
  
*This is your Inner Krillin speaking.*  
  
  
  
*Figures.*  
  
____________________  
  
  
  
Gohan slowed down as he approached the scene. Videl's helicopter was already sitting out in front of the bank, surrounded by police cars, but the girl herself was nowhere in sight.  
  
  
  
"Damn," Gohan swore, "she's already gone in! Why couldn't she wait for me?!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta cocked an eyebrow at Gohan's behavior. He'd just been heckling the boy about the girl being his mate. Perhaps he had hit the mark without even knowing it.  
  
  
  
A small devious grin twisted Vegeta's lips. This new fact provided oh-so- many opportunities for evil. Prince Vegeta was back in action, and boy did it feel good…  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks saw the evil smile sneak over Vegeta's face, and for once, felt something of a connection with him as he watched Gohan worry over Videl. With a small snicker, Trunks felt his evil-side float to the surface and shared a wicked glance with his father…this could be fun.  
  
  
  
Ahh, the joys of father son bonding.  
  
  
  
Gohan turned to his troops and began handing out instructions, oblivious to the looks of evil glee being exchanged by Vegeta and Trunks. "Ok," Gohan said, turning to Goku, "you try to stay out of sight, alright dad? If anything goes wrong you can help out, but I'd rather not have two Saiyaman's on the scene if I can help it."  
  
  
  
Goku sighed with disappointment, but nodded, floating down to hide in a tree conveniently situated in front of the bank.  
  
  
  
Gohan looked at Mirai Trunks, and blinked a bit warily at the grin the other boy was giving him. He quickly shrugged it off and said, "Ok, Trunks. How about you and Vegeta rescue that busload of senior citizens, and I'll go into the bank and check up on Videl?"  
  
  
  
Trunks nodded, and then said with a smirk, "Ok Gohan. We'll go rescue the people on the bus, and you go check up on your mate."  
  
  
  
Gohan was left with his mouth hanging open, speaking to empty air, as Trunks and Vegeta flew quickly away, "She's not my mate…."  
  
  
  
*Oh, yes she is!* whispered his inner Krillin gleefully.  
  
  
  
*Oh, just shut up.* Gohan was getting annoyed. The real Krillin was in trouble next time Gohan saw him. He was convinced that this was all his fault.  
  
  
  
Sailing down to the roof of the bank, Gohan slammed a fist through the ceiling, and swung down inside. Not the quietest way to make an entrance, perhaps, but then again, Gohan wasn't really in the mood to be quiet. *Just give me an excuse,* Gohan thought, somewhat bloodthirstily to the bank robbers. He REALLY wanted to blow something up right now.  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Krillin sighed and let his wife drag him into yet another clothing store. This trip to the city was turning out a lot less exciting than he had expected.  
  
  
  
All the trouble of convincing Master Roshi to watch little Marron, and what did he get? A day of shopping, and a pocket full of capsules.  
  
  
  
Moping a bit, Krillin followed 18 out of the store and on to the side walk. Freezing, Krillin was surprised to see the bank down the street surrounded by police cars. "Uh, honey?"  
  
  
  
18 looked at her husband expressionlessly, "What?"  
  
  
  
Krillin laughed a bit nervously. "Where did you say you wanted to go next?"  
  
  
  
18 raised an eyebrow. Krillin wasn't usually this dense. "I need to go to the bank. I just told you I'm out of money."  
  
  
  
Krillin barely suppressed a gleeful shout. "Um, well dear, it looks like that might be something of a problem," he said, pointing to besieged bank.  
  
  
  
18 looked up to where he was pointing, and a small smile crept across her face. "Not for long."  
  
  
  
Krillin smiled and followed his wife down the street. *Yes, finally—some action!*  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked as a man with long, black hair shoved a gun into his face as he stepped inside the hijacked bus.  
  
  
  
"Well if it ain't the 'Gold Fighter,'" the man sneered, "you don't look so tough to me, Shorty. Bye, bye!" The man fired at point blank range, hitting the smirking Vegeta right between the eyes.  
  
  
  
Trunks looked at his father curiously, ignoring their gaping audience, "Why didn't you just dodge it?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta quirked an eyebrow at his son. "First, had I dodged it, it would have hit some pitiful human and killed them, which would have gotten me into trouble with the woman."  
  
  
  
Trunks knew his father was referring to his mother. He never called anyone else 'the woman.'  
  
  
  
Vegeta continued, "Second, I didn't need to—that weakling's weapon is so pitiful, I didn't even feel it—it MIGHT have bruised me in my normal form, but it's doubtful. And finally, it's a good tactic to use to create fear and confusion in your enemy. Letting them throw their best attack at you without result is a wonderful method of intimidation." Vegeta smiled at his son, who had begun to take notes. He had learned these rules from his own father—the Vegeta Rules of Evilness and Intimidation. Vegeta was beginning to feel close to his son.  
  
  
  
Ahh, the joys of father son bonding.  
  
  
  
Mr. Evil-Guy-With-A-Gun, waved his weapon in the air, "Um, HELLO?! We're having a violent, armed CONFRONTATION here!"  
  
  
  
The moment was spoiled. Both Vegeta and Trunks gave the man a glare, and held out a hand. "BIIIIIIIG BAAAAANG…." They said in unison.  
  
  
  
Krillin, who just happened to be walking by the bus at EXACTLY that moment, following his wife, intent on foiling the bank robbery, heard the combined roar and blanched.  
  
  
  
Rushing into the bus with super sonic speed, he managed to gather all of the passengers and escape with his life before the father-son team roared, "AAAAAATTTAAAACCCKKK!"  
  
  
  
The bus, along with Mr. Evil-Guy-With-A-Gun, were completely incinerated, leaving Krillin shielding a group of giddy seniors who were busily documenting the event for their scrapbooks. Mirai Trunks and Vegeta stood grinning at each other with identical smiles of devious delight, amidst a large pile of ash.  
  
  
  
Ah, the joys of father son bonding.  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Inside the bank, Gohan's head jerked up as he heard a loud explosion. He had just finished helping Videl tie up the last of the bank robbers, and untie the mayor, who was thanking them profusely.  
  
  
  
Hearing the explosion, Gohan's head filled with all sorts of horrible thoughts. *Vegeta blew up the police, Vegeta blew up Dad, Vegeta blew up Trunks, Vegeta blew up….anything.*  
  
  
  
Grasping his head in his hands, Gohan ran for the door of the bank, followed closely by Videl, only to smack head on into Android 18.  
  
  
  
18 looked at Gohan sitting on the floor, rubbing his head. "Hello Gohan. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in school?" She ignored Gohan's frantic shushing motions, "Well? What are you doing here?"  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed. It was no use. "I'm here with Videl," he explained, "a group of thieves kidnapped the mayor, took a group of senior citizens hostage, and was robbing the bank. What are you doing here?"  
  
  
  
At this point, Videl stepped in. She was tired of being ignored. "Mind telling me who this is, SAIYAMAN?"  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed. "Umm, this is 18, 18 meet Videl. 18's a friend of the family…"  
  
  
  
18 quirked an eyebrow at Videl's name. "Videl, hm? So this is your girlfriend. Krillin was telling me about her last week."  
  
  
  
Gohan's face went six shades of scarlet simultaneously. "AGH! It's not LIKE THAT!"  
  
  
  
Even Videl blushed as she watched Gohan's frantic denials. Maybe he did like her….  
  
  
  
From outside, there came another explosion. Gohan paled, and raced out the door past the amused 18, to see what had happened.  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Mayhem. Utter mayhem. That was all it could be described as. The police were cowering behind their squad cars as Mirai Trunks and Vegeta, standing amidst of a pile of ashes with a vaguely bus-like shape, laughed uproariously at Krillin, who was dodging small ki beams they sent flying his way.  
  
  
  
Behind Krillin, stood a group of senior citizens, oohing and ahhing, snapping pictures at the speed of light as the little man ducked and deflected the blasts into the sky.  
  
  
  
Gohan froze in shock. Vegeta he might have expected, but TRUNKS?! Watching Krillin bat the small energy beams frantically out of the way, Gohan couldn't help but feel a twinge of satisfaction. Krillin did, after all, deserve it.  
  
  
  
Running up to the grinning Super Saiyan duo, Gohan interposed himself between them and Krillin after one last blast had been fired. "What the heck are you guys DOING?" he asked, a look of astonishment on his face.  
  
  
  
Trunks blinked, a dazed, confused look in his eyes, and opened his mouth to speak, when a loud crash resounded behind them.  
  
  
  
The last blast that Krillin had deflected, had slammed into the large tree in front of the bank. It soared through the trunk, snapping it in half, only to hit and demolish a police cruiser that was conveniently unoccupied.  
  
  
  
Gohan watched in horror as the tree toppled to the ground, and out rolled……….Saiyaman.  
  
  
  
Goku, aka, Saiyaman, struggled to his feet and attempted to scratch his head through the thick Saiyaman helmet. "Uh…" Goku was quiet for a moment, then swinging into the Ginyu force's most intricate and complex routine, he shouted, "I AM THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!"  
  
  
  
Gohan sank to his knees in despair. It just…wasn't….fair….  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Up on Kami's lookout, Piccolo emerged from the palace to see Dende rolling around on the ground consumed with laughter. The little God of Earth was so overcome he almost rolled off the side, only to be saved by Mr. Popo at the last moment.  
  
  
  
"Th-thanks, P-Popo," he giggled, "Oh, oh, it hurts!"  
  
  
  
Curiously, Piccolo walked up to the edge of the lookout and peered over side to see what had Dende so worked up. His eyes shot open, and he stared at Dende, who wasstill breathing hard, trying not to laugh.  
  
  
  
"Dende," Piccolo said, his voice filled with disapproval, "I'm not sure you qualify to be Earth's Kami anymore. You are much too evil."  
  
  
  
This comment only sent Dende into another round of laughter, gasping and choking for air. Piccolo frowned in annoyance. Stepping off the platform, he headed for Orange Star High School. He'd once made a promise to always be there for Gohan. It was time to keep his word.  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Back at the bank, Mirai Trunks fell to his knees beside Gohan, holding his head in his hands. "Gohan, I-I don't know what happened—it felt like—like someone was controlling me. No, not exactly controlling—it was like someone swept away all of my inhibitions, and released my Saiyan side, bringing it fully to the surface."  
  
  
  
Vegeta grinned. He liked the sound of that.  
  
  
  
Gohan looked at Mirai Trunks in astonishment. What he described—who could do something like that? All of the sudden an answer popped into Gohan's head and he scowled.  
  
  
  
"Dende," Gohan whispered. Oh yes. He was still going to be making a visit to Dende this afternoon after school was over, but it wouldn't be to thank him. Earth would soon be short one little green guardian if he had anything to say about it. *You hear me Dende,* Gohan yelled mentally, *You better start looking for your replacement!*  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Up on Kami's lookout, Mr. Popo watched in surprise, as Dende suddenly stopped laughing and turned a remarkably sickly shade of green, even for a Namek. Standing up, Dende bit his lip and whispered, "Oh, shit…"  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Trunks and Goten had arrived at Orange Star High School, and were confused to find that all of the ki signatures they had followed there had vanished.  
  
  
  
Goten scratched his head, "Uh, so, where do you think they went, Trunks?"  
  
  
  
Trunks shrugged, "I dunno Goten. But they were all in this classroom just a few minutes ago. This is where I felt the ki signatures coming from."  
  
  
  
Goten got a big, sad, puppy-dog look on his face, and whined, "I'm sooooo hungry Trunks. I don't think I can move. Let's just wait here, and maybe Gohan will come back and feed us!"  
  
  
  
Trunks, who was feeling similarly deprived, agreed, and the two stealthily opened the door to Gohan's biology class, sneaking inside, and into trouble.  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Walking down the hallway with his father, Vegeta, and the morose Trunks trailing behind him, Gohan was just glad he'd been able to escape the scene without Videl confronting him about the Gold Fighters and the extra Saiyaman. Not that he thought he'd escaped permanently, mind you. He knew this was just a temporary reprieve. Of course, every good deed deserves to be punished, and his punishment for stopping the bank robbers, was to have Krillin and 18 added to his little party.  
  
  
  
Gohan glared at Krillin, who was chatting with Goku as they walked down the hall. The little man either didn't notice, or chose to ignore it, and continued walking. Turning, Gohan came to the door of his Biology class. Reaching for the handle, he was startled to hear terrified screams emitting from the inside.  
  
  
  
Opening the door, Gohan rushed in, trailed by Goku, Mirai Trunks, Vegeta, 18 and Krillin. He was shocked at what he saw. There, lying on the floor whimpering, were Chibi Trunks and Goten with their hands over their eyes.  
  
  
  
Vegeta pushed his way to the front of the group and bellowed, "What the hell is going on?!"  
  
  
  
The few members of the class that were not already cowering under their chairs took shelter. Chibi Trunks looked up with wide, shining eyes, and yelled, "Daddy!" throwing himself into Vegeta's arms.  
  
  
  
Vegeta uncomfortably tried to push the sobbing Chibi Trunks off of him, and failing, let his son cling to him and turned on the teacher with a murderous stare. "What. Is. Going. On."  
  
  
  
Mr. Shelton stood quaking in front of a smoking projector, with his hair sticking wildly in several directions. His glasses were askew, and his hands were shaking. "Umm…"  
  
  
  
Goten spoke up, uncurling from a ball on the floor. "It was horrible, brother," he cried to Gohan, "the people on the screen, they were naked, and they were doing things that Trunks' mommy and daddy do sometimes!"  
  
  
  
Krillin's eyes widened and he butt in, staring accusingly at the teacher, "You were showing a group of teenagers a PORNO?!"  
  
  
  
Mr. Shelton's eyes widened, and he stuttered, "N-no, it was just a video on anatomy, I swear! They didn't do anything!"  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks finally detached himself, much to Vegeta's relief and stared at the teacher accusingly, "But they were going to!!"  
  
  
  
Gohan was ignoring the conversation, staring at the still smoking projector in the front of the room. "Umm, guys?" he asked, a bit nervously, "What happened to the projector?"  
  
  
  
From under her seat near the top of the classroom, Gohan heard Erasa call out, "Those little kids shot a beam of light at it and it exploded! Do you know them Gohan? How'd they do that?"  
  
  
  
Pale faced teens and parents began slowly climbing out from beneath their desks, looking at Gohan for answers. Gohan choked, "Well, uhh….." Mercifully, at just that moment, the bell rang.  
  
  
  
With a sigh of relief, Gohan grabbed Goten under one arm, and Chibi Trunks under the other and ran out of the classroom followed by Goku, Vegeta, Mirai Trunks, Krillin, and 18, with Piccolo soon to follow.  
  
As he dashed toward his next class, plotting Dende's demise, he imagined all of the horrible things that could possibly happen in gym class. He had moved beyond thinking that it couldn't get any worse. That was a thought for an optimist. It could always get worse, and he was sure it would.  
  
  
  
***Well, hope you liked it! I'm sure you can all imagine tons of terrible things that could happen in Gym, especially with THIS group! R&R please!*** 


	5. Order of the Day

[Disclaimer—I own DRAGONBALL/Z/GT! ::wakes up:: Darn. It was only in my dreams…  
  
A/N--Frozenflower-::glares around suspiciously:: "NOBODY CAN HAVE MY VEGETA!" ::clutching pink haired troll doll::  
  
Nice-man-in-white-coat-"There, there Frozenflower, no one wants to take your Vegeta from you…"  
  
Frozenflower-::glares suspiciously at reviewers:: "THEY DO!"  
  
Nice-man-in-white-coat-"No they don't…it's all in your mind."  
  
Frozenflower-::glares around suspiciously:: "IS NOT!"  
  
Nice-man-in-white-coat-::lunges at Frozenflower, carrying her off in straightjacket.::  
  
Frozenflower-"Noooooooo I have a STORY TO WRITE!!!!" ::returns three days later, still stroking Vegeta/Troll doll:: "Muahahahaha! I escaped! THEY COULDN'T HOLD ME (Actually, Vegeta Final Flashed their asses!) Now, on with the story."]  
  
[Hehe, that's supposed to be my explanation as to why I haven't posted in awhile—actually, my brother killed the computer, and we had to resurrect it! But I like my explanation better…]  
  
___________________  
  
  
  
Gohan walked wearily into the locker room, trailed by Goku, Mirai Trunks, Vegeta, Krillin, Chibi Trunks and Goten. Android 18 was absent, as Gohan had managed to convince her that it might not be the best idea for her to come into the guys' locker room.  
  
  
  
Mr. Schopenhaur, Gohan's gym teacher, looked at Gohan a bit strangely as he entered, followed by his menagerie of friends and family, but merely reached into the boxes in front of him, pulling out several orange t-shirts from one, and several blue shirts from another.  
  
  
  
Mr. Schopenhaur handed the blue t-shirts to Gohan who was amused to see that large orange block letters spelled 'SON' out across the front of them.  
  
  
  
Goku frowned at his own shirt, orange, with the word 'FATHER' spelled out in blue, and was about to protest that he, too, was a Son, when Gohan laughed, a bit too loudly, and slapped him on the shoulder, "Heh, nice of them to give us T-shirts, huh dad? They must have some kind of Father-Son competition scheduled."  
  
  
  
Goku smiled at Gohan and pulled on the shirt. With a sigh of relief, Gohan studied his little troupe with some amusement. Goku didn't look much different from normal, but Vegeta was mumbling vocally about wearing the colors of the cursed Kakkarott.  
  
  
  
Goten and Chibi-Trunks looked particularly amusing, dwarfed in the giant shirts that dragged near their knees.  
  
  
  
Gohan turned to see everyone ready, although Vegeta was still mumbling. Gohan sighed, and rolled his eyes. "Ok, guys! Let's go out into the gym—and please," he shot a look at Chibi Trunks and Goten, "no funny business."  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks and Goten trailed near the end of the pack as they exited the locker room. They were already over their 'Sex-Ed' surprise, and smiling evilly at each other. "Funny business?" Trunks inquired with a smirk.  
  
  
  
Goten nodded, "Oh, yeah."  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Walking into the gym, Gohan was surprised to see the bleachers pulled out, and most of the class already seated in them. Near the top, he spotted 18, who had somehow acquired an orange t-shirt that read 'MOTHER' across the front. Next to her sat…Gohan groaned, "Piccolo."  
  
  
  
Piccolo's sensitive ears caught the groan, and he smiled slightly as Gohan trudged up the bleachers to take his place next to them. "Hey, kid. Dende's been playing a few practical jokes, so I decided I'd come and try to help you straighten things out."  
  
  
  
Gohan grimaced. The gesture was appreciated, but Piccolo just couldn't understand that a seven-foot tall green man would NOT help him straighten things out. Of course he couldn't say that.  
  
  
  
Gohan attempted a smiled and sat down next to his friend. "Thanks, Piccolo. I appreciate the help."  
  
  
  
Vegeta appeared, and trudged up the bleachers with Chibi Trunks clutched under one arm, and Goten under the other. "Why if it isn't the Namek. What are you doing here?"  
  
  
  
Piccolo cocked a brow, "Hello Vegeta."  
  
  
  
Gohan looked on in fascination as Chibi Trunks and Goten struggled under Vegeta's iron grip, "Umm, Vegeta? I may regret asking this, but why are you holding onto Trunks and Goten like that?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked. "I caught them sneaking out of the girls locker room. They had two bags full of underwear, which they claim was going to be a birthday present for Master Roshi."  
  
  
  
Gohan's eye bugged out, "You two were stealing the girls' underwear?!"  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks blinked up innocently, "It was supposed to be a present Gohan! We thought you'd be proud of us for coming up with such a thoughtful gift!"  
  
  
  
Gohan breathed in slowly and deeply, reminding himself that he, too, was once eight years old. *Yeah, but I wasn't an unholy terror like these two!*  
  
  
  
Sending Vegeta a look, Gohan motioned for him to put the two kids down. Vegeta complied, with an amused expression, curious to see what Gohan intended to do.  
  
Gohan reached calmly out and grabbed Chibi Trunks and Goten by the hair, pulling them up on tip-toe "Listen to me, and listen good. I am NOT having a good day. You two will SIT here, and be GOOD, or I will go get that underwear, and I'll stick YOU in it. Then I will take PICTURES, and send them to all of your friends. Then I will post them on the internet. GOT ME?!"  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks and Goten looked terrified.  
  
  
  
"Brother's gone mad!" Goten sobbed.  
  
  
  
Gohan felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and spun around to face—his father.  
  
  
  
Goku looked worried, and said gently, "It's ok, Gohan just let them go."  
  
  
  
Gohan released his iron clad grip on Chibi Trunks and Goten and sat down wearily, his face in his hands.  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Videl exited the locker room, and marched up the bleachers to where Gohan was sitting with the two little culprits she was looking for.  
  
  
  
Videl glared at the still terrified Chibi-Trunks and Goten, "You two! You're the ones who stole everyone's undergarments!"  
  
  
  
Reaching out, Videl grabbed the terrified duo by the hair, exactly as Gohan had been holding them a second before, "Where'd you put them you little perverts?!"  
  
  
  
Goku gaped at Videl, "Wow, Gohan! She reminds me of Chi-Chi! No wonder you want her as your mate!"  
  
  
  
Gohan felt like crying. Not his father too. "SHE'S NOT MY MATE!" Gohan screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
  
  
The gym went silent, and every face turned to see Gohan glaring hotly at his father, and a red-faced Videl still holding Chibi Trunks and Goten up by their hair.  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed and sat down. Videl, blushed, and forgetting her mission, sat down next to Gohan and pretended to be very small, hoping that might divert some of the glances.  
  
  
  
From across the bleachers, Sharpener stared at Gohan. This guy was turning out to be A LOT stranger than he had ever imagined! He watched, a bit jealous as Videl started grilling Gohan on some subject, but more amused. He was glad that it wasn't him. Sharpener turned his speculative glance towards Erasa, who winked suggestively. Sharpener brightened. Now THERE was a girl it wasn't DANGEROUS to date!  
  
______________  
  
  
  
As Videl turned her sharp gaze on him, Gohan cringed. "Oh, hey Videl—uh, sorry to leave so quick, earlier, you know, but, uh, I needed to get back to school, uh, yeah."  
  
  
  
Videl glared, "We'll talk about that later, Gohan. And believe me—we WILL talk about it. What I want to know for now, is why the HELL do all of your friends think we're 'mates'?!"  
  
  
  
Gohan thought desperately for a moment, "Uhh, they're from Australia?"  
  
  
  
Videl sighed, *Do I really look that stupid to him?*  
  
  
  
Gohan gulped, "No, I never said you looked stupid!"  
  
  
  
Videl glared at him, "What?!"  
  
"Uhh, you're not stupid?" Gohan asked cautiously.  
  
  
  
This had gone beyond annoyance. This was getting freaky. "GOHAN! I didn't say that OUT LOUD! What are you, psychic or something?!"  
  
  
  
Behind him, Gohan heard Vegeta start to laugh. In light of these new, and incredibly amusing circumstances, Vegeta had completely forgotten his complaints about orange shirts, and underwear stealing eight-year-olds. He gasped out, "I can't believe it! I was right! You're actually bonding with that girl!"  
  
  
  
Gohan paled.  
  
  
  
Videl grew even more annoyed.  
  
  
  
Goku looked surprised, but pleased.  
  
  
  
Krillin looked wickedly gleeful.  
  
  
  
Piccolo looked dumbfounded.  
  
  
  
18 looked amused.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks looked consoling.  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks looked confused.  
  
  
  
Goten looked ecstatic. "Does this mean that Videl's going to be my new sister?"  
  
  
  
Fortunately for Gohan's sanity, and Goten's continued health, at that moment, Mr. Schopenhaur approached the center of the room and called the class to attention. "Ok, as some of you already know, or have figured out, today we're going to hold a Parent-Student competition. Parents on one team, in orange shirts, the kids on the other, in blue. Now, this class is lucky enough that we have a guest speaker today, who's going to be helping us out. Since we're playing baseball, we called up the local team to see if they would mind sending somebody out, but we never expected to get this guy. You guys know him and love him, it's the homerun king himself, BANDIT!"  
  
  
  
Gohan glanced about curiously, as the class whispered in excitement. Who was this Bandit guy? He seemed pretty popular. Beside him, Videl seemed almost to have forgotten their earlier confrontation in her excitement, "Wow, Gohan, I can't believe they got Bandit to come for some silly Parent- Student baseball game! He must be a really nice guy—I can't believe he'd do something like this!"  
  
  
  
Gohan looked curiously at the man who jogged through the double doors. He looked, familiar…Gohan's eyes widened, "Yamcha?!"  
  
  
  
Videl looked at him curiously, "So you do know who he is—I was getting worried there for a minute, Gohan. I mean, you looked like you'd never heard of the greatest ball player since Babe Ruth!"  
  
  
  
Behind them, Goku had also recognized him. "Wow, hey! I didn't know that Yamcha played baseball!"  
  
  
  
Krillin gave him an odd look, "You should have—I told you he did—we had to go pick him up from a game to train at Kami's that first time you, uh, went away on a trip."  
  
  
  
Goku looked at him, confused.  
  
  
  
Krillin sighed, "Right before you met Vegeta?"  
  
  
  
Goku brightened, "Oh, you mean the first time I di--"  
  
  
  
Goku was cut off by a hand slapping down across his mouth. Piccolo glared at him. "Yes, Goku. That time."  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed in relief. "Thanks Piccolo. You're always there for me."  
  
  
  
Videl watched the scene, confused, but just shrugged, and turned back to the front of the room. Yamcha, or Bandit, had begun to speak.  
  
  
  
Yamcha smiled up at the stands, "Hello there, everyone! When I was first contacted to do this, I thought it'd be a--" Yamcha was cut off abruptly, as he was hit by twin whirlwinds. "Urgh. Goten? Trunks? What are you two doing here," asked the startled Yamcha, looking up at the grinning duo on his chest.  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks smirked, "Getting Gohan in trouble."  
  
  
  
Yamcha brightened as he pulled himself back to his feet, "Gohan's here?" Yamcha peered into the stands, finally spotting him, "Hi, Gohan! Oh, wow, Goku, Krillin, Vegeta, 18—what's everybody doing here?"  
  
  
  
Gohan waved back weakly. "Long story, Yamcha."  
  
  
  
Yamcha grinned, "Well, I guess I'll just have to join you guys so I can hear it, after the game." Turning, he continued with his lecture, oblivious to the fact that no one was listening, with Chibi Trunks and Goten still bouncing happily at his side, making faces at the impotent Gohan. In fact everyone was looking at Gohan, although most of the faces were shocked rather than naughty or teasing.  
  
  
  
Who was Son Gohan. They'd thought they knew. Shy, a bit nerdy, intelligent. Apparently that didn't even come close to the whole picture. They'd seen a new Gohan today. A Gohan whose father was a martial arts champion, a Gohan who was friends with Bulma Briefs and stood up to her husband, one of the most feared men in the world. A Gohan who knew baseball great Bandit, on a first name basis. What other secrets was Son Gohan hiding?  
  
  
  
Gohan felt the pressure of their gazes, and knew that nothing would ever be the same again. Glaring down at his brother, and Chibi Trunks, Gohan began plotting three murders rather than just one. *Dende, Goten, Trunks, Dende, Goten, Trunks…* The words ran like a litany through his mind, on which he frantically focused, trying to ignore Videl's considering stare.  
  
________________  
  
  
  
When Yamcha was finally finished with his speech, the class headed outside to the baseball field. They split up into two teams, the Parents and the Kids, and started playing.  
  
  
  
Gohan sat rigidly in the dugout, next to Mirai Trunks, staring at Chibi Trunks and Goten who were sticking to Yamcha like glue. It was as if they somehow thought that Yamcha could protect them from Gohan's wrath. Gohan smirked, a very Vegeta-like smirk, the kind of smirk you see on evil geniuses everywhere. It was definitely not a typical Gohan expression. *Oh, yes, you can run but you can't hide, Goten, Trunks—you too Dende—I'm going to get you all in the end…*  
  
  
  
Videl, who was sitting on the other side of Mirai Trunks, looked at Gohan strangely. "Who's Dende?"  
  
  
  
Gohan was startled, "Uh, what?" *Oh, great, now she's starting to hear MY thoughts!*  
  
  
  
Videl was growing annoyed, "What are you TALKING about, Gohan?! What do you mean I'm hearing your thoughts?"  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks was startled for a moment, then began laughing. After all, Vegeta wasn't there—it was practically his filial duty to take his father's place. "Oh, Gohan," Mirai Trunks gasped, "you really ARE bonding with her!"  
  
  
  
Gohan had had enough. He was mentally exhausted, and the thin rein he'd had on his Saiyan temper snapped. Snarling, Gohan leapt at Trunks, bearing him to the ground, his hands wrapped firmly around the other boy's neck.  
  
  
  
Across the field, Chibi Trunks and Goten crowed with delight, and jumped into the brawl, little fists flying with indiscriminate glee.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks had finally stopped laughing, and grabbed Gohan's wrists, trying to pull the other boy off of him.  
  
  
  
Gohan felt it before it happened. It was one of those odd moments of premonition that come to us in times of great stress. Unable to stop it, Gohan watched in horror as Mirai Trunks' grip on his wrists shifted, and he pressed the little red button on Gohan's watch, turning him into--- Saiyaman.  
  
  
  
Gohan stopped choking Mirai Trunks, and quickly pressed the button to change himself back, but it was far too late.  
  
  
  
The game had, of course, stopped when the fight broke out, and all eyes had been glued to Gohan and Trunks. Nearly sixty pair of eyes had been witness to his transformation.  
  
  
  
Across the field, Vegeta began laughing at Gohan's sickly expression, and Krillin called out, "Oy, Gohan! I thought you didn't want anyone to know you were Saiyaman!"  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks and Goten were laughing uproariously, thinking it was a great joke on Mirai Trunks' part, where Mirai Trunks sat a bit stunned, a dazed and horrified look shining once again from his eyes.  
  
  
  
Videl broke the silence. Leaning over to Gohan she whispered, "You're still going to give me flying lessons, right Gohan?"  
  
____________________  
  
  
  
Dende smiled just a bit smugly at the scene he saw below. Gohan thought he could threaten him and get away with it huh?  
  
  
  
Dende felt a little bad about taking over Mirai Trunks again, but shrugged it off. This was a matter of survival, after all.  
  
  
  
With the day Dende saw ahead of him, Gohan would forget Dende's little jokes in no time. Glancing over the edge of the lookout once again, Dende saw Tien flying ever closer to Orange Star High School. Looks like someone else had decided to join the party.  
  
  
  
Dende shook his head and sent a thought flying down to Gohan, *Sorry Gohan—but most of this wasn't my fault. What say I warn you that Tien's about to show up, and we call it even.*  
  
_____________________  
  
  
  
Gohan scowled and thanked Dende for the information. Perhaps he wouldn't kill him. Just severely injure him.  
  
  
  
Yamcha was trying to get the game back in motion, and Goten and Chibi Trunks had run off to spar in the outfield. Gohan just didn't care anymore. Didn't care if they were moving faster than normal humans should be able to move, didn't care if they were floating a few inches off the ground, didn't care about anything at all.  
  
  
  
Videl looked at Gohan with concern. He was brooding—that wasn't like Gohan. Hesitantly she put a hand on his shoulder, jerking him out of his reverie, "Are you ok, Gohan?"  
  
  
  
Gohan smiled. It was nice to know that someone cared. "Yeah, thanks Videl. It just seems like everything is going wrong today, you know what I mean?"  
  
  
  
Videl nodded, a slightly sarcastic expression gracing her features. "You have a talent for understatement, Gohan."  
  
  
  
Gohan smiled in embarrassed agreement. He looked into Videl's eyes, and was instantly captivated by what he saw. Cold, sarcastic, violent, unapproachable on the outside, Videl's eyes were like windows, and Gohan could see the beauty of her soul.  
  
  
  
*Ha, so you want to take her for a mate, right?*  
  
  
  
"Shut up, inner Krillin." Gohan muttered.  
  
  
  
Videl cocked her head, confused, "What?"  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed, "Never mind."  
  
  
  
On the field, Gohan saw the baseball game winding down. No one was really interested, what with Yamcha there, and the identity of the Great Saiyaman just having been revealed before their very eyes.  
  
  
  
Thankfully, neither Goku nor Vegeta had had a turn up at bat. Krillin had been pitching, but then Krillin was the soul of discretion when it came to revealing his powers. He had pitched slow and easy, which of course meant he looked like he played in the major leagues, but no one had paid it much attention after all that had occurred that day.  
  
  
  
Calling Chibi Trunks and Goten in from their spar in right field, Goku joined up with his son, Mirai Trunks and Videl, who were waiting by the gate for everyone to join them.  
  
  
  
Goku grinned at his son, "So, what's next Gohan? Oh, and what was that fight with Trunks all about?"  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks grinned. With all the help he'd received from Dende that day, he'd managed to discover his evil side and keep it uncovered all by himself. "He and Videl are bonding," Trunks mock whispered, "They've been hearing each other's thoughts."  
  
  
  
Gohan glared at Mirai Trunks. He should really start a hit list.  
  
  
  
Vegeta walked up to his Mirai son, smiling broadly, and clapped him on the shoulder, "I'm proud of you son. You're becoming a true Saiyan."  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks smirked evilly at Chibi Trunks and exchanged a glance with his father. "Thanks dad," Mirai Trunks grinned.  
  
  
  
Krillin shook his head, walking up on the scene along with 18, Yamcha and Piccolo. Seeing that evilness was the order of the day, Krillin snuck up behind Gohan and whispered into his ear, "You really like Videl, don't you Gohan."  
  
  
  
Gohan put his fingers to his temples and yelled, "Stop it inner Krillin, stop it! I like her ok? Are you happy? Now will you quit hounding me?!"  
  
  
  
Krillin, who had backed away warily when Gohan started yelling tapped the boy on the shoulder. "Calm down, Gohan. I was just kidding." Krillin paused, and looked curiously at Gohan, "and what's an inner Krillin?"  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed and turned to flee, only to find Videl standing in his path. *Wow—I can't believe he likes me…*  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed, "Wh-what? What are you talking about?"  
  
  
  
Videl blushed and looked at him in confusion, "What do you mean? I didn't say anything!"  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks nudged his father in the ribs, "Psst, they're doing it again."  
  
  
  
Vegeta nodded sagely, then replied loudly, "Yes. She's definitely his mate."  
  
  
  
Gohan's second attempted murder of the day was forestalled by the arrival of Tien. Smiling, the three eyed man floated down in front of the group, much to the astonishment of the parents and students still milling aimlessly about.  
  
  
  
Tien smiled, "Hey guys—what's up? I felt all of your ki's gathered in one place, and I figured something must be wrong!"  
  
  
  
Goku smiled, "Nah, we're just here for 'Bring a Parent to School Day' with Gohan."  
  
  
  
Tien's third eye widened a bit, "ALL of you? And who's this," he asked, pointing to the still surprised Videl.  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked. He didn't know when to quit. "That's Gohan's mate."  
  
  
  
Goten squealed happily and jumped about shouting, "I'm gonna have a si-- ster, I'm gonna have a si--ster!"  
  
  
  
Gohan took a deep breath and banged his head into a convenient metal post, several times—HARD. He had just added another name to his hit list. Now it was Dende, Goten, Chibi Trunks, Mirai Trunks, and Vegeta. He didn't know how he'd kill Vegeta yet—but he'd find a way.  
  
  
  
Ignoring the startled gasps of his classmates as they pointed at the post he had just bent in half with his head, Gohan barked, "LUNCH!" and whirled away, followed closely by Videl, Vegeta, Goku, Mirai Trunks, Piccolo, Krillin, 18, Chibi Trunks, Goten, and now Yamcha and Tien.  
  
  
  
Still relatively sane, if somewhat homicidal, Gohan lead his little army up to the lunch room, and wondering hopelessly what horrors Dende had planned for him there.  
  
  
  
***Muahaha! LUNCH! With FIVE SAIYANS! I know Yamcha as a baseball player is so typical, but I had to gather them all—any idea what for? Here's a hint—the class after lunch is HISTORY! R&R please!*** 


	6. Lunch, Love & Escapades

Disclaimer—::playing marbles with Vegeta/Troll doll:: Hmm? Oh. I don't own DB/Z/GT. ::shoots a marble:: Aww, Veggie, you LET me win!  
  
  
  
A/N—Yikes—I never even thought of bringing in Launch at Lunch—everybody else did though, apparently! Sorry, no Launch, I'm still deciding on Master Roshi, but not in this chapter. Dende, will however, make a guest appearance! Oh, and uh, hehe—with Chibi and Mirai, that WOULD make six Saiyans rather than five, huh ::thinks furiously:: Uggghhh would you buy that I was counting the two Trunks' as the same person? Yeah, that's it! Anyway, with all of the nice reviews I got, I hope you guys aren't disappointed with this chapter—I'm beginning to think that reviews=PRESSURE! Hope you like it!  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Goten and Chibi Trunks trudged near the end of Gohan's little parade. With all of the earlier excitement, Goten had forgotten his hunger, but now that he had remembered it, it was back full force, and he was MORE than ready to eat. Chibi Trunks, however, had a different plan in mind.  
  
  
  
"Come ON Goten! We have to do this NOW, or no one will see it, and our plan will be ruined," Trunks argued.  
  
  
  
"I know, but Trunks, I'm sooooo hungry," Goten whined, clutching at his stomach.  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks glared at his best friend. "Come on Goten—a true Saiyan warrior wouldn't ever desert his mission—even if he was hungry!" Chibi Trunks said this as much to remind himself, as to convince Goten—he was hungry too.  
  
  
  
Goten paused, a conflicted look on his normally cherubic face, "You-you really think so Trunks?"  
  
  
  
Trunks nodded affirmatively, "Yeah. I know that's what my dad would say."  
  
  
  
Goten gulped, tearing a bit. "Al-alright Trunks. I'm a real Saiyan too. Let's go."  
  
  
  
Trunks smiled at Goten, ignoring his own rumbling belly, "Come on Goten—this one'll go down in the history books."  
  
  
  
Through his snivels, Goten couldn't help but smile, "Yeah Trunks. This'll be the best one yet."  
  
  
  
Cautiously, the two pint-sized mischief-makers detached themselves from the main troupe of Gohan's party, and hid behind a garbage can until the rest had passed.  
  
  
  
From the corner of his eye, Vegeta saw the two escape, but decided not to mention it. There was a gleam in Chibi Trunks' eyes, and Vegeta wanted to see what it resulted in.  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed and turned around to face his little party. With all of the people present, no one even noticed that they were missing two little demi- demons---errr—Saiyans.  
  
  
  
Gohan cleared his throat. "Who needs to buy a lunch," he asked, looking at his friends.  
  
  
  
Tien, Yamcha, Krillin, and 18 raised their hands. Gohan sighed. "Alright. The rest of us brought capsule lunches, but if you guys follow me, I'll take you to the cafeteria, and you can buy some food there."  
  
  
  
As Gohan led the others off towards the cafeteria, Goku, Vegeta, Piccolo, Mirai Trunks and Videl sought a shady place on the grass.  
  
  
  
Videl pulled an apple, a sandwich, and a soda out of her backpack and set down cross-legged watching the preparations of the others curiously. Piccolo leaned against a nearby tree trunk, while both Goku and Vegeta pulled several large capsules out of their pockets and unencapsulated them, revealing picnic tables literally COVERED in food.  
  
  
  
Videl's eyes grew wide as the picnic tables increased in number, until there were eight in all, lined up in the shade of the trees.  
  
  
  
Goku looked at the tables critically. "Gee, Vegeta, I don't think we have enough food, what with Chibi Trunks and Goten here and all," Goku paused, and looked around, "hey, now where did those two go?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta snorted, "I saw them sneak off awhile ago. I'm sure they'll be back."  
  
  
  
Goku shrugged. They could take care of themselves. "Hey, Vegeta—I'm going to go get some more capsule tables from Bulma, ok?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta shrugged, "Whatever."  
  
  
  
Goku grinned and put two fingers to his forehead, "Be right back!"  
  
  
  
Videl blinked in shock at the spot that Goku had occupied a moment before. Turning to Mirai Trunks, she cocked an eyebrow, "Care to explain that?"  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks carefully avoided her gaze, "Not really." He was never gladder to be Vegeta's son than at that moment. There was NO WAY he would have traded places with Gohan—not with the look in Videl's eyes.  
  
_____________________  
  
  
  
Gohan walked into the cafeteria and pointed to the line that stretched across the room. "You can either stand there all period for some good food, and have about five minutes left to eat it, or," Gohan pointed to an almost empty line, "you can get your food quick and regret it."  
  
  
  
Yamcha laughed, "Oh, come on Gohan, it can't be THAT bad!"  
  
  
  
18 stepped to the front of the short line, and paid for her food. Standing next to Gohan, she stared warily at the mess before her, as she waited for the others to finish getting theirs.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, 18 dropped her tray and sent a small ki blast into her plate, evaporating it and it's contents, leaving nothing but a blackened smudge on the linoleum floor.  
  
  
  
Gohan stared at 18 slack-jawed, "18, why did you blow up your lunch?!"  
  
  
  
18 blinked calmly at Gohan, "It was moving."  
  
  
  
"It was what?" Gohan asked, paying no attention to the entire cafeteria staring his way—he was getting used to it.  
  
  
  
"It was moving—it may still have been alive." 18 answered calmly.  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed. Maybe after he finished with the people on his hit list, he could go into the mountains, dig a deep hole, lie down there and wait to die.  
  
  
  
Krillin walked up to his wife and grinned at Gohan sheepishly, "Sorry Gohan, but I think 18's right. This stuff's moving," Krillin poked gingerly at the goo decorating his plate.  
  
  
  
Tien and Yamcha walked up behind Krillin, smiling, "Hey, it's ok Gohan. We got a water for Piccolo, but as for the rest of us, I'm sure Goku won't mind zapping us somewhere to get something decent."  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed. Why hadn't he thought of that before? "Alright then. Let's just get going before something else happens."  
  
  
  
Gohan walked out of the cafeteria, his footsteps echoing in the silence, with Tien, Yamcha, and Krillin close behind. 18 paused for a moment to look at the lunch Krillin had abandoned on the counter. "Disgusting," she grimaced, evaporating it with a well placed ki beam, then turned and followed Gohan and the other back out to the picnic.  
  
____________________  
  
  
  
Gohan arrived with Tien, Yamcha, Krillin and 18 in tow, to find Goku setting up the last of fifteen picnic tables, and Bulma reclining next to Vegeta on the grass.  
  
  
  
Yamcha smiled, "Hey Bulma," tossing the bottle of water to Piccolo, he took a seat on the grass, "what are you doing here?"  
  
  
  
Bulma looked over at him and grinned, "Well, Goku came over to get a few capsule lunches, and he told me that Chibi Trunks and Goten were here. I decided that since everyone else was here, I'd come along and hang out with you guys—and," Bulma winked, "spare you from having to eat the cafeteria food."  
  
  
  
Krillin smiled gratefully, "Gee, thanks Bulma—that stuff they had wasn't fit for human consumption."  
  
  
  
Tien laughed, "Yeah, 18 ki blasted some of it because she thought it was still alive!"  
  
  
  
18 smirked, and Bulma looked at Gohan, concerned, "Uh, oh. Aren't you worried about that Gohan?"  
  
  
  
Gohan, who had just sat down across from Videl, his arms loaded with plates, shrugged. "Actually Bulma, 18 ki blasting some cafeteria slop has been the least of my problems today. I don't really want to talk about it."  
  
  
  
Across from Gohan, Videl put down her sandwich and glared. "Well, that's just too bad, Gohan! It's explanation time, and you're NOT getting out of it!"  
  
  
  
Bulma blinked in surprise at the girl who was pestering Gohan, "Who's that?" She whispered to the others.  
  
  
  
Bulma was surrounded by amused smirks. Krillin responded, "She's Gohan's girlfriend."  
  
  
  
Bulma squealed in delight, "Gohan has a girlfriend?!"  
  
  
  
Both Gohan and Videl turned piercing stares on the blue-haired woman. Bulma's eyes widened and she inched a little closer to Vegeta, until they turned away. Blinking up at her husband, Bulma whispered, "What was THAT all about? I've never seen Gohan that angry before!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta snorted and replied, "He's bonding with that girl and can't accept it. Just look at them now."  
  
  
  
Bulma looked at Gohan and Videl who were sitting staring at each other, as if they were having some sort of conversation. Their hands gestured, their faces contorted into expressions, but neither of them uttered a sound.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks snorted. "Ha. I bet they don't even know they're not talking out loud."  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked proudly at his son. "I'm sure you're absolutely right, son."  
  
  
  
Bulma watched in astonishment as Vegeta and Mirai Trunks exchanged identical looks of evil glee. *Oh, no! What happened to my son?! He's acting like Vegeta—I never meant for this to happen—I just wanted them to get along!* She thought in horror.  
  
  
  
Vegeta, catching his mate's thought, smirked and replied, *We do get along woman. Now that he's come over, to the dark side…*  
  
  
  
Bulma sat mute in astonishment. *What have I done…*  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Videl and Gohan indeed did NOT realize that they were carrying on a mental conversation. So vehement was their discussion, they never even noticed Mirai Trunks walking casually up behind Gohan.  
  
  
  
*So what you're saying, Gohan, is that your father posed as Saiyaman? And he's also able to turn into a Gold Fighter?*  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed, *Yes. Just like I told you—Vegeta, Mirai Trunks, Dad, Goten, Chibi Trunks and I can all turn into Gold Fighters. It gives us incredible strength. That's how I can fly, and shoot beams from my hands.*  
  
  
  
Videl's brow furrowed, *Do you mean that I can't fly because I'm not part 'Saydin' or whatever you called it?*  
  
  
  
*Saiyan. But no—you should be able to learn how to manipulate ki—I mean, Yamcha, Krillin and Tien are all full humans, and they can shoot ki beams and fly. With practice, I think you could be stronger than Yamcha—maybe even as strong as Krillin, and he's the strongest human on the planet!*  
  
  
  
At this point, their silent conversation was interrupted by Mirai Trunks, who leaned down and said, "You guys do know that you were just talking mentally, right?"  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed and began stuttering, while Videl shot Mirai Trunks a confused and annoyed look.  
  
  
  
Goku looked up from the third picnic table, which he had almost finished clearing, and yelled, "He's right you know, Gohan, you guys were communicating through your bond!"  
  
  
  
"We-we're not BONDED!" Gohan yelped, embarrassment and anger fighting for dominance over his features.  
  
  
  
Vegeta laughed, ignoring Bulma's disapproving look, "You might as well mate with her and get it over with," he called, "it's inevitable, brat—that girl's going to be your mate!"  
  
  
  
Erasa, who had been standing on the sidelines for several minutes watching in awe as Goku and Vegeta cleared massive amounts of food from the picnic tables, rushed up to Videl, and flopped down beside her, "Oh my gosh, Videl! Are you and Gohan getting MARRIED?!" she squealed.  
  
  
  
Before Videl had had a chance to answer, Erasa's mouth dropped open, "Oh my GOD! You're not PREGNANT are you?" she asked, looking worriedly at her friend.  
  
  
  
This time it was Videl's turn for frantic denials, "NO! Erasa, NO! I'm not pregnant, and I'm not marrying Gohan!"  
  
  
  
"Oh." Erasa looked slightly disappointed. Little could keep a girl as bubbly as Erasa down for long, however, and she perked up at a thought, "OH! Guess what?!"  
  
  
  
Videl sighed, trying to think of a way to politely rid herself of Erasa, "What Erasa?"  
  
  
  
Erasa squealed and clapped her hands, "Sharpener asked me out!"  
  
  
  
Videl restrained herself from rolling her eyes. She really wanted to get back to her conversation with Gohan. "That's nice Erasa."  
  
  
  
"Uh huh!" Erasa continued, oblivious to Videl's bored tone, "And now you and Gohan and me and Sharpener can double date!"  
  
  
  
Videl shot a dagger-like glare at her friend. "Leave—NOW!"  
  
  
  
Erasa laughed and leaped to her feet. Joining her mother, who had somehow managed to corner a morose looking Goku at the fifth picnic table, Erasa called, "Alright Videl, but I know you love Gohan—after all, that's what the sign says!"  
  
  
  
Giggling, Erasa pulled away her mother, who was disappointedly commenting that Goku's hair just wouldn't hold a braid.  
  
  
  
As a shell-shocked Goku dragged his fingers through his hair, trying to remove his new braids, courtesy of Erasa's mother, Videl glanced warily at Gohan. "Sign?"  
  
  
  
Gohan shrugged. "I have no idea."  
  
  
  
Gohan jerked a little in surprise as Sharpener walked up behind him and gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder. "Gohan," Sharpener crowed, "dude, why didn't you TELL me you were Saiyaman?!"  
  
  
  
Gohan groaned and rubbed his forehead, "Maybe because I didn't want anybody to know, Sharpener?"  
  
  
  
Sharpener laughed, "Yeah, whatever, man. Dad and I are going to go look at your sign again—that's so awesome, dude! No wonder you and Videl are getting married!"  
  
  
  
Gohan blanched. "Married? Sign? Sharpener, Videl and I are NOT getting married—where did you hear that? And what is this sign everyone keeps talking about?!"  
  
  
  
Sharpener looked at Gohan, confused, "Dude, that's so uncool—you should really marry Videl—what are you going to do about the baby and all?"  
  
  
  
Videl had had enough. Leaping to her feet, she grabbed Sharpener by the throat, "I AM NOT PREGNANT! WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!"  
  
  
  
Sharpener gasped and choked for air, as his father cowered out of the way. Finally getting the message, Videl calmed down enough to put Sharpener down and let him speak. Vegeta and Mirai Trunks' laughter in the background did NOT help her temper.  
  
  
  
Sharpener breathed heavily for a few seconds. "S-sorry, Videl," he wheezed, "I think it was one of Erasa's friends who told me, but it's all around campus that you're pregnant and you and Gohan are getting married. And that sign doesn't help matters much."  
  
  
  
Videl breathed deeply. She felt like screaming, but Satan Videl did NOT scream. "What sign Sharpener," she asked in a low, deadly tone.  
  
  
  
Sharpener rubbed his throat, looking confused and still a bit afraid, "You mean you don't know? Here—follow me." Sharpener started through the crush of students, with Videl and Gohan close behind him.  
  
  
  
Vegeta and Mirai Trunks took one look at each other and followed. There was no way they were going to miss this.  
  
  
  
Seeing her husband and son depart, Bulma sighed and stood to follow them, followed closely by Krillin, 18, Piccolo, Tien, and Yamcha.  
  
  
  
Goku hurriedly encapsulated the picnic tables and took off after them. He wanted to be there. He had a bad feeling about this.  
  
___________________  
  
  
  
Arriving on the scene, Goku was stunned to see Mirai Trunks and Vegeta rolling on the ground with laughter. Bulma was staring at them in shock and horror, as Piccolo and Krillin yelled calming words at a golden figure standing on the lawn. Goku's mouth fell open. It was Gohan.  
  
  
  
Standing on the lawn in Super Saiyan form, Gohan shot ki blasts into the air at two dodging, bobbing little golden blurs. Next to him, stood Videl, screaming curses up at Gohan's Super Saiyan targets.  
  
  
  
Goku pulled up next to Tien and Yamcha who were standing slack jawed with amazement. "What's going on guys?! Why is Gohan sparring with Goten and Chibi Trunks here of all places?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta, who had finally managed to pull himself together, looked at Goku and snorted, "They're not sparring Kakkarott—more like your brat is trying to blast my brat and your second brat," Vegeta paused, repeating his sentence mentally to make sure he'd gotten all the 'brats' straight. Yes. Vegeta continued, "Into the next dimension."  
  
  
  
Goku's eyes widened, and he spoke to empty air as Vegeta powered up and went to restrain Gohan, "But, but, why?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta struggled to hold onto the howling Gohan who had managed to control himself enough to drop out of Super Saiyan. Vegeta smirked, and nodded to the message on the grass, "I'd say that's why."  
  
  
  
Across the lawn, spelled out somewhat sloppily in the bra's and panties Chibi Trunks and Goten had liberated in their earlier heist, were the words: GOHAN LOVES VIDEL written in large, uneven letters.  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked at his younger son who sat panting on the grass, next to a slightly singed Goten. Chibi Trunks was holding his stomach in a combination of hunger, and laughter. The boy showed promise.  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked down at Mirai Trunks who had yet to contain his amusement, and still rolled around on the pavement. Both of them showed promise.  
  
  
  
Vegeta felt a gush of happy, sappy sentimentality. His sons had done him proud.  
  
  
  
***Haha! Gohan FINALLY lost it! Next time, LUNCH—Part 2. And, possibly, the beginning of History! R&R please!***  
  
  
  
*Advertising*-Ok, I royally command you to read 'A Guide to Wilderness Survival' by mae. It only has one chapter up so far, but it's a Gohan/Videl fic, and it looks to be really good. In fact all of mae's stuff is pretty frickin hilarious! If I'm not mistaken, she has another fic about Goku and Vegeta being DRAFTED—I mean, can you imagine? Please read, so she will put up another chapter and I can read it myself! 


	7. Questions answered here!

Frozenflower: "Since some people reviewed for chapter seven ::glares evilly:: I will be using this chapter to answer questions you may have about this fic! Please submit any questions or suggestions along with your review, and I will answer them in this chapter every time I update! Booya, good idea, ne? SO, anyway, I'm leaving Vegeta here, go ahead and ask him your questions!"  
  
Vegeta: "Wha?!"  
  
Frozenflower: "HUSH!"  
  
Vegeta: ::considers disobeying, but has terrifying flashback of tea party, and shudders meekly::  
  
Frozenflower: ::smirk:: "That's what I thought. Alrighty people! Toodles and noodles, AND—hands off the Veggie—he's just here for questions!"  
  
Vegeta: ::gulps in terror at being left to the mercy of reviewers, but obediently remains as Frozenflower departs:: "Someone please save me…"  
  
  
  
-Questions for Chapter 8-  
  
Veggie-chan: ::clears throat nervously, staring edgily at reviewers:: "Ok, the first question is from Mystic Kintoun."  
  
Mystic Kintoun: "You know that episode (the dubbed one) when Vegeta destroys the punching machine and Videl finds out that the man in the orange Gi is Gohan's father? In the Japanese version did Videl actually find out that Goku was the Son Goku, not just Gohan's dad? Because in practically every story everyone's surprised that Gohan is son of Son GOku the martial artist who fought in... blah blah blah... and so I thought that the English version changed it."  
  
Veggie-chan: "Actually, that is a good question—I have no idea, not having seen the subbed version. Frozenflower forced me to watch the dubbed with her, but I think she just sort of got that idea from other fanfics—she's a thief you know!"  
  
Frozenflower: "Ehem, I'm standing right here, VEGGIE-CHAN!"  
  
Veggie-chan: "Err…oops? Anyway, next question is from Beth."  
  
Beth: "Okay Vegeta, here is a question for you—Why didn't you finish the sex-ed class?? Goku could have learned a thing or two, and on top of that i never did get that lemon I wanted, did I? You know from the previous story, Getting Mom and Dad Together? If you don't remember what a lemon story is, ask Bulma, she should remember. So now I demand a one on one Saiyan mating- ed class. I want to know where to sign in, and how many others will attend and if there can be volunteers for special learning skills??"  
  
Veggie-chan: ::blushes hotly:: "Err, actually Frozenflower was making that whole part up—I would NEVER kiss Bulma in front of a bunch of baka humans! However…::leans close to Beth and whispers:: "If you rescue me from Frozenflower, I will consider those lessons…"  
  
Frozenflower: ::glares at Vegeta, polishing 'Almighty-Frying-Pan-of- Terror™ lovingly::  
  
Veggie-chan: ::gulp:: "Next question is from Kai."  
  
Kai: "Which Trunks asked if they had mated yet at the end???"  
  
Veggie-chan: "That would have been my younger son, Chibi-Trunks. Frozenflower was just too stupid to put that in BONG ::nurses frying-pan- shaped bump:: Next question by Ultimate_Android_18."  
  
Ultimate_Android_18: "Why does your hair look stupid and why are you a vegetable?"  
  
Veggie-chan: ::looks at Frozenflower pleadingly:: "Can I blast her?"  
  
Frozenflower: ::thinks for a moment, then nods::  
  
Veggie-chan: "Yeah!" ::blasts Ultimate_Android_18 for insulting the princely 'do'::  
  
Frozenflower: "Ok, that's all from Veggie this time, if you have a REAL question, insert it with your review, and if Veggie deems it worthy, it will be answered here, next time! Wave bye Veggie!"  
  
Veggie-chan: "Do I have to?"  
  
Frozenflower: "Yes."  
  
Veggie-chan: ::waves sullenly:: "Bye."  
  
-Questions for Chapter 9-  
  
Frozenflower: "We're back with another exciting episode of ask Veggie a question! The first question comes from Lia."  
  
Lia: "Did Chi Chi market her 'Almight-Frying-Pan-of-Terror™', or did she just give one to Bulma to deal with her Saiyan husband and kids? At the end, will Videl receive one? Where can I buy one?"  
  
Veggie-chan: "Yes, the baka woman really did market it. She said something about it being used as a weapon to combat international terrorism. As for Kakkarott's brat's mate getting one, oh, be assured ::smirks evilly:: she will receive one anonymously in the mail the day they mate."  
  
Frozenflower: "Okaaaaaaaay….well, next question is from Raijra.  
  
Raijra: "1. Why do you torture poor Gohan so much???? 2. What's with Vegeta's invisible pockets in spandex?????"  
  
Veggie-chan: "Those questions are rather easily answered. 1) The brat deserves it. 2) The woman, Bulma, got tired of my ranting about not having anywhere to put things in my functional and attractive spandex, so she built several pockets that act as capsules on the inside. Anything I put in them is automatically compressed, so I maintain my smooth attractive spandex physique ::smirks proudly::"  
  
Frozenflower: "Veggie, do you know the meaning of the word 'modesty'?  
  
Veggie-chan: "No."  
  
Frozenflower: "Riiiiight. Anyway, next question is from Xaashaaz.  
  
Xaashaaz: "Why, Vegetable brains, are you such a stupid f*****g a*****e Especially to the wonderful and beautiful FrozenFlower?"  
  
Frozenflower: ::preens:: "Yeah, Veggie! Answer the question!"  
  
Veggie-chan: ::looks incredulously at Xaashaaz:: "I think I'll forgive you that insult—you've obviously never met the **** ******** ***** ******!  
  
Frozenflower: ::gasp:: VEGGIE!!! HOW DARE YOU?!?!?!  
  
Veggie-chan: ::confused:: "WHAT?! It's just a bunch of fricking stars and you typed them anyway, don't blame me!"  
  
Frozenflower: "Err…oh yeah. Hehe. Well, on to the next question! This question is from Cele  
  
Cele: "#1) Why does everyone love to torture my Gohan-chan? #2) Is there any chance of you and both Trunkses doing something Mega-Super-Really-Cell- Like-Evil thing to Gohan...? Like exposing the Cell Games?"  
  
Veggie-chan: "1) I told you the little gaki deserves it 2) ::smirks proudly:: Of course—they're MY son's."  
  
Frozenflower: ::rolls eyes:: Ok, next question by Selestial Demon and WD."  
  
SelestialDemon: "Vegeta, where DO you get all those pockets?" oh! and my friend hassa question!  
  
WD(friend): Veggie-Sama, would you autograph my cat?!  
  
Veggie-chan: "GAK! No, I hate the furry little, fuzzy, sweet….::softens as WD's cat saunters up to him:: kitty kitty kitty….."  
  
Frozenflower: "Ha! I knew you liked cats Veggie!"  
  
Veggie-chan: ::looks up from petty kitty:: "GAK! I was just seeing if it was…tender, yeah that's it! So I can eat it! ::attempts evil laugh:: As for the pockets, I already explained that the woman made them for me…"  
  
Frozenflower: ::thinks about pressing cat issue, but decides against it:: "Ok, the last question for now (my wrists hurt!) is from C-chan.  
  
C-chan: "#1- Who decided that Chichi had a frying pan?  
  
#2- Where did she get it?  
  
#3- Is Yamcha REALLY a pro baseball player or is that just something us fanfic writers made up and everyone started using?  
  
#4- What's Mirai Trunks' and Gohan's phone numbers? I know that you know almighty one!"  
  
Veggie-chan: "I have no idea who decided to give that evil woman a frying pan, but whoever did, ought to be hung! She got it by selling her soul to Satan (not Mr. Satan) as the thing is incredibly powerful—it can knock Kakkarott over the head and not even be scratched—it must be made of the hardest substance in the universe, as I'm sure the second hardest has to be 'Kakkarott-skull.' Yes Yamcha really is a pro-ball player, a baka like him couldn't do much else, and as for my Mirai Brat and Kakkarott's brat's phone numbers, Kakkarott's brat isn't allowed to talk on the phone—his mommy doesn't let him, and I believe the androids blew up the phone lines in my Mirai Brat's time (at least that's what I tell Frozenflower ::snickers::)  
  
Frozenflower: "HEY! I heard that Veggie! You're giving me Mirai's number RIGHT NOW!" ::drags Veggie-chan off into the darkness to do unspeakable things to him::  
  
Veggie-chan: "No, not again! NOOOOOOOO not the WHIPPED CREAM!!!!!!!"  
  
C-chan: "Umm, well, I guess Frozenflower will bring Veggie back to answer your questions later." ::walks off into the darkness looking embarrassed and confused:: 


	8. Perverts & More Lunch

Disclaimer—I do not own the rights to pink haired Troll dolls. Nor do I own the rights to DB/Z/GT. Obviously. (I don't know why everybody hates the disclaimer. It's my favorite part!)  
  
A/N—"Muahaha! I'm glad you all want my Veggie-chan. Wanna know why? HE'S MINE! BUT, if you can get hold of Mirai Trunks, I MIGHT consider a trade…"  
  
Veggie-chan: "Hey!"  
  
Frozenflower: gulp "Heh, just kidding Veggie…whispers to reviewers "Email me if you find Mirai…"  
  
Veggie-chan: wounded glare  
  
Frozenflower: grins cheekily "Now on with the story!"  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Gohan was stiffly escorted back to the picnic site by his father. Behind them trailed the Z-senshi, excluding Bulma, who had volunteered to remain behind and take care of the…uhh…'delicate articles'…from which The Sign had been constructed.  
  
  
  
Seeing Gohan plunk heavily down beneath the shade of the trees, Goku was convinced that his son wasn't going anywhere. Goku re-deployed the picnic tables, and then turned his gaze on the two chibi's at his knee. Chibi Trunks and Goten had stuck to him like glue since pulling off their little prank. It was as if they thought that Goku would somehow go easy on them. Perhaps it was the silly smile—the admitted naïveté—the fact that he never quite knew when to keep his mouth shut—perhaps it was one, or any combination of these factors that had lead the chibi's to expect mercy at Goku's hands. Goku braced himself: he was a just man—and this was a case in which justice needed to be served.  
  
  
  
Goku looked sadly at the boys. Goten was drooling at the picnic tables, a large puddle forming in the grass at his feet, while Chibi Trunks was in a similar state, only he was trying not to be quite so obvious about it. Goku cleared his throat, startling Chibi Trunks and Goten, causing them to blink up at him. Goten cocked his head, "Yes papa?" he chirped, oblivious to the drool running down his chin.  
  
  
  
Goku felt bad. He never liked disciplining. That was the job of Chi-Chi and her 'Almighty-Frying Pan-of-Terror, ™' but he knew his responsibility. This had to be done. "Goten, Trunks," Goku said seriously, looking at the two Chibi's, "You know what you did was wrong, don't you."  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks looked up with the big, shining eyes that had always worked so well on his mother, "Sorry, Goku-san. We were just playing—we thought Gohan would think it was funny," he said earnestly.  
  
  
  
Goten gazed curiously at his friend, "No we didn't Trunks—you said Gohan would get really, really mad and try to blow us up—and boy were you right!"  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks glared at his friend. Sometimes Goten was so clueless.  
  
  
  
From the shade of the trees, several meters away, a low growl emitted from Gohan's throat. Videl, who was sitting next to him looked like she wanted to growl too.  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks and Goten nervously flickered back up to Super Saiyan—just in case.  
  
  
  
As Piccolo placed a calming hand on Gohan's shoulder, the two Chibi's turned their attention back to Goku, nervously remaining powered up.  
  
  
  
Goku looked at them sadly. He felt as if he were condemning them to death. Closing his eyes, and ignoring the low rumbling growl coming from their bellies, Goku pronounced his sentence. "Goten. Trunks. What you did was wrong, and as your punishment, you will get no lunch." There. He'd said it.  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks and Goten looked at Goku as if he were Frieza reborn. Goten, after a searching glance determined that his father was in fact serious, wilted out of Super Saiyan and collapsed to the ground. His last thoughts were, *Banana, chicken, orange juice…* as he fell into a dead faint.  
  
  
  
Trunks gazed at his fallen friend. Turning his eyes upward, he saw Gohan looking at him with an evil gleam of satisfaction in his eyes, and Mirai Trunks whose gazed was filled with something akin to pity. Chibi Trunks' last thoughts before he hit the ground beside his friend were, *underwear…evil…Gohan…*  
  
  
  
Goku gazed down at the fallen pranksters with pity. It was the worst possible punishment he could think of, but he knew they deserved it. Gently moving the unconscious duo into the shade of the trees where Yamcha and the others were sitting, Goku returned to the picnic tables, and grabbed a plate.  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Vegeta looked on in amusement as his younger son fainted under Kakkarott's threat. The boy could face ki beams shot by an enraged Super Saiyan, and didn't flinch during even the toughest of their training sessions together, but Kakkarott taking away his lunch reduced him to the hungry 8-year-old he was.  
  
  
  
Vegeta nonchalantly stuffed a few apples in one of his numerous and infinitely expandable spandex pockets. It wasn't like he was saving them for the BOY or anything…it was just that he might get hungry later…  
  
  
  
Leaning back in the shade, trying to rationalize away his random act of kindness, Vegeta's head jerked up when he heard a scream in the distance. It was Bulma!  
  
  
  
Leaping to his feet, Vegeta growled. He should never have left the woman alone. Cursing his stupidity, Vegeta sped across the grass, followed closely by the rest of the Z-senshi, save the two unconscious Chibi's who decorated the grass like little lawn ornaments, huddled in the shade of the trees.  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Arriving on the scene, Goku blinked in astonishment. Chi-Chi must have marketed her "Almighty-Frying-Pan-of-Terror ™" without him knowing it, because there stood Bulma, whacking Master Roshi over the head with an exact replica of the one that he knew so well.  
  
  
  
Vegeta stormed up and demanded loudly, "What the hell is going on here woman?!" Goku watched as the Saiyan Prince turned his growling stare on the pervert cowering at Bulma's feet. "Were you messing with my mate?" he asked, in a low, dangerous voice.  
  
  
  
Bulma regretfully decided that Vegeta blowing up the legendary martial arts master would be bad publicity for Capsule Corps. and stepped in. "No, Vegeta—he was just trying to steal the underwear that I was clearing up, that's all."  
  
  
  
Roshi was on his feet and blinking painfully as his fingers discovered several new bumps raised by the "Almighty-Frying-Pan-of-Terror ™."  
  
  
  
Gohan was gazing sadly at his father's former mentor. Just what he needed. A pervert on the order of Roshi could only make his day more interesting. He had to get rid of the man—and quick! The last thing he needed was for this day to get anymore interesting. Ignoring the students who were milling absently, pointing at the craters he had created in his earlier attempted murder of Chibi Trunks and Goten, Gohan pushed his way past Vegeta to glare into Roshi's face. Videl, who was never one to be left behind, also shoved past Vegeta, ignoring his squawk of outrage.  
  
  
  
Vegeta momentarily considered blasting the girl into oblivion for her temerity, but his anger faded into amusement as Gohan growled at him. Vegeta grinned. "Don't worry boy, I won't touch your mate."  
  
  
  
Gohan's eyes flickered green momentarily, then he turned back to Master Roshi. He'd take care of Vegeta later. "Master Roshi," Gohan gritted, attempting to be respectful, "You know you can't have those, don't you?" Gohan pointed to the numerous pairs of bra's and panties stuffed half- hazardly into the man's pockets and down his shirt.  
  
  
  
Videl, who had been about to give the old pervert a piece of HER mind, felt her eyes widen, and fell silent. *Master Roshi—THE Master Roshi!?*  
  
  
  
Gohan continued to stare at the man menacingly as he slowly emptied out his pockets onto the grass. Master Roshi looked up expectantly at Gohan as he dropped the last bra onto the ground. Gohan glared. "All of it, Master Roshi."  
  
  
  
Tears welled up in the old man's eyes, but he reluctantly pulled a few more pairs of panties out of his gi, and under Gohan's watchful glare, removed a lacy white bra from his sock.  
  
  
  
Videl blushed furiously and snatched the bra out of his hand before it hit the ground.  
  
  
  
Gohan's eyes went wide as saucers. *Wow, I guess I didn't think about the fact that the boys would have stolen Videl's…::gulp::*  
  
  
  
Videl turned her glare from the bald, bruised pervert, to the now tomato- red Gohan, "Watch it GOHAN!"  
  
  
  
Gohan, if possible, grew even redder. If he continued blushing at this rate, he was likely to self-destruct.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks laughed and commented loudly to Yamcha, "I'll bet you ten zeni I know what he was thinking!"  
  
  
  
Yamcha grinned and joked, "Probably what I was thinking."  
  
  
  
Under the heat of Gohan's stare, Yamcha suddenly didn't find his comment NEARLY as funny anymore, "Heh, just kidding Gohan."  
  
  
  
Vegeta, who was still glaring at Roshi, was returned to his abnormally good humor by this exchange. "That isn't jealousy you're expressing, now is it brat?"  
  
  
  
Gohan's fingers twitched, and his hair flickered wildly from gold to black. The milling students had stopped to stare, hoping to get another display from Gohan. They wanted to know how he performed his 'tricks.'  
  
  
  
In the distance, Gohan heard Erasa and Sharpener cheering.  
  
  
  
"Woo hoo! Get 'im Gohan!" Erasa yelled.  
  
  
  
"Go dude! Go Saiyaman!" Sharpener hollered.  
  
  
  
Gohan felt his anger leave him with a hollow thud. Turning back to the Z- senshi, Gohan was unsurprised to find Master Roshi had flown the coop.  
  
  
  
Videl was staring after the old man in shock, as he spun away on a turtle shell. Arching an eyebrow, Videl turned, arms folded in a very Vegeta-like manner. "Okay Gohan. I think it's time for us to resume our conversation."  
  
  
  
As Gohan followed Videl back to their original picnic spot, a hangdog expression on his face, the rest of the Z-senshi stared after the couple in shock.  
  
  
  
Shaking his head, Goku turned to the amused Vegeta. "She reminds me so much of Chi-Chi, Vegeta. Do you really think Gohan's bonding with her?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta shot Goku a condescending look, "It's rather obvious Kakkarott. She reminds me of your screechy mate too—I almost pity the brat. For his sake, I hope she doesn't have a frying pan." Suddenly Vegeta seemed to remember Bulma, who had been standing there, ignored.  
  
  
  
Bulma hefted the frying pan in her hand with a smirk. Chi-Chi was right. A frying pan was the weapon of choice when fighting a man, but especially a Saiyan. It's primary use, cooking, distracted them long enough with thoughts of food for you to get in one good hit.  
  
  
  
Vegeta glanced warily at Bulma as she stroked her frying pan lovingly. *Crap, I can't believe she found out about our weakness against frying pans. Damn Kakkarott's harpy mate….*  
  
  
  
Bulma grinned to herself as she heard the echo of Vegeta's thought. Well, that just confirmed her information. Straight from the horses ass—err—mouth. With both Trunkses turning into mini-Vegeta's, Bulma needed a new weapon. It looked like she'd found it. Gesturing for Vegeta to follow, Bulma suppressed a gleeful grin as he meekly fell in line. She could get used to this.  
  
_________________________  
  
  
  
Gohan had just finished his explanations. He didn't know if Videl believed him, but by the look of shock decorating her face, he concluded with relief that he would probably be safe from being screamed at for at least another few minutes. She was in shock.  
  
  
  
Videl's mind was whirling. She absently noted Vegeta and Bulma returning to the picnic area, followed by Yamcha who was surrounded by a horde of autograph seekers. She still couldn't believe what Gohan had told her. *He's an alien! He's the Gold Fighter. He know's God, for--well--for GOD's sake! I can't believe I thought I had discovered all of his secrets when I found out he was Saiyaman!*  
  
  
  
Videl's eyes absently wandered over the people who Gohan called friends. There was Bulma Briefs. The woman stood grinning wickedly at her husband who seemed to be completely oblivious to her attentions—the only indication to the contrary was a slight twitch that seemed to have developed beneath his right eye.  
  
  
  
There was Piccolo—the green man. A Namekian, Gohan had told her. His sensei. He sat silently in the shade of a tree—you had to look very close to tell he was levitating a few inches above the ground.  
  
  
  
Gohan's father, Goku was STILL eating. This in itself was a shock to Videl's system. The man must have put away five picnic tables by himself already! Videl watched in amused amazement as Goku flicked a cracker at Vegeta, who turned on him with a growl. Vegeta's revenge was cut off abruptly as a BONG resounded across the grass, and Goku ran yelping away from the picnic tables, rubbing a nice bump where Bulma had struck him with her newly acquired frying pan.  
  
  
  
Glancing absently at Gohan, Videl mused that she would have to get one of those when she and Gohan got married. WHAT?! *Did I just think that? Did I actually think WHEN Gohan and I get married?!*  
  
  
  
Gohan looked up as the thought echoed through his head. He blushed, then paled several times rapidly.  
  
  
  
Krillin, who was lying on the grass with his head in 18's lap grinned evilly, seeing Gohan's discomfort. Wistfully, he wished he knew what had caused it so he could tease him, then sighed regretfully, and went back to making a clover necklace for his wife, who seemed dryly amused at his antics.  
  
  
  
Gohan tried to focus on anything but Videl, watching Tien pick at his lunch. *Did Videl just say, or think that she wanted to marry me? That wouldn't be such a bad thing…* he thought, involuntarily.  
  
  
  
Videl glanced up sharply at Gohan's thought, and found him staring directly at her.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks, and Chibi Trunks and Goten, who were now awake, and had been staring at the picnic table, wistfully, witnessed the long look the two exchanged. Mirai Trunks cleared his throat loudly. Everyone save Gohan and Videl looked his way. Mirai Trunks grinned and nodded to the enraptured duo who were busy staring at each other.  
  
  
  
Bulma sighed dreamily, and little pink hearts leapt to her eyes.  
  
  
  
Vegeta, Yamcha, Krillin and Mirai Trunks exchanged a devious look and slowly stood, walking up to surround the pair. Tien, seeing something more interesting than his lunch, joined in the fun, followed by Goku, who received a startled glance from Vegeta—Vegeta didn't know that Goku knew HOW to be evil.  
  
  
  
Goku grinned, and smiled back at his old rival. Like he'd ever miss an opportunity to tease Gohan like this.  
  
  
  
The six stalked ever closer to Gohan and Videl who were lost in each other's eyes. Chibi Trunks and Goten looked on gleefully—after all, it was Gohan's fault they were missing lunch.  
  
  
  
Seeing the group forming a circle, several students wandered over, thinking there might be a fight going on. Sharpener and Erasa crowded close, surprised to see the cause of the disturbance was Gohan and Videl.  
  
  
  
Nudging Sharpener in the ribs, Erasa whispered, "So, do you think they're really getting married?"  
  
  
  
Sharpener shrugged, "I don't know. After this day, I'd believe anything. Can you believe it? Gohan—the Great Saiyaman AND the Gold Fighter?!"  
  
  
  
As Sharpener and Erasa continued their conversation, a conversation that was being repeated through the whole crowd, a grinning Goku did the honors and reached out to nudge Gohan with his toe. "Oh, son?" Goku said innocently.  
  
  
  
Gohan jumped in shock, surprised to find himself surrounded, not only by his grinning friends, but by several dozen students as well. Blushing to the roots of his hair, Gohan turned his gaze away from Videl, trying to ignore the victorious laughter of his brother and Chibi Trunks in the background.  
  
  
  
Goku, still smiling innocently, asked, "What were you doing Gohan?"  
  
  
  
Fortunately, Gohan was once again saved by the bell. Grabbing up his backpack, Gohan laughed nervously, "Heh, well everyone—looks like it's time for class!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta was a little disappointed to have his fun interrupted, but got up to follow Gohan along with the others. He was sure there was more fun to come.  
  
  
  
He was right. Gohan came to the door of his history room, at a slight jog. Due to circumstances beyond his control (Chibi Trunks had asked Videl if she and Gohan had mated yet, and Videl had unsuccessfully tried to strangle the demi-saiyan, while Vegeta laughed his head off in the background) they were late.  
  
  
  
The the room was dark, and the door was locked. Gohan saw with trepidation that there was a note attached to the door of the room. The note read, "History is Canceled. Please report to the Gymnasium. There is a school assembly—we will be having a very special presentation. –Mr. Locke."  
  
  
  
Gohan felt the pit fall out of his stomach. "Special Presentation." Those words had an oddly ominous ring. They were already several minutes late, so Gohan took off down the hall, once again at a run. Glancing at Videl who jogged beside him, Gohan got the sick feeling that he remembered just where he'd heard the words "special presentation" today. If God hadn't been against him, Gohan would have prayed. Gohan's slapping footsteps rang through the hallway as he and his alien menagerie made their way towards the Gym.  
  
  
  
Gohan reflected ironically that if he was right, and he was in Hell, it would just figure that he would be heading straight towards the head demon himself. Mr. Satan.  
  
  
  
***SURPRISE! History's cancelled! Gotcha! R&R Please!*** 


	9. ITS NOT LIKE THAT!

Disclaimer—Just so you all know, my real name is…AKIRA TORIYAMA—which makes this disclaimer TOTALLY POINTLESS. Unless I'm lying of course…::scratches head thoughtfully:: heh heh. Umm, I don't own DB/Z/GT.  
  
  
  
A/N—Well, I have gotten several offers for my Veggie-chan, but no one could come up with a convincing Mirai. DemonDancing actually tried to trade me a GI Joe doll with purple feathers glued to his head—can you believe that?! Ok, just read what I wrote, and I have to admit, the humor's a bit, well, MORE than a bit juvenile—don't say I didn't warn you!  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Gohan rushed to a screeching, skidding halt, only to be run in to by Videl, followed quickly by Bulma, Vegeta, Mirai Trunks, Goku, Tien, Yamcha, Krillin, 18, Piccolo, Goten, and finally Chibi Trunks, who, being the last straw, sent them all tumbling over like a living, breathing line of dominos.  
  
  
  
The whole school, naturally, was there and as the assembly hadn't started yet, Gohan's spectacular entrance made for a very interesting—and amusing—distraction.  
  
  
  
As the bruised Z-senshi struggled to their feet, the crowd of kids and their parents hooted and tsked respectively as the bottom of the pile was revealed, and Videl and Gohan were the only ones left laying on the floor, tumbled in each other's arms.  
  
  
  
Gohan quickly jumped to his feet, knocking Videl gracelessly to her backside in the process, as he heard some of the suggestive murmurs coming from the crowd. The voice of one blonde bimbo, strident above the others, crowed excitedly "See, I TOLD you something was going on between then!"  
  
  
  
Gohan breathed calmly and deeply, and set about ignoring Erasa. He had bigger fish to fry right now. Glancing anxiously about the room, Gohan was INCREDIBLY relieved when his fear did not materialize. He didn't see hide nor hair of the "Savior of the World"—Mr. Satan.  
  
  
  
Gohan thanked one thing for going right that day, and lead his own personal mob of friends and family towards the nearest set of bleachers. As Gohan approached, the entire front row emptied as wary parents and teens scrambled to get out of their way.  
  
  
  
Piccolo arched an eyebrow and calmly took a seat, watching in amusement as Gohan's two yellow-haired human friends struggled against the flow of traffic, finally managing to join them at the bottom.  
  
  
  
Gohan looked warily at Sharpener and Erasa as they took a seat on the left hand side of him. Sharpener grinned a bit goofily, and Erasa batted her eyelashes, but didn't attempt any more stolen pinches.  
  
  
  
This was a good thing for Erasa, as Bulma sat on the opposite side of Mirai Trunks, who Vegeta had somehow managed to insert as a living shield between him and his mate.  
  
Bulma had pulled a lacy handkerchief out of nowhere, and was polishing her frying pan lovingly.  
  
  
  
Gohan glared in annoyance as Chibi Trunks and Goten pushed their way in between him and Videl to take a seat. The Chibi's, who were powered up to Super Saiyan as a cautionary measure, merely smirked cheekily back. Gohan grimaced. They'd been spending far too much time with Vegeta.  
  
  
  
Looking out across the room, Gohan found himself wondering what the heck was going on. There were several faculty members who all appeared to be milling aimlessly in the center of the room but other than that, there seemed to be absolutely no preparation for an assembly.  
  
  
  
Goku must have been wondering the same thing, as he reached over to poke Gohan from his position next to 18 and Krillin. "Hey, Gohan—what's up? I thought we were late."  
  
  
  
Gohan shrugged, "We were—I don't know what's going on—I guess their guest speaker must be late or something."  
  
  
  
Gohan turned back to the front of the room, only to see Videl staring curiously at him over the heads of the two chibi's who separated them. "Gohan," Videl began slowly, "I've been wanting to ask you something. They," she pointed to Chibi and Mirai Trunks, "both seem to be named Trunks, and they both seem to have the same parents—not to mention they look exactly alike. Would you care to explain that to me?"  
  
  
  
Gohan hesitated. The truth about Chibi and Mirai Trunks took him just a bit too close to the whole 'Cell' thing for his liking—somehow telling her he was half alien was a lot simpler than revealing her father as a lying cheat, "Umm…"  
  
  
  
Videl's eyes narrowed, "Don't tell me you have MORE secrets, Son Gohan!"  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks smirked, "You tell him, Son Videl!"  
  
  
  
Videl's eyes widened, and she and Gohan both turned their gazes on the snickering Mirai Trunks.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks shrugged, "Hey, it's so obvious—you sound just like my parents."  
  
  
  
Vegeta frowned a bit—he didn't like being compared to Kakkarott's brat, no matter how worthily-evil the cause.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks opened his mouth to continue, but instead let out a muffled yelp as Bulma's 'Almighty-Frying-Pan-Of-Terror™' descended on his head with all of the force that the blue-haired woman could muster.  
  
  
  
Bulma glared at her Mirai son. "Trunks! Leave Gohan alone." Gohan glanced gratefully at Bulma. Bulma continued, "Chi-Chi will kill me if you mess up her chance to get grandchildren!" Gohan's grateful glance turned into an annoyed scowl.  
  
  
  
Bulma giggled at the look, and then stopped abruptly, as if something had just occurred to her. Turning, she examined Mirai Trunks minutely. After several moments under her gaze, Mirai Trunks began to sweat, and his eyes grew wide—what was she thinking?  
  
  
  
Bulma grinned, and asked sweetly, "So, Trunks—just when am I going to be expecting grandchildren?"  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks blanched noticeably and fled to the other end of the bleachers near Piccolo, leaving Vegeta alone to deal with Bulma's tender mercies. This, of course, was exactly Bulma's intention. She was MUCH too young for grandchildren.  
  
  
  
Gohan smirked a bit as he saw Vegeta glare after his Mirai son with a look of betrayal as the boy abandoned him.  
  
  
  
Next to Vegeta, Bulma hummed softly and returned to polishing her frying pan as if nothing had happened.  
  
  
  
Vegeta sulked, and ran his hands nervously over his spandex. He was now on the front lines.  
  
  
  
Gohan snickered a bit. Finally, it was someone else's turn to be tortured!  
  
  
  
Poor Gohan. He'd spoken too soon.  
  
  
  
Videl yelped, and jumped up clutching her backside. She glared at the two Chibi's beside her, then at Gohan, who looked rather confused.  
  
  
  
Videl stomped down past several of the startled Z-fighters, to find herself face to face with Bulma. Videl smiled sweetly. "May I borrow that?" she asked, pointing at the frying pan Bulma was still polishing.  
  
  
  
With a raised eyebrow, Bulma handed over her prized possession, intrigued to see what Videl intended.  
  
  
  
Videl stomped back down the length of the bleachers, a menacing frown on her face.  
  
Goku cringed as she passed—frying pans had that effect on him.  
  
  
  
Before they knew what had hit them, Goten, Chibi Trunks, and Gohan were nursing large bumps on the back of their heads.  
  
  
  
The Chibi's merely shook it off—they'd been in Super Saiyan form after all, but Gohan stared up at Videl woundedly, "Hey, what did I do?!"  
  
  
  
Videl glared, "SOMEONE pinched my bottom!"  
  
  
  
The two chibi's made disgusted faces. Gohan turned bright red at the mention of Videl's bottom and stuttered vehement denials.  
  
  
  
From down the row, Vegeta smirked. "Brat, I didn't know you had it in you!"  
  
  
  
Unfortunately for our beloved Saiyan Prince, his beloved mate had just received her frying pan back from the fuming Videl.  
  
  
  
***KAAAAPOOOOW***  
  
  
  
Vegeta winced as his hair was smashed flat, and began to slowly creep back up, along with a rising goose egg. *Damn woman…*  
  
  
  
***KAAAAPOOOW***  
  
  
  
Bulma smiled sweetly. *Forgot I could hear your thoughts, didn't you Veggie-chan?*  
  
  
  
As Vegeta mumbled and grumbled, now nursing two bumps, Videl glared at Gohan. About to open her mouth to demand an explanation, Videl blinked, as a startled Erasa jumped up with a shriek, for once on the receiving end of a pinch.  
  
  
  
Videl looked at Gohan suspiciously, and Gohan waved his hands in a frantic denial, "Videl, I didn't do it, I swear! Look, I mean Erasa's all the way down there! How could I do it?!"  
  
  
  
Videl's answer was forestalled as another yelp of outrage rang out from down the bleacher. Glancing at Gohan, Videl nodded, and the two snuck around the side of the bleachers and underneath, where they encountered a very disturbing sight.  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Goku jumped as the bleacher beneath him began to shake. He glanced at Krillin, whose jaw was hanging open—confused, Goku cocked his head to listen to the yells that were coming from beneath them—it sounded like--- GOHAN AND VIDEL?!  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Gohan sat on Master Roshi as Videl tried to pry several filched undergarments from his grasp. Somehow the old pervert had managed to sneak back inside the school and steal some more underwear—not only that, HE'D been the one who'd pinched Videl!  
  
  
  
"Come on, Videl, you've almost got it," Gohan encouraged.  
  
  
  
"I just can't get the bra," Videl grunted, straining to pull the garment from the desperate perverts grasp.  
  
  
  
"Ahhhhhhh," Videl cried, tumbling backwards and slamming into the wall, clutching the liberated bra in her hand.  
  
  
  
"YES!" Gohan cried triumphantly, "you're great Videl—we make a great team!"  
  
  
  
Videl groaned, rubbing a swelling lump on her forehead courtesy of the rock wall she had just slammed into, "Ouch, that hurts!"  
  
  
  
Gohan shrugged, "You're the one who wanted to do this." Gohan had been planning on blasting Master Roshi and his panties into the next dimension.  
  
  
  
"AAAAHHHHH!" Videl screamed, as the beaten Master Roshi reached out for one last attempt on her backside.  
  
  
  
"VIDEL!" Gohan yelled, rushing to her aid, knocking the old man out cold.  
  
  
  
Videl stared contemplatively down at the now black and blue pervert, "You have any rope Gohan?"  
  
  
  
Gohan shook his head and shrugged, "Nope—we'll have to do that later."  
  
  
  
Videl and Gohan took one last glance at the pitiful excuse for a martial arts master laying passed out on the floor, and walked out from under the bleachers—and into complete silence.  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Gohan looked nervously at Videl as they returned to their seats in the stands. *I wonder what everyone's staring at us for? Do I have something on my face?*  
  
  
  
Videl heard his thought, but chose to ignore it—she was getting used to it. Sitting warily down, Videl fidgeted for several seconds, then finally snapped, turning to the little bald man who was leering at her knowingly, "WHAT?!"  
  
  
  
Krillin smirked, and turned away.  
  
  
  
Videl was getting annoyed—why was everyone being so quiet? Leaning over to Erasa, Videl whispered, "What's going on, Erasa?!" She was desperate—desperate enough to talk to Erasa willingly.  
  
  
  
Erasa slowly shook her head, her gaping mouth making her look, if possible, even blonder.  
  
  
  
Down the bleachers, Vegeta glanced cautiously at his wife. Bulma was sitting shocked, her mouth open as wide as Erasa's—best of all, Vegeta noted, her frying pan had fallen to the floor, unnoticed. "I'll tell you WHAT." Vegeta smirked, mimicking Videl's tone perfectly.  
  
  
  
Videl glared at him, unimpressed, "FINALLY! What is it?! What's WRONG with everyone?!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta glared, a bit annoyed that his attempt at intimidation hadn't worked, then smirked again, and mimicking Gohan and Videl's voices perfectly, repeated their conversation from beneath the bleachers.  
  
  
  
Gohan: "Come on, Videl, you've almost got it."  
  
Videl: "I just can't get the bra!…..AHHHHH!"  
  
Gohan: "YES! You're great Videl—we make a great team!"  
  
Videl: "Ouch, that hurts!"  
  
Gohan: "You're the one who wanted to do this."  
  
Videl: "AHHHHHHH!"  
  
Gohan: "VIDEL!"  
  
Videl: "You have any rope Gohan?"  
  
Gohan: "Nope—we'll just have to do that later."  
  
  
  
Vegeta raised an eyebrow as Gohan and Videl both turned pale, looked at each other, then turned bright red.  
  
  
  
The gymnasium broke out in a rumble of excited whispers, as Gohan and Videl leapt to explain, "It's not what it sounds like," Gohan yelped.  
  
  
  
Videl nodded urgently, "It was that pervert!"  
  
  
  
Goten frowned, "Don't call my brother a pervert!"  
  
  
  
Goku stood and smiled, pulling Videl into a hearty embrace, "Welcome to the family Videl!"  
  
  
  
Gohan, who had run to get Master Roshi to prove out his story, returned empty handed. The old man was gone.  
  
  
  
Gohan bit his trembling lip to keep from crying as Krillin winked, and Yamcha gave him a thumbs up. Today was just not his day.  
  
  
  
Sitting down on the bleachers next to Videl, Gohan tried to ignore the lascivious gestures of his classmates, and concentrate on the assembly—he wished there was something to concentrate ON. Apparently, whoever was speaking still wasn't there yet.  
  
  
  
Gohan's focus was completely stolen from his previous problem as a figure walked in the door. It was Cell.  
  
  
  
Gohan jumped up wide-eyed, and Vegeta let out a roar, standing and shoving Bulma behind him. It took only a moment to realize that this creature wasn't Cell—it was a person, in a Cell—COSTUME?!  
  
  
  
Gohan resumed his seat. He was glad that the guy had taken the focus off of him, but still shook his head in wonderment--*Why would anyone want to dress up like CELL?!*  
  
  
  
Videl, who was next to him, nodded her head in absent agreement to the thought, though she had a nagging premonition. *Please don't let this have anything to do with my dad,* Videl plead desperately. This day had been bad enough….what horrors could Hercule Satan introduce into the mix?  
  
____________________  
  
  
  
From his perch on Kami's lookout, Dende laughed. That last thought combined with a carload of broken down actors just made this situation TOO hilarious. Even HE hadn't foreseen THIS turn of events.  
  
  
  
Dende considered warning Gohan, then, remembering his friend's earlier death threats, Dende leaned back in his lounge chair and sipped at his Pina Colada. *Nah. I think I'll just wait and see what happens…*  
  
  
  
***I can just see Dende sipping that drink, with a little pink umbrella in it too! R&R Please!*** 


	10. So You Wanna Be In Pictures

Disclaimer—I do not now, nor have I ever owned DB/Z/GT.  
  
A/N—I am sitting here with my little kitty Tibet, typing this much anticipated chapter of Bring Your Father to School Day ::waits for applause:: ::smirk:: Tibet is currently playing with Veggie-chan's hair—did I mention Veggie likes kitties?  
  
Veggie-chan: "Leave me alone you flea-bitten mongrel before I blast you into oblivion!"  
  
Tibet: ::cocks head:: "Meow?"  
  
Frozenflower: "Heh heh, anyway, on with the story!"  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Gohan looked nervously at the costumed human walking across the floor towards him. From a distance, the man had looked like a very convincing Cell, but as he drew closer, it became clear that he more closely resembled an over-grown grasshopper. Apparently Vegeta thought so too, as he was guffawing loudly, not bothering to suppress his laughter.  
  
  
  
'Cell' looked at Vegeta warily as he approached the Z-senshi. Putting his hands on his hips, 'Cell' confronted Goku, and with a very un-Cell-like groan said, "Duuuuude! What are you guys DOING?! We were supposed to start this gig like HOURS ago!"  
  
  
  
Goku, very true to typical Goku form looked confused.  
  
  
  
'Cell' sighed again. "Dude, like we gotta get going now! This is TOTALLY big! I mean, like how many times is there a live reenactment of the Cell Games?!" The clueless 'Cell' continued, unable to sense the rocketing ki levels around him, "We're like, so lucky that Satan's daughter goes to this school man—I mean, we totally get to meet Mr. Satan!"  
  
  
  
At this point, all that kept Vegeta from killing 'Cell' was the frying pan in his wife's hand. Nothing, however, was restraining Gohan. Starting slowly from his seat, Gohan advanced on the guileless 'Cell' with murder in his eyes.  
  
  
  
"Gohan!"  
  
  
  
Gohan paused, considered for a moment, then sat meekly down beside Videl, the holder of his leash. Videl smirked at Bulma proudly—she had every right to—it wasn't just ANY girl that could control the most powerful being in the universe.  
  
  
  
Vegeta and Mirai Trunks each let out an evil laugh, and were each rewarded with another goose egg to decorate their heads.  
  
  
  
'Cell' looked cluelessly at this exchange then shrugged, "Dudes, whatever, but we gotta get in place—Mr. Satan can't make his entrance until we're all lined up!"  
  
  
  
Videl's joy at leashing Gohan was abruptly cut short. "My-my father's here?!" she squeaked, not having caught it the first time.  
  
  
  
'Cell's' eyes widened and he dropped worshipfully at Videl's feet, "Dude! You're VIDEL!" 'Cell' reached up, awe-filled, to touch Videl's hand, but was cut off by a low growl from Gohan. Quickly snatching his hand back, 'Cell' went about putting together his cast.  
  
  
  
"Ok," he said, pointing at the snickering Krillin, "You dude. You're one," 'Cell' glanced around at the others, quickly picking out Yamcha, Tien, and Mirai Trunks.  
  
  
  
'Cell's' gaze stopped on Vegeta who was glaring at 'Cell' balefully, practically BEGGING him to point that painted green finger his way. 'Cell' smiled a little nervously, and pointed at Vegeta. Vegeta smirked. He'd always wanted to kill Cell anyway—this would be almost as enjoyable as the real thing.  
  
  
  
An evil gleam filled Vegeta's eyes, and he reached out, already savoring the feel of the weakling's neck beneath his palm, and….. BAM  
  
  
  
Ouch. Vegeta learned the hard way what Bulma's place in the divine order of things was, and meekly took his place in line beside the others. Bulma caressed her frying pan lovingly—oh, it was so good to be evil—especially to those who deserved it!  
  
  
  
'Cell' looked sympathetically at Piccolo, "Dude, looks like we got the same makeup artist—boy did she go nuts on you though!"  
  
  
  
For a second, Gohan was afraid that Piccolo was going to whip out the old eye-lasers, but hearing his old student's pathetic whimper, Piccolo took a deep breath and joined Vegeta, Krillin, Yamcha, Mirai Trunks, and Tien in line.  
  
  
  
Gohan felt his heart pounding in his chest as 'Cell' approached Goku. He didn't want this 'presentation' to happen—there was no WAY he wanted his friends, ANY of them to do this, but what other excuse did he have? Maybe everyone would believe that he and his friends had just been practicing for this 'presentation,' today.  
  
  
  
*Yeah, that's it,* thought Gohan desperately, trying to ignore the wide- eyed stare Videl was sending his way.  
  
  
  
'Cell' approached Goku, "Dude, what's up with the hair? Didn't makeup do their job?"  
  
  
  
Goku blinked up at the green-skinned Cell-wannabe, "My hair? What's wrong with my hair?"  
  
  
  
'Cell' rolled his eyes, "Dude, it's supposed to be yellow! Don't you know ANYTHING about history?!"  
  
  
  
"Oh." Goku thought for a moment, then shrugged, "Ok."  
  
  
  
Gohan opened his mouth to shout, but it was too late. Goku was now a Super Saiyan.  
  
  
  
Vegeta rolled his eyes, and muttered something about third class baka's, and weak women with frying pans.  
  
  
  
BAM  
  
  
  
Vegeta shut up.  
  
  
  
'Cell' picked himself up off the floor, where Goku's power-up had thrown him and gawked, "DUDE!" *Maybe Mom was right,* Cell thought dazedly, *I should stop taking those shrooms before a gig* Cell shook it off, "Ok. Now which of you little dudes is playing the delivery boy," Cell asked, looking at Goten and Chibi Trunks, relieved that makeup had at least gotten THEIR hair right.  
  
  
  
Goten blinked cluelessly up at 'Cell,' and Gohan shot Chibi Trunks a pleading look. Chibi Trunks momentarily considered the mayhem that could be caused, sending Goten, a boy who thought lizards, if given enough attention, would eventually talk back to him, out to play Gohan. It had a deliciously evil flavor to it. On the other hand, Chibi Trunks could probably cause more mischief on purpose than Goten could cause on accident. Chibi Trunks shot Gohan a sweet smile and stepped forward to join the others in line.  
  
  
  
Gohan was relieved for a second—only a second. Then, remembering the events of earlier that day, he turned his head to see Chibi Trunks grinning evilly at him.  
  
  
  
This was bad.  
  
  
  
Gohan allowed his eyes to flicker green, and snarling ferally, went through the motions of a Kamehameha attack without gathering his ki. He shot his fake blast straight at Chibi-Trunks' head. Chibi Trunks paled a bit—he got the message.  
  
  
  
'Cell,' along with an annoyed, terrified, freaking-out Videl gazed at Gohan warily. "Oooookaaaaaay," said 'Cell,' backing away a bit.  
  
  
  
Bulma tapped Videl on the shoulder, and wordlessly handed over her frying pan. She had a feeling the girl would be needing it more than she would.  
  
  
  
As 'Cell' lead Mirai Trunks, Chibi Trunks, Vegeta, Goku, Tien, Yamcha, Piccolo, and Krillin out onto the floor, silence descended over the crowd. Finally, something was happening!  
  
  
  
'Cell' lead the others into a huddle, and Gohan, with his keen Saiyan ears, could unfortunately hear every word that was being said.  
  
  
  
"Ok dudes, you know how it goes—everyone's seen the reenactment tape right?" asked Cell.  
  
  
  
Gohan heard grunts of agreement—Goku's sounded amused—Vegeta's sounded just a bit deadly.  
  
  
  
Cell continued, "Well, that's just how we're going to play it. You," he said, pointing to Goku, "are going to fight with me. Then, once I win, Mr. Satan's going to come in and beat me, ok?"  
  
  
  
A low growl was coming from Vegeta's throat, but Goku nodded eagerly—this looked kinda fun!  
  
  
  
"Ok, here are your weapons," Cell continued, handing them neon yellow guns that shot out brightly colored ping pong balls, "they're neon colored 'cause we can't use explosions and stuff in the school—besides, no one's ever quite been able to figure out how those people did their tricks!"  
  
  
  
Krillin shot Yamcha a look then rolled his eyes, and went back to examining his toy gun—it was actually pretty neat—maybe he'd get Marron one…  
  
  
  
Gohan ground his teeth as the 'actors' finished their huddle, and followed 'Cell' up to the faculty members in the center of the room.  
  
  
  
'Cell' chatted for a moment with the principal, then went to stand alone in the center of the room, while the beaming principal whipped out a microphone. "Hello, testing…" a horrible scream erupted from the sound system, causing the Saiyans and Piccolo to clutch at their ears, which were just about bleeding at this point.  
  
  
  
Vegeta looked murderously at the oblivious administrator, but was stopped short by a glare from Bulma, not even needing her mighty pan to quell the proud prince this time. Vegeta fell back in line, and Bulma smirked. The principal continued, "We'd like to welcome you all to 'Bring a Parent to School Day' at Orange Star High School. In honor of your visit," Mr. Brown smiled simperingly at all of the tax payers in his audience, "we've planned several very special treats for you. This assembly will be the biggest treat of all. We are pleased and proud to announce that this afternoon, you will all be privileged to witness the very first live reenactment of the Cell Games, starring the great Mr. Satan himself!"  
  
  
  
There was a moment of stunned silence, and then squeals of delight rang out throughout the room. Mr. Satan? THE Mr. Satan?!  
  
  
  
"Satan, Satan, SATAN…" the cheer picked up around the room, and Videl and Gohan fidgeted uncomfortably in the stands, as they, Bulma, 18, Goten, and the disgusted Z-Actors, were the only ones who didn't join in. Gohan noted with some amusement, that 'Cell' was cheering as loud as (if not louder than) anyone else.  
  
  
  
Mr. Brown acknowledged the cheers, and waved a calming hand at the crowd, "And now, without further ado, I present to you, THE CELL GAMES!"  
  
  
  
'Cell' strutted to the center of the ring, looking for all the world like a peacock showing off his tail, "I am CELL," he boomed, "and I will destroy all of you d-" 'Cell' shut his mouth quickly, cutting off the 'dude' that had almost slipped out.  
  
  
  
As Gohan watched in horrified fascination, Goku took his cue, "I will defeat you Cell-Monster," said Goku, doing a very good job of mocking himself.  
  
  
  
Goku stepped forward, and sent a fake punch towards 'Cell.' Unfortunately, 'Cell' had decided to try and make it look real, and had stepped into Goku's punch.  
  
  
  
The little green actor/monster, formerly known as 'Cell' hit the bleachers with a sickening THUMP, cracking several of the supports that held them up.  
  
  
  
Goku put a hand to his head and laughed nervously, "Oops. Sorry—can we do that again?" he asked the woozy Cell-mock-up who was just now climbing to his feet.  
  
  
  
'Cell' stared at Goku in terror, and looked for a place to run. Chibi Trunks, seeing 'Cell' about to flee, decided to take action.  
  
  
  
Zipping around in front of 'Cell' with super-human speed, the floating Chibi grabbed hold of the front of the rubbery plastic costume, "NO! You can't leave! If you go, Gohan's going to kill me! You have to fight Goku so he can let you win and let Mr. Satan take the credit for it," Chibi Trunks exclaimed frantically. Apparently Goten was rubbing off a bit on Chibi Trunks as well, seeing as his face was completely clueless when he looked up at Gohan's outraged gasp.  
  
  
  
Erasa blinked at Gohan in confusion, "What did that kid mean, Gohan? Why would Mr. Satan have to 'take credit' for defeating Cell? He did defeat him, didn't he Gohan?"  
  
  
  
Mr. Satan, who was standing near the gymnasium entrance, heard the word "Gohan." That was his cue. Bursting through the doors, Mr. Satan let out a mighty roar, "FEAR NOT! Mr. Satan is here, and I will defeat you CELL!"  
  
  
  
Mr. Satan got not two steps in the door, when he saw Videl, his little baby, clutching at the shirt of some weak puny little brat who was staring at him in horror. Mr. Satan's eyes grew wide, "VIDEL! What are you doing with that boy—you know you're not—" Mr. Satan cut off, and his eyes grew even wider as he saw the blonde boy floating in the center of the room, clutching at 'Cell's' costume.  
  
  
  
Letting out a terrified shriek, Mr. Satan jumped in front of Videl, then, changing his mind, jumped behind her to hide.  
  
  
  
Videl was in a state of shock as she felt her father's trembling hands clutching at the back of her shirt, "Daddy, daddy what is it?!" Videl asked urgently.  
  
  
  
"It-it's THEM! The ones with the powers—the ones from the Cell games!" Mr. Satan yelped, still trying to hide. Looking at Chibi-Trunks, Mr. Satan grew more and more terrified thinking of this boy's horrific powers, "That kid—he's still the same age he was when he defeated Cell!" Mr. Satan said, pointing one trembling finger and Chibi Trunks.  
  
  
  
Videl's eyes widened. Her father hadn't beaten Cell?  
  
  
  
*Oh, shit,* Gohan thought resignedly, *There's no way Goten's going to keep his mouth shut—now everyone's going to know that I'm the one who beat Cell!*  
  
  
  
Videl's eyes widened to the same extent as her father's as she heard Gohan's thought. Just as predicted, Goten's innocent voice pipped up, "Hey! Trunks didn't beat Cell! Gohan did! He's my big brother," Goten chirruped proudly.  
  
  
  
A loud clang resounded throughout the room. Gohan clutched at his aching head painfully. "Gohan," Videl shrieked, just a tiny bit hysterical, "DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE FRICKING SECRETS YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME?!"  
  
  
  
Gohan shook his head. Maybe that last hit had finally jarred something loose, because Gohan chuckled insanely, and stood up. "Yes Videl, in fact I do!"  
  
  
  
Stomping to the center of the room, Gohan whirled on his schoolmates, and grinned up at them with wide, dialated eyes. "Hello everyone! You all know me as Son Gohan—but I have some secrets I'd like to tell you!"  
  
  
  
Goku looked at his son with worry, and the rest of the Z-senshi slowly backed away. Even Vegeta took a few steps backwards—Kakkarott's brat had clearly gone insane. Looking at his wild eyes and flushed face, Vegeta smirked a bit and decided he liked him better this way.  
  
  
  
Gohan's eyes glittered and he began speaking, his entire history spilling wildly from his lips, "Guess what everyone? I'M AN ALIEN! Well, half," he amended—Gohan always did like to tell the truth. "I've been into outer space! I'm so freaking powerful I could blow up this entire star system with no problem if I wanted to!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta grinned as Gohan powered up to Super Saiyan—he was beginning to wish the boy was his own.  
  
  
  
Gohan powered up further, and began juggling three small ki balls in his hands, "See? This is ki—it's not a trick." Gohan paused for a moment, then with unerring accuracy, tossed one of the small balls at Mr. Satan who had been slinking towards the door. Gohan cocked his head and floated over to the unconscious Mr. Satan.  
  
  
  
"Oh, no—Gohan, you killed him!" shouted Goku—he had no idea what was getting into his elder son.  
  
  
  
Vegeta grinned, and the Chibi's laughed—it made them happy, at least.  
  
  
  
Gohan shook his head and picked up the limp Mr. Satan by the back of his shirt. "Naw, he's not dead," he tilted up Mr. Satan's head so everyone could see the thin trails of smoke still coming off of the man's singed mustache. "He's just knocked out."  
  
  
  
Tossing Mr. Satan back to the floor, Gohan walked once more to the center of the room, shrugging off the calming hands of both his father and Krillin as he passed them.  
  
Grinning wildly up at the class, Gohan continued, "Guess what everybody? I killed Cell! Yup, that's right! ME! I also killed my dad in the process," Gohan shot a sad, if still crazed look at his father, then regained his wild smile, "It's alright though—he's alive again!"  
  
  
  
Gohan thought for a moment and tapped a finger to his head, "Secrets, secrets, let's see...hmm—OH! I know! Guess what?!" Gohan said, with the air of one who was about to reveal a great secret, "I LOVE VIDEL! Yup, that's right!" Gohan scooped Videl up from the bleachers, seemingly unfazed by the swinging frying pan she held tightly in her grip.  
  
  
  
At this news, both Vegeta and Mirai Trunks started laughing. Gohan set Videl to her feet, and calmly ki blasted the giggling father and son duo, sending them flying into Krillin and Yamcha, who were also laughing. Unfazed, Vegeta and Mirai Trunks continued laughing. After a moment of assessment to make sure that they weren't injured, Krillin and Yamcha also resumed their giggle fest.  
  
  
  
18 sat in the bleachers next to Bulma and Goten with an unreadable expression on her face. Bulma, however, was laughing uproariously—she found it incredibly amusing—after all, ki blasting friends and family through the walls was a common past time at Capsule Corporation.  
  
  
  
Gohan hummed happily, and threw a few more ki blasts at his friends who were still rolling around on the floor with laughter, before walking calmly over to his father, still holding Videl's hand.  
  
  
  
Goku would have been laughing himself had the situation not been so serious—to think, Goku had thought all of those years with Vegeta as a male role model hadn't done his son's any harm!  
  
  
  
Gohan cleared his throat, and looked at his father, "Hey, dad, I need you to zap me to Kami's lookout!"  
  
  
  
Goku was confused for a moment, the seeing the gleam of a plan in Gohan's eyes, he simply shrugged in agreement.  
  
  
  
Gohan turned cheerily on Vegeta, "Hey, Veggie-chan! Make sure no one leave alright?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta stopped laughing and scowled at the name, but nodded—this was one of the best days of his life, and if the brat wanted to prolong it, that was MORE than fine by him.  
  
  
  
Several of the students and teachers who had been inching towards the door stopped abruptly, and letting out little squeaks of terror, fled back to the bleachers as Vegeta turned his gaze on them and growled. Vegeta reveled in their fear a bit—his growl hadn't been this effective in years.  
  
  
  
Gohan smirked a little at the display, then letting go of Videl, turned back to his father, "Ok, let's go dad!"  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Gohan almost laughed aloud when he saw the half packed suitcases and hastily abandoned Pina Colada littering the deck of the lookout.  
  
  
  
With a gleeful snarl, he zeroed in on Dende's ki. *You're not getting away that easy, bud!*  
  
  
  
Dende jumped as a shadow fell across his doorway—he gone back to get his favorite issue of the weekly magazine, "Tricks, Jokes, and Pranks to Pull on Friends and Loved Ones."  
  
  
  
Dende gulped, *Maybe I should just have left it behind,* he thought nervously, looking up to see Gohan standing in the doorway.  
  
  
  
Gohan smirked wildly, "Hey there, Dende! Long time no see! I need you to come with me somewhere, ok bud?"  
  
  
  
Dende cleared his throat nervously, "Heh, sorry Gohan, uhh, lot going on down on earth today and all, I'm afraid I can't make it, heh heh…"  
  
  
  
Gohan's eyes hardened and his grin grew wilder, "Oh you're going to make it Dende—remember, I know where New Namek is—you're replaceable."  
  
  
  
Dende's eyes bulged, then he gulped and nodded. "Heh, I'm sure Mr. Popo can take over for a little while…"  
  
  
  
Gohan's eyes softened again, though his insane grin never faltered, "Good Dende. Good. You made the right choice my friend."  
  
  
  
Before the little God had a chance to say another word, he was pulled onto the deck of the lookout, and transported via-Goku back to Orange Star High School with Gohan.  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Excited gasps rang from the crowd, as Goku, Gohan and Dende appeared from thin air. Vegeta was slightly disappointed—he'd already had the pleasure of zapping two trouble making teens. Bulma had only stopped screeching at him when reassured by Piccolo that the boys, Martini Matt and Dustin the Drunkard, as they were known to their peers, were just a bit scorched around the edges.  
  
  
  
Gohan looked around as they reappeared in the gymnasium. On the floor, groaning at Piccolo's feet were two of the school trouble-makers—*It looks like Vegeta had himself a little barbecue,* Gohan thought in amusement. He'd never liked those two anyway.  
  
  
  
Turning back to look at the crowd, Gohan grabbed Dende in a friendly grasp around the shoulders. "Hi everyone, I'm back! I've brought someone for you to meet! Dende, these are my classmates," Dende gazed pityingly at the shaking horde of white-faced humans, "And class, this is Dende—Dende's earth's God!" Gohan finished cheerily.  
  
  
  
Dende smiled shakily under Gohan's grasp, "Heh, nice to meet you all…"  
  
  
  
Android 18 quirked an eyebrow as the two blond humans that were sitting down the bench from her gasped.  
  
  
  
"Gohan knows GOD?" Erasa gasped, weaving drunkenly.  
  
  
  
"Dude…." Sharpener sighed, hitting the floor next to Erasa, thinking how lovely the pretty lights were as he hit his head.  
  
  
  
Gohan grinned at the reaction as several hundred bodies hit the floor, and several hundred more stared at him with wide terrified eyes. Gohan gave Dende a hearty slap on the back, and continued, "Dende is now going to erase all of your memories so you will have no idea what has happened!" He continued cheerfully.  
  
  
  
Gohan felt a tidal rush of joy and contentment flooding his system. He looked at the room—unconscious students littered the floor. 'Cell,' lay groaning about 'bad trips' next to Mr. Satan whose moustache refused to stop smoldering. Most of the Z-senshi had relieved looks on their faces—most likely relieved that Gohan had a workable plan and wasn't really insane. Aside from the pale shaking masses huddled in the bleachers, the only ones that looked unsatisfied were Goten, who still looked hungry, Vegeta, Mirai Trunks, and Chibi Trunks who all looked slightly put out that Gohan really HADN'T come over to the dark side, and….Dende? Gohan was confused—why would Dende look upset?  
  
  
  
Gohan shot Dende a look that said, "What's up?"  
  
  
  
Dende gulped and in a small voice said, "I can't erase their memories Gohan."  
  
  
  
Gohan was still for several seconds. Not even the rustling of paper filled the gym—absolute silence. This silence was finally broken by a slight snicker from Vegeta.  
  
  
  
Gohan blinked twice, and after a long pause, yelped, "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!"  
  
  
  
***Ahh, I hope you liked it! Oww, my wrists hurt! I've been waiting to write this chapter, I hope it turned out up to your expectations! R&R Please!***  
  
  
  
*Advertizing* Read "Wishes for the Past" by Burenda. It's not a comedy, although it does have several VERY comedic parts! It's a great fic about Chibi-Trunks and Goten and how they travel into the past to meet Bardock! My summary doesn't do it justice, just check it out—best of all, this lady updates DAILY. LONG chapters too! 


	11. Exercise

Disclaimer—"I come to bury my claims to these characters, not to stake them. The evil that men do, lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones—so let it be with Veggie-chan…"  
  
Veggie-chan: "Hey! I'm not dead!"  
  
Frozenflower: "Shh—I'm just trying to think up something witty for the disclaimer!"  
  
Veggie-chan: "Oh." ::mollified::  
  
A/N—I had a few people ask me if that was the end, last chapter. NO! It's NOT! I have at least one or two more chapters planned to this fic, but we are drawing to a close here. ::sniffs sadly:: That's ok. I haven't worked on one of my fics in FOREVER so I guess I'll do that when this is over! Read on, dear friends, read on…  
  
______________________  
  
  
  
"What did you say Dende," Gohan repeated in a calm, deadly voice. Stalking carefully towards the trembling guardian of Earth, Gohan slowly stretched out his hands—he could almost feel the Namekian skin, slightly rubbery beneath his palms, when BONG  
  
  
  
Gohan looked woundedly at Videl, who was brandishing Bulma's frying pan, as if threatening another strike. "What did I do?"  
  
  
  
Videl glared at Gohan, "You're not allowed to kill your friends Gohan, especially if they're GOD!" she yelled.  
  
  
  
Gohan wilted for a moment, then froze at the sound of laughter. Turning in Vegeta's direction, his gaze locked on the chuckling prince. Taking a tiny step towards Vegeta, Gohan's slightly disconnected mind reasoned that since Vegeta wasn't God, he was fair game.  
  
  
  
BONG  
  
  
  
Apparently not. Gohan rubbed resentfully at his third frying pan bump of the day. If the military gave awards for frying pan inflicted wounds, Gohan wouldn't have room on his uniform for all of the decorations.  
  
  
  
Sinking slowly to his knees, Gohan's head drooped in despair—what was he going to do NOW?  
  
  
  
From his hiding place behind Videl, Dende gulped. The mischievous God had learned his lesson—don't mess with Super Saiyans—especially teenage hormone driven Super Saiyans. Clearing his throat, Dende ventured a solution, "Umm, Gohan—I can't PERSONALLY erase all of their minds, but maybe, the Dragonballs?"  
  
  
  
Gohan immediately brightened and stopped rocking back and forth, relieving all of his friends immensely. "D-dragonballs?" Gohan jumped to his feet and rushed at Dende. Videl held her frying pan at the ready, but Gohan merely swept his little green friend up in a hug, "Dende, Dende, you've saved me! You're the best God EVER!" Piccolo looked slightly put out at this comment—after all, he HAD been the previous God.  
  
  
  
A soft, choked silence filled the room at this sudden change of personality. Gohan was floating. Literally. Gohan flew happily to his father, and lead Goku in a jubilant dance around the room. All of the Z- senshi were victims of Gohan's joy as he kissed, hugged, and danced with the lot of them—Tien, Krillin & Yamcha merely looked amused, 18, Vegeta & Mirai Trunks looked distinctively otherwise. Chibi Trunks and Goten were just happy that Gohan hadn't decided to kill them yet.  
  
  
  
Finally returning to the ground, Gohan skipped happily over to his father. "Let's go dad!"  
  
  
  
Goku, who was holding down Vegeta, trying to keep him from killing Gohan for hugging him, looked a bit confused, "Go, ergh, where, ugh, Gohan," Goku grunted, finally capturing Vegeta in a headlock.  
  
  
  
Gohan smiled jubilantly, "To get the dragonballs!"  
  
  
  
"Oh," Goku laughed sheepishly, reaching up to rub his head, releasing Vegeta in the process.  
  
  
  
Gohan dodged as the Saiyan prince barreled past him, coming face to face with Bulma, who had somehow retrieved her frying pan from Videl.  
  
  
  
BANG  
  
  
  
Needless to say, Vegeta wasn't a problem anymore.  
  
  
  
Gohan was startled out of his amusement at Vegeta's pain, when he felt something latch onto his arm. Looking down, Gohan was surprised to see, "Videl?"  
  
  
  
Videl glared up at Gohan, supremely annoyed. Gesticulating wildly, she seemed to almost have a phantom frying pan in her hand, causing Gohan and Goku to duck and cower fearfully from her tirade. "Videl? Videl?!! Is that all you have to say to me SON GOHAN!?! I have some questions, and I'm NOT going to allow your dad to pull another 'Beam-Me-Up-Scotty' and help you get away. Oh, no Gohan. Wherever you go, I go."  
  
  
  
Gohan gulped and nodded meekly, "Yes Videl."  
  
  
  
From across the room, Vegeta snickered and was once again bashed for his efforts. Vegeta felt just a touch of pride as Mirai Trunks' laughter went unhindered. The boy was carrying on the family name.  
  
  
  
Behind Vegeta, gazing sadly at the dents in her frying pan, Bulma cleared her throat. "Umm, don't you guys need the Dragon Radar?"  
  
  
  
Videl looked puzzled, but Gohan and Goku laughed and rubbed the back of their heads with identical expressions of embarrassed realization. Gohan grinned, "Oh, yeah. Heh. Umm, just where exactly is it Bulma?"  
  
  
  
Bulma shook her head. "Too hard to explain. Take Chibi Trunks with you—he knows where it is."  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks grinned at Gohan evilly, completely forgetting his earlier terror, "If I hafta go, Goten gets to go too!" he replied, stubbornly.  
  
  
  
Gohan glared at Chibi Trunks balefully, causing the boy to gulp as he suddenly noticed that Gohan was still in Super Saiyan form. "Fine. You two can come," Gohan growled, "but remember, cause any trouble, and I mean ANY, and I'll lock you in the Gravity Room with Vegeta for a MONTH."  
  
  
  
Chibi Trunks and Goten paled. They'd be good. Vegeta also paled. A month locked in the GR with the two brats? Kakkarott's eldest brat definitely possessed the seed of true evil. Vegeta decided then and there that he would take it upon himself to nurture that seed in the future.  
  
  
  
Gohan, Goten, Chibi Trunks, And Videl looked expectantly at Goku. Goku grinned, and placed his fingers to his forehead…  
  
  
  
"WAIT!"  
  
  
  
Tien stepped forward, smiling shyly. "Uhh, I've got a Dragonball at my house Goku. Maybe I should come with you…"  
  
  
  
Goku looked confused for a moment, then shrugged. "Ok Tien." Cocking an eyebrow, he looked over the crowd of his friends, "Anyone else want to go?"  
  
  
  
Krillin stepped forward grinning sheepishly, "Actually Goku, we've got two Dragonballs at Kame House—maybe I should come too…" he said with a significant glance at Gohan and Videl. Roshi would be there, and it was his duty to save his master from the wrath of Gohan and Videl. Besides, he couldn't very well needle Gohan about his new GIRLFRIEND if he stayed here, now could he?  
  
  
  
Goku raised an eyebrow but nodded. He was certain he'd have to save his best friend from the murderous wrath of Gohan before their search was over.  
  
  
  
"Alright, everybody ready?" Goku looked around, and was about to depart, when Gohan put up a hand.  
  
  
  
Gohan looked over at the grumbling Saiyan Prince sitting at his wife's feet, "Uh, Vegeta? Would you mind making sure everyone stays here?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta got a thoughtful look on his face. "Fine. But after this is over, you do something for me."  
  
  
  
Gohan's eyebrows shot up, "Uhh, sure, what?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta's grin grew, grinch-like, across his face, "You train with me."  
  
  
  
Gohan looked confused, "Train? But I already train with my dad—you know that Vegeta!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta shook his head, "Not martial arts training, boy. Evilness training. You have potential brat—and if you want me to do this for you, you will train with me and my brats after this is all over."  
  
  
  
Chibi and Mirai Trunks looked positively ecstatic at the thought of evilness training with their father. Gohan shrugged. "Uhh, ok."  
  
  
  
Vegeta smiled happily. Operation Corruption of Kakkarott Brat #1 was now in progress.  
  
  
  
Goku looked somewhat warily at the evil gleam in Vegeta's eye. Vegeta looked like he was planning something. Then again, Goku mused, if he really thought he could turn Gohan to the darkside, perhaps that frying pan had inflicted more damage than he'd previously thought.  
  
  
  
Gohan was completely innocent and pure…Goku glanced at his first son, in Super Saiyan form with Videl hanging off his arm, and gulped. Gohan's eyes still flashed a bit from his earlier murder attempts and episodes of insanity. Innocent and pure, Goku reminded himself, innocent and pure.  
  
  
  
Putting his fingers to his forehead, Goku motioned for everyone to hold on, and transported them to their first destination.  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Goku, Gohan, Videl, Krillin, Tien, Chibi Trunks and Goten appeared in the middle of the Brief's living room at Capsule Corporation.  
  
  
  
"GAK!" Gohan yelled, quickly turning away from the elderly Briefs couple who were engaged in some 'extra-curricular' activities.  
  
  
  
Videl, who had been yanked around with Gohan, peeked curiously over her shoulder, "ERP!" Videl blushed eleven shades of pink, and spun away from the energetic couple, keeping her eyes fixed firmly on her shoes.  
  
  
  
Chibi-Trunks and Goten, still sensitive after their earlier sex-ed scare, let out little mewls of disgust, and ran off towards Bulma's lab, in search of the Dragon Radar.  
  
  
  
"Hey there Mrs. Briefs, Dr. Briefs," Goku chirped obliviously, "Sorry to interrupt, we're just here for the Dragon Radar, and then we'll be going."  
  
  
  
"That's….fine….oh! Goku…dear…" Mrs. Briefs panted, "Would…you….ahhh…like some…coffee?"  
  
  
  
Goku grinned, "Nah, I don't like coffee, thanks though."  
  
  
  
Bulma's mother wiped the hair from out of her eyes with her one free hand, "Some….teaaaaaahHHHHHH! Whew. Some tea then dear?" She finished.  
  
  
  
"No thanks," Goku smiled, gesturing to Chibi Trunks and Goten who had just run in carrying the Dragon Radar, each with one hand firmly covering their eyes. "We've got to be going."  
  
  
  
Mrs. Briefs looked curiously at the space their visitors had just occupied, then turned to her husband, "You up for another round, dear?"  
  
  
  
Dr. Briefs plucked at the skimpy leotard he wore. "I don't think so muffin," Dr. Briefs panted, "that Richard Simmons is just too much for me to handle," he grunted, switching off the television and walking upstairs towards the shower.  
  
  
  
Mrs. Briefs watched her retreating husband and shrugged. Looking down at her own skimpy leotard, she decided since she was properly attired, she'd go out for a nice, long, swim.  
  
___________________  
  
  
  
Videl looked at Gohan in embarrassment as they appeared on a small island, surrounded by brilliant blue sea. "Umm, Gohan—who were those people, and why weren't they wearing, well, MORE?!"  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed, thinking of the excessively generous view of Dr. Briefs he had just gotten, "Those are Bulma's parents. I'm afraid they're in the midst of some sort of fitness craze right now…"  
  
  
  
From the small house on the island, there came the sounds of vigorous exertion. Videl cocked an eyebrow, "Are the people who live here interested in fitness too?"  
  
  
  
Next to Goku, Krillin scowled, "That BETTER be all it is," he growled menacingly, stomping towards the house. Before Krillin got through the door, he was bowled over by a grinning blonde streak, "DAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
"Oof." Krillin smiled up at his little daughter, "Hello Marron, honey. Is uhh," Krillin glanced warily at Gohan and Videl, "Umm, is Oolong here?"  
  
  
  
Marron grinned sweetly up at her father, "Uh huh. Him and Master Roshi are watching aer-o-bics," she said, drawing out the word.  
  
  
  
Gohan and Videl's eyebrows shot down at the mention of Roshi. Krillin decided it was time for desperate measures. Placing Marron carefully out of the way, Krillin turned to the enraged duo stalking towards the house.  
  
  
  
"So, Gohan," Krillin said desperately, stalling for time, "when's the wedding?"  
  
  
  
Goku, who was halfway through the door, winced at the words. He hoped his friend survived his selfless act. Master Roshi really ought to appreciate Krillin more for his sacrifices.  
  
  
  
After several minutes of searching, Goku ran quickly from Kame House with a Dragonball in each hand to encounter a very interesting scene.  
  
  
  
Krillin was head down in the sand, closely resembling an ostrich, except he appeared to be stuck. Tien looked like he was torn between laughter, and wanting to help the short man out, while Chibi Trunks and Goten clung desperately to each other, laughing like there was no tomorrow.  
  
  
  
One more step out the door, Goku found out what was so amusing. Laying in the waves, soaked to the bone, were Gohan and Videl, kissing passionately.  
  
  
  
Walking quietly up to Tien, Goku nudged his friend in the ribs, "So, how did THIS happen?"  
  
  
  
Tien managed to contain himself long enough to provide an explanation, "They…they both went for Krillin at the same time, and he slipped on a rock and got stuck in the sand." Tien gasped still chuckling, "Those two lovebirds," he snickered, fingering Gohan and Videl, "Collided in mid-air, and hit the water—by the time the first wave was gone, they were already like that. I don't think they've come up for air yet," Tien commented amusedly.  
  
  
  
Goku cocked an eyebrow. If Gohan and Videl were bonding, then naturally they'd want to complete the bond….Goku's eyes widened and he turned a quite festive shade of red, *Oh no—they can't do THAT here!* he mentally yelped.  
  
  
  
Chi-Chi was startled from her afternoon exercises by her husband's thought. *Do what, where, Goku,* Chi-Chi questioned telepathically.  
  
  
  
Goku, who was now holding a dripping-wet and incredibly embarrassed teen from each hand shook his head. *Too hard to explain, Chi-Chi. I'll show you in a minute. Could you get the Dragonballs we collected out?*  
  
  
  
Chi-Chi was confused by her husband's cryptic reply, but merely shrugged and headed for the house. *Alright Son Goku, but you better tell me what's up soon,* she shot back through her bond.  
  
  
  
Goku grinned and placed concentrated on his wife's ki. *Don't worry Chi- Chi. All will be revealed shortly.*  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Chi-Chi almost dropped the three Dragonballs in surprise when Goku popped into her front yard, along with, Tien, Krillin, Chibi Trunks, Goten, Gohan and…who was the girl?  
  
  
  
Chi-Chi opened her mouth to ask that very question, when her sopping wet son helped the sopping wet girl to her feet with a sheepish grin.  
  
  
  
Chi-Chi's eyes widened, and her hands flew to her mouth. Before she could stop herself, she rushed up and embraced the two soaked teens and squealed, "Does this mean I'm expecting GRANDCHILDREN?!"  
  
  
  
Videl's eyes grew wide, and before she or Gohan had a chance to say a word, Krillin grinned evilly and answered for them, "It sure does Chi-Chi! Congratulations!"  
  
  
  
As Chi-Chi dragged Videl into the house for a change of clothing, and Goku tried to stop Gohan from killing Krillin, Chibi Trunks and Goten grinned evilly at each other. Whether they caused it, or it was someone else's doing, they were glad to see it.  
  
  
  
Glad to see mischief, evil, madness, whatever you choose to call it, running amok in the world.  
  
  
  
***::laughs madly:: what will happen next time? Will Gohan EVER catch a break? Remember how I said I wasn't bringing in Launch? Changed my mind! See it all next time, on As the Dragonball Turns….er….you know what I mean. R&R Please!*** 


	12. Evil Never Prospers

Disclaimer—I like tuna fish. I don't like onions. Therefore, I don't own DB/Z/GT! See the logical train of thought there?  
  
A/N—Ok, this chapter kinda take a weird turn, but heck, I FEEL WEIRD! Anyway, Ed, I DO read all of my reviews! I'm always happy to see them, and I NEED something to inflate my ego. With as nice as everyone has been being in my them, my ego's bigger than Veggie's!  
  
Veggie-chan: ::tied up in corner:: (mentally communicates to readers) *Help, she's gone mad—GET BULMA!*  
  
Frozenflower: ::cackles insanely:: "On with the story!"  
  
  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
After a long interrogation by Chi-Chi, our beloved Dragonball hunters left the little house in the 439 mountain district. Deciding to fly, as Instant Transmission might startle Tien's volatile wife, they set out at a good clip towards Tien's little house in the desert. After Goku and Krillin explained to the others about Launch's violent personality changes when she sneezed, no one complained about flying. After all, Launch wasn't a person you wanted to startle.  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, back at Orange Star High School…  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks sat warily. Unfortunately for our poor Mirai, Erasa had recovered from her faint, and her shock over the whole 'Gohan-knows-God' thing, and was now leering suggestively at him.  
  
  
  
Sharpener had woken up briefly, then, seeing Erasa, who had been perving on Vegeta, decided it was best to faint before he had to defend his new girlfriend from 'Deadly-Spandex-Man.'  
  
  
  
Trunks fidgeted nervously. 18 and Bulma thought it was amusing. Piccolo was meditating. Yamcha was ignoring him, trying to distract the crowd of teens by talking about his baseball career, and Vegeta was amused at this small torture being inflicted on his son. It wasn't personal or anything—Vegeta just enjoyed torture in general. Mirai Trunks found himself wishing that something, ANYTHING would happen, to get those hot blue eyes off his rear end. As Gohan had earlier learned, wishing for something, ANYTHING to happen, was definitely NOT a good idea.  
  
  
  
Dende, who was sitting across the room, looking as inconspicuous as a little green God CAN look in the middle of a high school gymnasium, suddenly smiled. It'd been several hours since Gohan and the others had left, and Dende was bored. Unfortunately for Mirai Trunks (and everyone else involved) Dende had a memory span similar to that of Chibi Trunks and Goten when it came to previous and future practical jokes. Oh, sure, he REMEMBERED the threats—they just didn't seem quite so important when he had a wonderful idea popping around inside of his head, trying to get out.  
  
  
  
Sadly, inevitably, REGRETABLY, Dende, had a WONDERFUL idea.  
  
  
  
Looking cautiously across the room, Dende reasoned that Trunks wouldn't try to kill him—he wasn't Gohan after all. Dende had of course forgotten that little lesson that he'd learned about 'teenage-hormone-driven-Saiyans.'  
  
  
  
Smirking, Dende twitched his fingers, and tangled the ropes of time.  
  
  
  
Mirai Trunks looked up in astonishment as—a TIME CAPSULE?!—landed in the middle of the Orange Star gymnasium. The top popped up, and out leapt—HIM?!  
  
  
  
New Mirai Trunks stared hungrily at the faces around him. Spotting Vegeta, he ran up to him, and collapsed, panting, at his feet. "I-I've come to warn you," New Mirai choked out as Old Mirai looked on in shock, "In three years time…"  
  
  
  
Vegeta cut his New Future son off with an abrupt gesture—how many of his future offspring were going to show up to visit him anyway?! Vegeta rolled his eyes, "Save it Brat—you must have come to the wrong time," He said gesturing to his Old Mirai son. "We defeated the androids almost ten years ago! Look—that version of you came to warn us about them," He said pointing at the astonished Old Mirai.  
  
  
  
New Mirai Trunks shook his head determinedly. "NO! That isn't what I was going to say! I'm from THIS timeline—at this point in time, my younger self should be out searching for the Dragonballs with Goten, Goku, and….HIM." New Mirai shuddered.  
  
  
  
"HIM?" Vegeta asked questioningly, elbowing Yamcha in the ribs as he crowded a little too close with Bulma and the others who were eager to hear what this newcomer had to say.  
  
  
  
New Mirai nodded solemnly. "Yes. HIM. In three years time, you will finish your Evilness Training of Son Gohan, father—and the evilest force the universe has ever known will come into being."  
  
  
  
Vegeta's eyes widened. On ONE hand, he was happy that Operation Corruption of Kakkarott Brat #1 would be a success—on the OTHER hand, that whole 'evilest force the universe has ever known' thing kind of miffed him. After all, HE, Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans was supposed to assume that role. Kakka-brat Numero Uno was merely a lackey in his grand design.  
  
  
  
New Mirai cleared his throat once again. "Living in my time is like living in a NIGHTMARE!" Old Mirai started a bit, then glared at New Mirai for stealing his words, "Always running, hiding. After, G-Gohan wished THEM back with the Dragonballs, we didn't have a chance! They're all gone! Vegeta, Krillin, Yamcha, Mirai Trunks, 18, Tien, even Yajirobe."  
  
  
  
Yamcha gulped. He couldn't believe it. Could Gohan really do something like this? GOHAN? Clearing his throat, Yamcha whispered, "Dead?"  
  
  
  
New Mirai shot him a look then shook his head. "No. Worse. Gohan, he—invented something. Something horrible. It turned you all into babies! Videl and my mother, Bulma, managed to escape with you to raise you in secret—you are the hope of the world, but right now, in MY time, none of you are over 8 years old! It's terrible," New Mirai finished despondedly.  
  
  
  
Vegeta looked up at this, horribly confused, and slightly offended at being turned into a baby, "Why the hell did the brat turn us into babies?"  
  
  
  
New Mirai Trunks glared bitterly at his father, "He said he was tired of you calling him 'Brat' all the time, so he decided to make EVERYONE brats."  
  
  
  
Piccolo cleared his throat. "What about me? Will I be turned into a baby as well?"  
  
  
  
New Mirai's eyes hardened. "No. You join Gohan in his campaign of terror across the universe."  
  
  
  
Piccolo was slightly shocked for a moment, then smiled. After all, the only reason he fought with the Z-senshi in the first place was Gohan—if Gohan decided to be evil, so would Piccolo.  
  
  
  
Vegeta shook himself out of his horror filled daze, "What about Kakkarott, and Kakkarott's second brat?"  
  
  
  
New Mirai shook his head sadly. "You corrupted Goten too, father. I believe you called it Operation Corruption of Kakkarott Brat #2. He's tearing a swath across the universe right behind his brother. And Goku, well, when his sons were unable to corrupt him, they couldn't find it in their hearts to kill him, and the 'Baby-Ray-O-Matic™' didn't work on him—he was already too childish. So, instead, they sent him to an All-You-Can-Eat Sushi Buffet." New Mirai's eyes grew sad, "He hasn't been seen since…"  
  
  
  
The Z-senshi stood in wide-eyed astonishment as they listened to New Mirai's explanation. Gohan? Galactic Overlord? They were knocked rudely out of their shock by a loud whirring noise, and a thump that sounded behind them. It was another Time Machine!  
  
  
  
New Mirai's eyes grew wide, "Oh, no—it's HIM—and he has THEM with him!" New Mirai crouched wearily into fighting stance, drawing his sword. He looked ready to die.  
  
  
  
The observing Yamcha blinked, several times, rapidly at the new ship. "Umm, is it just me, or has this day suddenly taken an INCREDIBLY freaky turn?"  
  
  
  
Dende suppressed an evil cackle at Yamcha's comment. This was going exactly as he had intended—not only did he get to show Vegeta what a bad idea evilness lessons were, but he found it really REALLY funny. And it was about to get even funnier.  
  
  
  
From out of the Time Ship, stepped Mirai Gohan. He looked exactly like old Gohan they all loved and teased, except for his cold, dead eyes. In his hand, he held three golden leashes. On the end of the leashes were Frieza, Cell, and a fat blobby pink thing that looked like an over-chewed wad of bubble gum.  
  
  
  
"He wished them back," Mirai Trunks said in a calm, chill whisper, "Frieza, Cell, Majin Buu—and now they're all his pets—his dogs of destruction."  
  
  
  
Vegeta blinked. He was quite happy to see Cell on a leash, and seeing Frieza on one made him ecstatic, but he had one question. Turning to his New Mirai son, Vegeta cocked an eyebrow, "What's a Majin Buu?"  
  
  
  
New Mirai shook his head, "Too hard to explain. Sufficed to say, it's extremely powerful, deadly, and strong. Buu is a thousand times stronger than Cell, a million times stronger than Frieza."  
  
  
  
At this comment, Buu looked a bit smug, while Cell pouted, and Frieza looked outraged.  
  
  
  
Mirai Gohan smirked and bowed mockingly in Vegeta's direction. "Sensei Vegeta. I have you to thank for all that I have become." Patting Frieza on the head, Mirai Gohan smirked insanely, "Thank you Prince Vegeta, for releasing the seed of evilness inside of me. As a proper expression of my thanks, I'm going to send you on an all expense paid vacation. To the next dimension!" He roared, laughing evilly.  
  
  
  
Frieza and Cell's tails perked up excitedly at this news. They hoped that they were the ones that got to kill him. Buu, unfortunately didn't HAVE a tail in this transformation, but still managed to perk some anyway—he wanted to kill Vegeta too.  
  
  
  
As Vegeta stared at the three perking super-villains, feelings of remorse for an act that he had not yet even committed flooded his system. Looking at the insane Gohan and his three chained hounds of destruction, Vegeta whispered into the horror filled silence, "What have I done?"  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, on the hunt for the Dragonballs…  
  
  
  
Videl ducked wildly as the crazy lady sneezed again. Sure enough, her hair once again popped blonde, and seemingly from out of nowhere, a machine gun was produced.  
  
  
  
Gohan stepped in front of Videl to shield her as Tien attempted to calm his enraged wife, "Honey, Launch, calm down! What's wrong?!"  
  
  
  
Launch brandished her gun menacingly in Goku's direction. Goku, who was busily eating the meat out of a coconut that Launch had happened to shoot open, looked up curiously, "Huh?"  
  
  
  
Launch glared and fired a few more rounds into Goku's chest, where they bounced off, causing him to drop the coconut as they hit. Goku giggled and scratched. That tickled!  
  
  
  
"HE," Launch yelled, "just asked me for my BALLS! He's a pervert, and he mistook me for a MAN! And he's going to die…" Launch stomped menacingly forward, stirring up the dust as her foot came into contact with the dry earth.  
  
  
  
"AAAAAAACHHOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
  
  
Suddenly, in the place of the screaming blonde banshee, there stood an innocent, blinking brunette.  
  
  
  
Tien took this opportunity, and ran inside of the house to fetch the Dragonball, muttering all the way something about needing to plant some grass and dust control.  
  
  
  
Videl looked from Launch, to Gohan, to Goku, who had picked up the coconut and resumed eating, then back to Gohan and sighed. Putting a finger to Gohan's lips, she forestalled his explanation. "I don't EVEN want to know Gohan," Videl said tiredly, "I don't even want to know."  
  
  
  
Kicking at the flattened bullets on the ground, Videl couldn't help but feels some half shocky amusement. "My boyfriend is Superman," she whispered.  
  
  
  
Although Krillin didn't hear the comment (he'd levitated out of range as soon as the bullets had started flying) Goten and Chibi Trunks sure did! Eyes widening, they looked at each other and exclaimed simultaneously, "Gohan has a girrrrrlllfriend!"  
  
  
  
Gohan looked at them consideringly for a moment, then ki blasted the laughing pair into Goku who caught them without even putting down his coconut.  
  
  
  
Gohan's reign of terror had begun.  
  
  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, back at Orange Star High School…  
  
  
  
Mirai Gohan had discovered the fake Cell, still groaning and promising never to do drugs again, on the floor. Next to him, he made an even MORE interesting discovery. The great, Mr. Satan.  
  
  
  
When Mr. Satan had originally taken credit for Gohan's accomplishment, Gohan hadn't felt too annoyed. He was more guilt-ridden and preoccupied with his father's death at the time. Now, however, after Vegeta's course on 'How to be Evil in 10 Simple Steps,' and after years of ruling over the universe with an iron fist, Mirai Gohan was just a bit more than pissed.  
  
  
  
Picking Mr. Satan up off of the floor by his smoking afro, Mirai Gohan chuckled cruelly as he suddenly had a wonderful idea. "There will be a tournament. If anyone can defeat my champions," he said gesturing to Cell, Frieza and Buu, who all flexed their muscles and posed, Ginyu force style, "then I will leave this universe alone and go back to terrorizing my own." New Mirai Trunks scowled. A lot of good that'd do HIM. Gohan continued, "First to face my challengers is the illustrious Hercule Satan! After all, he IS the World Champion," Gohan sneered, tossing the quivering champion into the center of the gym.  
  
  
  
Gohan considered carefully for a moment, then unsnapped the lead on his weakest hound's leash, letting Frieza free to stalk to the center of the gym.  
  
  
  
Frieza smirked down at the trembling, cowering Mr. Satan, who, from the smell and the spreading puddle, had done what all trembling cowards inevitably did, and wet his pants.  
  
  
  
Reaching out one finger, Frieza fully intended on ending the miserable life before him. He never got the chance. One loud yell and singeing blast from the sidelines, rendered the poor, lamentable Frieza, dead once again.  
  
  
  
Mirai Gohan looked up angrily at the smirking Vegeta who casually blew away a wisp of smoke from his outstretched fingers tips. "What did you do THAT for Vegeta?! And don't try to tell me it was to save that whimpering clown," he yelled, pointing at the now SEVERELY singed Mr. Satan, curled into a ball on the floor trying to put out the fire that now engulfed his afro.  
  
  
  
Vegeta grinned. "No—I've been wanting to kill Frieza for years now—it was personal," he explained casually, ignoring the trademark 'Vegeta-Death- Glare™' that Mirai Gohan was sending him. It didn't affect him—after all, he WAS it's originator.  
  
  
  
New Mirai Trunks was staring in astonishment at the powered up Vegeta. "You—You—You're a SUPER SAIYAN!?!?!?!"  
  
  
  
Vegeta blinked at his New future son, "And your point is, brat?"  
  
  
  
New Mirai shook his head, "Maybe our timelines are further apart than I'd originally thought—you see, in my time, Gohan was the only one who made it to Super Saiyan. The second strongest Saiyan in my time is Radditz, Gohan's uncle—just how strong ARE you guys?"  
  
  
  
Old Mirai Trunks exchanged a look with Vegeta and then powered up. Smiling, Yamcha and 18 joined their ranks, surrounding Mirai Gohan and his remaining monsters.  
  
  
  
Mirai Gohan blinked unhappily at the huge power levels surrounding him. Patting Cell on the head abstractedly, Gohan murmured, "I think we're in trouble, Cellie."  
  
  
  
Mirai Gohan got a bright idea. He was, after all, very smart, even though he now used it for evil rather than good. Pointing over the Z-senshi's shoulders, Mirai Gohan yelled, "Look! It's Android 17!"  
  
  
  
As the assembled Z-senshi spun gullibly around, Mirai Gohan laughed and pulled his 'Cellie and Buu' into his Time Machine. "Later, suckers," Mirai Gohan cacked, then, pulling down the canopy, disappeared in a flash of light.  
  
  
  
18 cocked an eyebrow, "Does that mean my brother's not here?"  
  
  
  
Vegeta smacked a fist into his hand, angry at the loss of an opportunity to fight, and New Mirai Trunks looked hopefully at the disgruntled Z-fighters, "Do you guys think I could stay and train with you?"  
  
  
  
Old Mirai Trunks sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sure, why not—there's already two of me, why not add another? Just watch out for—"  
  
  
  
BONG  
  
  
  
"Mom's frying pan," Old Mirai finished painfully, rubbing at the new bump on his head.  
  
  
  
Vegeta looked curiously at the grinning Bulma, "What did you hit the brat for, woman?"  
  
  
  
Bulma shrugged. "Stress relief."  
  
  
  
Vegeta nodded sagely. He understood the need.  
  
  
  
On the ground at their feet, Hercule was letting out little mewls of distress as his groping hands found that, indeed, most of his prized afro had been burned off.  
  
  
  
Yamcha shrugged and returned to lecturing the audience of students, parents and administrators. Well, audience was actually too generous a word, seeing as all but a handful were unconscious. Nevertheless, he continued lecturing.  
  
  
  
In the front row, oblivious to Yamcha, and everything else, sat Erasa. She didn't know how it was that there were suddenly two purple haired hunks for her to drool over, but she definitely wasn't complaining. From the mutters of the few conscious students around her, Erasa garnered that with Gohan appearing with Cell and the other two scary monsters, and then disappearing, no one seemed to care, or even notice that perfect-purple down there now seemed to have a twin. No one except Erasa that is.  
  
  
  
With two Mirai's and Vegeta there, and poor Sharpie rendered once again unconscious at the sight of Evil Mirai Gohan, Erasa had her hands full. Sighing happily, eyeing Vegeta's spandex, Erasa put her chin in her hands. Let the perving begin.  
  
  
  
Dende could barely hold back his laughter as Old and New Mirai fidgeted nervously under Erasa's hot gaze, and Vegeta sulked over not getting to fight Mirai Gohan, Cell, and the pink bubble-gum thing.  
  
  
  
Dende smirked. That's been fun. If Gohan didn't return soon, he'd just have to think of something else to do. Sometimes evil didn't pay—but then again, sometimes, it did….  
  
  
  
***Ok, kinda weird, I know! Hope you liked it though, R&R Please!***  
  
*Advertizing*--Read anything by ladymoonlight, but especially Trunks and Gotens Excellent Adventure, Trunks and Goten's Bogus Journey, and Happy Birthday Trunks! 


	13. The Punishment

Disclaimer—If you believe in infinite alternate universes, I could make the argument that I DO own DB/Z/GT. However, seeing as you (or your lawyers) are probably NOT a proponent of that theory, I think I'll just for safety's sake say that I don't own DB/Z/GT.  
  
A/N—Haha! See? This chapter ties the last chapter in with the story! It does! I swear! Anyway, this chapter was pure inspiration—if it sucks, don't blame me, blame my muse. ::pushes Veggie-chan out to receive any accolades and punishments thrown::  
  
Veggie-chan: ::gulp::  
  
________________  
  
  
  
Having escaped the wrath of the mighty Launch with no time to spare, our fearless Dragonball hunters found themselves facing yet another deadly danger.  
  
  
  
Gohan stared up at the tall castle nervously. "Are you SURE the last Dragonball's in there dad?"  
  
  
  
Goku looked at his son and shrugged. "Yup. It's in there alright Gohan."  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed. He'd known that this whole search had been proceeding much too easily.  
  
  
  
Videl cleared her throat and glared in annoyance at the motionless figures around her. "Well, let's get going!" she said, stomping determinedly towards the castle.  
  
  
  
As Gohan quickly followed, Krillin nudged him in the ribs, "Your girl sure is a feisty one, Gohan!"  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed and clenched his fists, resisting the urge to strangle Krillin. It just--wasn't--worth it.  
  
  
  
Trunks and Goten looked happily at each other and split off unnoticed from the main party. Castles meant people, and people meant food—and boy were they ever hungry!  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Goten stepped cautiously over the pots and other cooking implements that Trunks had just knocked to the floor, not wanting to cause even more of a ruckus.  
  
  
  
Trunks sat sullenly, nursing a large goose egg that was forming on his head. In one hand, he held a large, delicious looking loaf of bread, in the other hand, he held a familiar looking frying pan that had fallen down and attacked his poor tender head as soon as he had reached for the loaf of bread.  
  
  
  
Poor Trunks. Run, run as fast as you can—you'll never escape—THE ALMIGHTY FRYING PAN!  
  
  
  
Shaking off the pain, Trunks gulped down his loot, and set the frying pan on the counter intent on his search for more edibles. Pizza—ham—oranges—ice cream—any of it, all of it. He needed more food. FOOD….  
  
  
  
Goten, who was quite coincidentally rummaging in a cupboard below the counter, stood up quickly as he found a large bag of sugar, and had an encounter of his own with the deadly frying pan. Goten's head was just a bit denser than Trunks' however, due to frequent home encounters with deadly frying pans, and Goten managed to claim victory in his battle. The bent and broken frying pan fell sullenly to the floor, defeated by the mighty swipe of Goten's head.  
  
  
  
As he gorged on fruits and vegetables found in the bottom a refrigerator, Trunks looked up in surprise at a slightly insane giggle from across the room. There was Goten, halfway through his third bag of sugar. Trunks grinned and joined him, grabbing a bag from the large pile that was stacked next to the giggling demi-saiyan.  
  
  
  
As he finished off his third bag, Goten jerked involuntarily and powered up to Super Saiyan. Laughing at this trick, Goten zoomed madly about the kitchen knocking spatulas and rolling pins into what could only be described as a haphazard imitation of modern art. "Look Trunks, LOOK!" Goten yelped, bouncing repeatedly off the ceiling, "I'm a SUGAR SAIYAN!"  
  
  
  
Trunks, who had by this time consumed three bags of his own, thought his old buddy Goten had never said anything funnier. Powering up to Super Saiyan, Trunks joined Goten on his rampage, giggling madly and singing, "Su- gar Saiyan, Su-gar Saiyan."  
  
  
  
Attracted by the racket the Chibi's caused as they destroyed his kitchen, the master of the castle burst into the pantry door glaring mightily.  
  
  
  
Trunks and Goten froze, and so they should have—for there, in all his glory, stood the mighty Emperor Pilaf, clutching the two star Dragonball.  
  
  
  
Pilaf glared at the intruders and gave voice to his rage, "Just who are you, and what do you think you're doing?!"  
  
  
  
Trunks and Goten just stared happily at him, the sounds of their sugar- induced panting echoing through the silent room.  
  
  
  
Pilaf paled in mid-glare. That boy—he looked like—no, it couldn't be—this boy was BLONDE, after all. Clearing his throat, Pilaf did his best to maintain his glare. "What's your name, boy," he sneered haughtily at Goten, "it's not Goku, is it?"  
  
  
  
Goten grinned and shook his head. The diminutive blue emperor had only a moment's relief however, as the buzzing seven-year-old nudged his buddy in the ribs. "Nope, that's my dad," Goten grinned, then he and Trunks, pounced on the blue man and his Dragonball. The startled little dictator never even saw it coming.  
  
________________  
  
  
  
"Videl, it might be dangerous!" Gohan protested.  
  
  
  
Videl met him glare for glare, and then some, static literally crackling between them, so great was her annoyance. "Don't EVEN try to pull that on me Son Gohan! I work for the police! I fight criminals everyday! You think that's not dangerous!?!"  
  
  
  
"But that's different," Gohan protested once again. About to continue, he was abruptly cut off as the castle in question promptly exploded.  
  
  
  
Goku blinked at the blinding light that had replaced the stone edifice and shrugged. "Well, I guess that solves THAT argument."  
  
  
  
Krillin, who had been busily thinking up new things to tease Gohan about, shielded his eyes as two blinding yellow dots, one a bit obscured by whatever it was carrying, approached from the distance. "Umm, guys?" He asked, just realizing something they had all missed in their distraction. "Where are the kids?"  
  
  
  
Goku tilted his head to the side, Gohan and Videl stopped arguing, and all three of Tien's eyes blinked in surprise. Turning their attention to the two whirling little golden lights in the sky, they all watched as Trunks and Goten came in for a landing.  
  
  
  
"DADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY WE WENT TO FIND SOME FOOD AND WE FOUND THIS GUY AND HE HAD A DRAGONBALL AND WE BEAT HIM UP AND WE GOT THE DRAGONBALL AND WE ACCIDENTALLY BLEW UP THE CASTLE!" Goten said in one breath.  
  
  
  
Goku blinked. "Umm, what?" Goten took another deep breath, completely prepared to repeat the sentence, but Goku waved a hand to stop him. "Never mind Goten. I think I got it. Let me get this straight, you two snuck off to look for some food and you found someone with the Dragonball we're looking for. So you beat him up and took it from him? And then you blew up the castle?"  
  
  
  
Trunks and Goten nodded excitedly, "YESYESYES!"  
  
  
  
Trunks tossed his burden to the ground, and it resolved into three VERY charred and unhappy looking people. One looked like some sort of fox. The next was an older lady, though still attractive, with long black hair. And the third… "Emperor Pilaf!" Goku exclaimed happily, "What are YOU doing here?!"  
  
  
  
Emperor Pilaf took one look at the grinning Goku and yelped. With Shao and Mai not far behind him, Pilaf took off into the distance, never to be seen again. Hopefully.  
  
  
  
Looking at the bouncing, cackling young Super Saiyans in front of him, who were now playing an energetic game of catch with the last Dragonball, Krillin gulped and asked a question. He knew from the start he probably shouldn't ask, but he did anyway, "Umm, Trunks, Goten, what exactly did you eat that gave you all of this—uhh—energy?"  
  
  
  
Trunks and Goten glanced at each other, then exclaimed, "SUGARSUGARSUGARSUGARSUGAR!"  
  
  
  
Krillin paled and gulped. "Just exactly how much sugar?"  
  
  
  
Goten was in the process of trying to see just how high he could jump, so it was up to Trunks to answer. "Oh, not much. Just three or four bags."  
  
  
  
"Yeah," said Goten as he returned to the ground.  
  
  
  
"Just…" BOUNCE  
  
  
  
"Three…" BOING  
  
  
  
"Ten…" BOUNCE  
  
  
  
"Pound…" BOING  
  
  
  
"Bags…." BOUNCE  
  
  
  
"Each!" He finished, getting in half a dozen incredible jumps, and a word in each time he returned to earth.  
  
  
  
"Great," Krillin moaned, watching dazedly as Trunks joined Goten in his jumping contest. "Just what we need—two hyped up Super Saiyans."  
  
  
  
"Not Super Saiyans," Goten shrieked with glee as they hit the ground again.  
  
  
  
"SUGAR SAIYANS!" Trunks finished for him, kicking off against the ground once more, rejoining his friend in the upper atmosphere.  
  
  
  
As Krillin was overcome with terrifying thoughts of the havoc two pint- sized Super Saiyans on a sugar-high could wreak, a laugh sounded behind him.  
  
  
  
"Don't worry Krillin," Goku said calmingly, watching his second son land and bound back up again, followed quickly by Chibi Trunks, "We can use the second wish from Shenlong and wish them back to normal."  
  
  
  
Gohan, who had been standing next to Videl in awe-filled shock at the horrible sugar-induced energy that the two kids were exhibiting, nodded firmly. Stepping forward, he dumped the six Dragonballs they had gathered onto the ground next to the one that the Chibi's had obtained. Looking from his father, to Tien, to Krillin, and finally to Videl, Gohan nodded once again. Raising his hands, he called out in a loud, clear voice, "Come forth Shenlong, and grant my wishes!"  
  
  
  
In a flash of golden light the eternal dragon whipped forth into the blackening sky. Trunks and Goten, who were caught in mid-bounce, grinned to see the snake like form blocking the sky. Looking at each other, the hyped up hoppers flashed the victory sign. This was going to be SOOO cool!  
  
  
  
Sneaking up behind Shenlong, they prepared to pounce. They'd always wanted a pet dragon after all. In their slightly, well more than slightly, delusional sugar-induced state, Shenlong seemed a perfectly rational and reasonable specimen.  
  
  
  
Gohan's head jerked up, horrified, to hear wild war whoops and his eyes widened as two clinging yellow forms appeared, clutching Shenlong's back and laughing wildly as the dragon flicked his coils in irritation.  
  
  
  
Shenlong glared down at Gohan with something that could only be described as annoyance, ignoring the clinging burrs determined to make him their pet. "State your wish," the dragon rumbled.  
  
  
  
Gohan nodded and cleared his throat. He had to make his wish before someone was killed. He didn't know who appeared to be winning—the kids or the dragon—but one thing was for certain—he wasn't about to wait for the outcome. Clearing his throat, Gohan looked up into Shenlong's red eyes and stated firmly, "I wish…"  
  
_______________  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, back at Orange Star High School…  
  
  
  
Dende hummed happily. It'd been an hour since the whole 'Evil-Mirai-Gohan' incident, and while a good portion of the students and parents were still out cold, several had awoken, and were clinging rather desperately to Yamcha's words, eager for ANYTHING normal in this day of insanity.  
  
  
  
Dende rather thought that Piccolo, and perhaps Vegeta as well, had figured out that Mirai Gohan's visit had been his doing—he'd gathered due to the fact that the former was staring at him disapprovingly, and the latter was fixing him with an 'Evil-Vegeta-Death-Glare™' for sticking him with another brat. Not that Vegeta really minded of course. It was just the principle of the thing.  
  
  
  
Dende stifled a giggle. Bulma and 18 were guarding the Mirai Trunks' from a growing horde of teenage girls who had not only awakened, but had apparently decided that the whole day was just one big dream, and were now out for some Mirai booty, seeing as he was just a figment of their imaginations and all.  
  
  
  
Dende chuckled internally once again and considered whether or not he should lend the Mirai's a hand. The helping hand would, of course, be in the form of something incredibly amusing to Dende. Of course.  
  
  
  
Smiling, Dende considered what fun it would be to bring Vegeta here from the past. Maybe from just about the time when he had first landed on Earth and was fighting Goku. Dende grinned evilly, and was just about to carry out his fiendish plan, when a blue horned figure popped into being in front of him.  
  
  
  
The demon cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. Glancing down at his list, the demon looked up at Earth's startled Kami and said, "Dende- sama I presume?"  
  
  
  
Dende gulped and nodded minutely. A messenger from Otherworld was never good news. "Uhh, yeah. That's me."  
  
  
  
The blue demon nodded and pulled a crisp white envelope out of his vest pocket. "Message from King Yemma. Please read and acknowledge."  
  
  
  
Dende slowly reached out and took the envelope, opening it, and smoothing out the paper inside. Reading the message, Dende pouted. No fair!  
  
  
  
  
  
To: The Kami of Earth, Dende-sama  
  
Dende-sama:  
  
This is a letter to inform you, that due to violations of the time-space- disruption-code part 11, paragraph 3, subsection 4C, your Kami powers have been revoked for a period of thirty days. Earth will be without a Kami for this period of time, as all powers and privileges pertaining to the office have been suspended. Good behavior will be taken into consideration, and you will be reevaluated in approximately 13 days 23 hours and 59 minutes. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. Your period of suspension begins now.  
  
Signed,  
  
Bureau of Assigned Demons Guarding Otherworldly Domains (BADGOD)  
  
P.S.—You screwed up again kid—knock it off with the stupid practical jokes!—King Yemma.  
  
  
  
Dende bit his lower lip and crumpled the paper in his fist. Not again! As the blue demon popped back to Otherworld, Dende interrupted his pouting long enough to reflect amusedly that the blue demon had managed to carry out his plan for him. The two formerly besieged Mirai's were now surrounded by a pile of unconscious bodies, and looking distinctively relieved. The unconscious Erasa had the place of honor, with one hand on the shaken New Mirai's foot. Even unconscious, she was smiling.  
  
________________  
  
  
  
"I wish…" Gohan never got a chance to complete his wish. With a blink of surprise, Shenlong flickered out, dumping the hyped up Goten and Trunks unceremoniously to the ground.  
  
  
  
Groaning, Goten rubbed his head, and reached down to pick up the thing that had struck him. It was a perfectly round, grey stone. On the ground beside it, sat six other stones, each perfectly round and of the same size.  
  
  
  
"What is it?" asked Goten, shaking the stone next to his ear, hoping, perhaps, it was something good to eat.  
  
  
  
Goku shook his head at his youngest son. "Trouble Goten. Something's happened to the Dragonballs. Somehow, they've become inactive."  
  
  
  
Sinking to his knees, Gohan sobbed in despair. "No…"  
  
  
  
Not normally a sobber, Gohan felt he had plenty of reason to sob. Not only had his whole school discovered his secret identity as Saiyaman, but they also knew he was an alien! Not only had he confessed his love for Videl in front of them, but he had, admittedly a bit insanely, kicked the World Champion, Mr. Satan's butt with ease. As if that weren't enough, he'd asked THE BULMA BRIEFS' husband to hold his whole school hostage in the school gymnasium until he'd straightened things out—in return for this, he'd promised to take evilness lessons from the man. If THAT weren't enough, he now had to return to his school with two hyper little Super—looking at the now madly sparring Chibi Trunks and Goten he shook his head and corrected himself, no SUGAR Saiyans, and try to straighten everything out—without the help of the Dragonballs.  
  
  
  
It was times like these, Gohan SERIOUSLY wished he wasn't bulletproof. *A nice bullet could solve all of my problems about now* Gohan thought morbidly.  
  
  
  
*Don't you say that, Gohan,* Videl thought angrily at him.  
  
  
  
*Yeah, what about your girlfriend—Videl?!* replied his Inner Krillin just as heatedly.  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed. Between Videl and his Inner Krillin, even his thoughts weren't a secret anymore. There were no more secrets.  
  
  
  
***Dende finally got his comeuppance! Unfortunately for poor Gohan, it came at JUST the wrong time! What will poor Gohan do now? R&R Please!***  
  
  
  
*Advertizing*—Read 'Bad Combination' by spacegurl01—this fic only has three chapters up so far, but can you just imagine the hilarity that could result from having DBZ characters—all from different points in the timeline—thrust into a room together? I don't do this fic justice, it's got a great beginning and I'm sure it's going places! Storyid=708949. 


	14. All Good Things...

Disclaimer—Ok, who want's to see Veggie in a dress? Wait, I'm supposed to be doing the disclaimer, aren't I? Oh well, I don't own DB/Z/GT!  
  
A/N—I would like to thank all of my reviewers—I really appreciate everyone's comments, and I know I don't say it enough, but I'm REALLY REALLY thankful that you all take the time to review my writing. It means a lot to me.  
  
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Gohan walked wearily into the Orange Star High School gymnasium. The trip back had been nothing less than one big, unmitigated disaster. Not only did they manage to lose two of the now inactive Dragonballs, but Goten and Chibi Trunks had been knocked out and were now slung unconscious over Goku's shoulders. It was really all their fault—Gohan had warned them that Goku was a Saiyan, not a Pokemon, but in their sugar-heightened cartoon- confused reality, all they could see standing before them was a big, orange Pikachu, ready for capture.  
  
  
  
That, of course, had been how they had lost the Dragonballs, which the boys had managed to mistake for Pokeballs. After the second indestructible stone, thrown with Super Saiyan strength, had hit Goku in the head, the poor beleaguered man had knocked them unconscious in the interest of self- preservation.  
  
  
  
Gohan looked around the high school gymnasium, surprised to find it still intact, though a bit tattered. Aside from several singe marks on the floor, and a section of bleachers that appeared to have been blasted, it was in pretty good shape.  
  
  
  
Gohan looked around at the people sitting in the remaining bleachers, a bit surprised that they too, appeared to be in pretty good shape. Well, sure, most of them were snoring and drooling on each other due to the late hour, and there was still the occasional white-faced shivering figure indicating someone scarred for life, but all in all, they were intact, and not bleeding, which was really more than he had hoped for.  
  
  
  
In the center of the gymnasium, Gohan spotted his friends and motioned for his father and the others to follow as he started towards them.  
  
  
  
Vegeta was sitting back to back with his Mirai son; both had their arms crossed and the same expression of boredom etched across their faces—they looked like a mirror, despite the differences in coloration.  
  
  
  
Bulma lay with her head in Vegeta's lap, snoring softly. A slightly darker patch of spandex indicated that she was drooling, but Vegeta was either ignoring it, or hadn't noticed. Gohan noted with relief that her frying pan was nowhere in sight.  
  
  
  
A few feet away in a distinctly ODD mirror of Vegeta and Bulma, sat Yamcha and Piccolo. Piccolo looked to be meditating, and Yamcha had fallen asleep, his head somehow resting in the elder Namek's lap. Mentally, Gohan shrugged—he'd done it a time or two too—Piccolo made an excellent pillow.  
  
  
  
18 was missing, she'd probably left to relieve Master Roshi of baby-sitting duty, and so the last Z-warrior decorating the floor was God himself, Dende, curled into a sullen little ball a few feet from Piccolo and Yamcha.  
  
  
  
Gohan stopped a few feet in front of Vegeta who looked at him in annoyance but didn't say anything. Gohan shrugged, "Sorry I'm late, Vegeta, but something happened to the Dragonballs just as we were about to use them—you got any idea what that might have been?"  
  
  
  
At the sound of Gohan's voice, there was a distinctive yelp from behind the blockade that the combined forms of Bulma, Vegeta and Mirai Trunks formed. In a purple and blue blur, out surged—MIRAI TRUNKS?!—with sword in hand, ready for battle.  
  
  
  
New Mirai held his sword at ready, and charged at the startled teen, "AAARGH! I'll kill you someday Son Gohan! I'll make you pay for everything you've done!"  
  
  
  
Gohan quickly dodged, and, flaring up to Super Saiyan, grabbed New Mirai's sword. "Umm, Trunks—what are you talking about?" Gohan asked in a voiced that tried to be patient, but came off more exasperated.  
  
  
  
Vegeta snorted, annoyed to see his son, even from an alternate timeline, defeated by a product of Kakkarott so easily, "Knock it off boy," Vegeta growled at New Mirai, "This is the Gohan from our time. Oh, and by the way," Vegeta added seemingly as an afterthought, "those evilness lessons you agreed to are canceled."  
  
  
  
Gohan scratched his head in confusion—Vegeta didn't even want to TRY to corrupt him? Gohan shrugged—it didn't matter to him—it wouldn't have worked anyway—not in a thousand years. "Ok, Vegeta—whatever you say."  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked. HE would be the evilest force the universe had ever known. Spotting Goku, Vegeta once again belied his evilness by showing concern for his son. "Kakkarott! Why the hell is my brat unconscious?!"  
  
  
  
Goku laughed and scratched his head, carefully lowering the unconscious Trunks and Goten to the floor. The fact that they were still in Super Saiyan even while unconscious showed the extreme nature of their sugar high. "Heh, sorry Vegeta—they got a hold of a couple bags of sugar each and, well…"  
  
  
  
Vegeta nodded in understanding. The last time the brats had had sugar they had targeted him as some kind of a—Squirtle or something—what the hell was a Squirtle anyway?!  
  
  
  
Due to Gohan's extremely long day, he didn't register the fact that instead of two, one Chibi and one Mirai, there were now THREE Trunks', until Videl pointed it out.  
  
  
  
"Uhh, Gohan—are there supposed to be three Trunks'," Videl asked hesitantly.  
  
  
  
Gohan blinked, then blinked again—he'd thought that maybe his hallucinations were extending to the visual range, and thus had ignored it. Wait, since they were bonded, maybe if he was hallucinating, Videl would see it too. Gohan nudged Krillin, "Hey, Krillin, are there two Mirai Trunks', or is it just me?"  
  
  
  
Krillin looked up at Gohan, sleepy eyes filled with confusion, "Didn't Videl just ask you the same thing?"  
  
  
  
Gohan blushed, "Ahh, yeah, but…"  
  
  
  
Krillin brightened a little, "OOOOOH. I get it—the bond." Krillin momentarily considered teasing Gohan, then shrugged and decided against it—he needed to save some material for future abuse, after all, "Yeah, I see it Gohan—there are definitely two Mirai's."  
  
  
  
Gohan's face filled with confusion—wasn't Krillin going to tease him? Oh well, just another strange product of a messed up day.  
  
  
  
"Ok, so, umm, Vegeta? Why do you have three sons now?" Gohan asked casually.  
  
  
  
Vegeta looked at him in annoyance—it was WAY past his bedtime, and the Prince of all Saiyans was one grumpy customer. With an evil smile, Vegeta decided to let Gohan in on the events that he had missed. In a calm, detached voice, Vegeta explained all about Evil Mirai Gohan, Dark Overlord of the Universe. He then went on to describe the scene with the demon from Otherworld arriving and revoking Dende's powers for that little prank. By the time he was done, Vegeta was pleased to note that Gohan was quivering with suppressed rage.  
  
  
  
New Mirai's eyes widened and he heard the distinct sounds of death stalking him as EVIL flared in this Gohan's eyes. Stomping heavily towards the curled up, sullen Dende, Gohan growled low in his throat—he was indecisive—on one hand, Dende had made his life a living hell today—on the other, he WAS his friend—to kill, or not to kill—that was the question.  
  
  
  
As if in response to his dilemma, a small voice whispered in Gohan's ear, 'I say you should kill him.'  
  
  
  
What?! Gohan blinked, and slowly turned his head to the right. There, perched on his shoulder, was a little mini-Vegeta, with horns and a pointed tail, holding a pitchfork and grinning evilly. *You really think so,* he asked Devil Vegeta questioningly.  
  
  
  
'Don't listen to him!' a voice replied from his left shoulder. Gohan slowly creaked his head around, almost afraid to look. There, in all his glory, stood a mini-Goku wearing a long white gown, feathered wings pushing out of his shoulders, and a halo resting above his head. In his hands, he awkwardly held a small golden harp. 'Don't do it son, Dende's your friend!'  
  
  
  
'Shut up Kakkarott,' Devil Vegeta replied, 'And what's with the harp, baka, you don't even know what to do with it!'  
  
  
  
Angel Goku looked slightly offended, 'Hey Vegeta! That's not nice—besides, a harp is better than a pitchfork—what do you do—work in the stables or something?'  
  
  
  
Devil Vegeta grew enraged, 'It's for TORTURING people BAKA! People like YOU!'  
  
  
  
Suddenly Gohan spoke up, breaking into the fight, *Kill them. Yes. That will solve my problems! I should just kill them all—blow up this whole freaking gymnasium!* he thought wildly.  
  
  
  
Angel Goku looked horrified at this thought, and even Devil Vegeta looked a little worried—he did have three sons here, after all, and Bulma, and even Kakkarott's second brat…Devil Vegeta gulped, 'I don't think that would be such a good idea, brat—just kill the brat from Namek.'  
  
  
  
Gohan's mind voice laughed insanely, *No, must kill them all—it's the only way—the only way out!*  
  
  
  
A small golden halo appeared over Devil Vegeta's head, and his pitchfork flickered back and forth between fork and harp, finally settling on an electric guitar. Devil Vegeta blinked in shock as he found himself standing next to angel Goku. 'Yeah, Vegeta, you came over to the Light!' Angel Goku exclaimed ecstatically.  
  
  
  
'Not…exactly,' the mini-Vegeta responded, feeling around to discover there were still horns holding up his halo. 'But I guess we're on the same side in this one, Kakkarott.'  
  
  
  
As the two miniature versions of Goku and Vegeta exhorted him NOT to blow up the gym, another voice piped up. *Yeah Gohan, if you blow up the gym, you'll blow up Videl, too!*  
  
  
  
*Umm, Gohan, who is that?* Videl's voice sounded through his mind, laced with confusion.  
  
  
  
Gohan blinked, and looked at Videl in shock, *You can hear him?*  
  
  
  
*Of course she can hear me,* the voice responded, *I'm your Inner Krillin, I live solely to tease you about Videl—aren't you REALLY embarrassed she knows about me now Gohan? Think, an Inner Voice dedicated solely to her—she knows just how much you care now, Gohan!*  
  
  
  
Videl blushed, *Wow, Gohan—is that true? An Inner Voice just for me?*  
  
  
  
Gohan pushed away his embarrassment, he'd deal with it later. *What about them,* he asked, pointing to the little Vegeta and Goku replicas standing on his right shoulder, *Can you see them too?*  
  
  
  
*Duh, Gohan,* responded his Inner Krillin, *Of course she can't see them—THEY'RE not real.*  
  
  
  
Gohan had just about had enough—this debate about the existence and non- existence of his Inner Voices had just about driven him over the edge. He was going to do it—he was going to blow up—suddenly, a voice resounded in Gohan's head, *Don't do it son!*  
  
  
  
Gohan sighed, *Why not dad? You're just a hallucination too—just like Inner Krillin, and Devil Vegeta, and Angel Goku—you're not real!*  
  
  
  
Goku's mind voice reflected confusion, *Uh, I really have no idea what you're talking about Gohan, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm on Namek, and I've got all of the Dragonballs.*  
  
  
  
Gohan was shocked, *What? You're really real? When did you go to Namek?!*  
  
  
  
Goku's voice contained a mental shrug, *Well, you were just standing there talking to yourself, so I decided to teleport here and gather the Dragonballs for you.*  
  
  
  
Gohan's mind voice nearly dripped with relief, *Oh, dad—THANK YOU!*  
  
  
  
Goku laughed, *Be there in a second!*  
  
  
  
Gohan felt Goku's energy appear behind him, and as he spun around, Devil Vegeta and Angel Goku disappearing with a pop as they were forgotten. There stood Goku, surrounded by the large Namekian Dragonballs.  
  
  
  
At the sudden energy surge, Piccolo opened his eyes. Seeing the snoring Yamcha on his lap, Piccolo pushed him roughly off with a grunt of disgust. "What do you think you're doing Gok—" Piccolo began, but he was far too late—they all were.  
  
  
  
"POOOOOORUUUUUNGAAAAAAAA!" Goku's voice called out.  
  
  
  
Those who were still asleep, abruptly woke up—this didn't cause too much of a problem, seeing as most of the people in the bleachers promptly passed out again after a few perfunctory screams at the sight of the Eternal Dragon Porunga, who now filled the school gymnasium.  
  
  
  
"Kakkarott, you IDIOT!" yelled Vegeta, holding Bulma close as he dodged a rain of ceiling tiles the dragon had knocked loose, "Of all places, why in the HELL did you summon the Dragon here?!"  
  
  
  
Goku reached up and scratched his head in confusion, "Uh, sorry Vegeta, but, Dende was here, and I don't know Namekian."  
  
  
  
"Did it ever occur to you, you moron, that you could teleport the Namekian brat back to Namek with you? Now the Dragonballs are going to scatter on the Earth!" Vegeta growled, glaring viciously.  
  
  
  
"Oh, heh." Goku reached up to scratch once again, "Guess I forgot about that."  
  
  
  
Dende, meanwhile, yelped as Gohan picked him up by the scruff of the neck. "Ok, Dende. You are going to make the wishes that I tell you to make, in the ORDER that I tell you to make them, or, I go with my first plan and blow up this school and you along with it!" Gohan growled menacingly.  
  
  
  
Once again, Vegeta looked at Gohan with something bordering on admiration. They boy could be SO EVIL when he tried.  
  
  
  
Dende gulped and nodded as he was plopped unceremoniously at the feet of the Eternal Dragon.  
  
  
  
Gohan was about to instruct Dende on the first wish, when he felt a breeze—looking around, he saw that his threat to destroy the school was now moot, as the energy of the Dragon had already done so. All that was left were the strongly constructed bleachers, behind which cowered the entire population of the school, along with faculty, staff, and parents. Gohan shrugged. He'd take care of that problem when he came to it.  
  
  
  
Nudging Dende with a toe, Gohan instructed, "Wish for everyone to forget this day."  
  
  
  
Dende wrung his hands nervously, and made the wish.  
  
  
  
Porunga's eyes glowed momentarily as he took in the words of the little Namek at his feet. "THIS WISH IS BEYOND MY POWER," the eternal Dragon's voice rang out, "I CAN MAKE IT SEEM A MERE DREAM, BUT I CANNOT ERASE THEIR MINDS. DO YOU WISH THIS—TO MAKE IT SEEM A DREAM?"  
  
  
  
Gohan considered for a moment—yes, a dream—perhaps that would work! Gohan nodded to Dende, "Wish for everyone except my friends and I to think this was all one big dream."  
  
  
  
Dende nodded, and made the wish. Porunga's eyes glowed, and a golden light suffused the crowd behind the bleachers. Those who were still awake, slipped silently into slumber. "IT HAS BEEN DONE."  
  
  
  
Gohan nodded. Now it was time for damage control. "Dende, ask the Dragon to restore my school please."  
  
  
  
Dende nodded. A slight flicker of a possible practical joke flittered across his brain, but he hastily pushed it away. "Better to live to joke another day," he murmured in Namekian before calling out the wish to Porunga.  
  
  
  
Porunga's eyes glowed red as the school began to restore itself around them. Gohan knew the process of restoration would remain incomplete as long as they remained in the building, so he made his last wish, and solved his last problem. "Alright, Dende, for the last wish, tell Porunga to transport us all home and into our beds."  
  
  
  
"What?!" Vegeta yelped from behind him, flanked by the two Mirai's, Bulma holding the unconscious Chibi at his feet, "What kind of wish is that, brat?"  
  
  
  
Gohan glared in Vegeta's direction, "Fine Vegeta—YOU think up another wish, then YOU can spend all night finding everyone's houses and transporting them all into their beds so they think this was just a drea—"  
  
  
  
Gohan was cut off as the voice of the Eternal Dragon rumbled, "Your wish has been granted…" and Vegeta disappeared with an outraged squawk. Alone in the empty gymnasium, Porunga's voice rumbled, "Farewell," and the Dragonballs set off for parts unknown, streaking through the Earth's sky in seven different directions, leaving Orange Star High School empty, but perfect, with not even a hole caused by their departure.  
  
_____________  
  
  
  
Gohan jumped a bit to find himself in bed, in his pajamas. Apparently Dende had forgotten to exclude Gohan and the rest of the Z-senshi. Shrugging, Gohan turned over on his side and sighing, closed his eyes. *What a long, horrible day…*  
  
_____________  
  
  
  
Vegeta and Bulma jumped to find themselves side by side in their own beds. Vegeta's growl of annoyance turned to a slight purr as Bulma reached over and whispered sexily in his ear, "What do you say we finish that 'demonstration' we started earlier?" And they did.  
  
_____________  
  
  
  
Tien blinked in astonishment as he found himself in bed next to his wife, Launch. Tien had to stifle a yelp, as he noticed that although sound asleep, she was once again in her violent, gun-wielding form, blonde hair stretched out across the pillows. Carefully, Tien reached for the pepper he kept on the bed stand for such emergencies and sprinkled a bit beneath her nose. With a loud AAAAAACHHOOOO, Launch returned to her sweet brunette self, and Tien, heaving a sigh of relief, turned over and went to sleep—it'd been a long day.  
  
_____________  
  
  
  
Krillin eeped in shock as he landed on top of 18 in their bed on Kame Island—apparently the Dragon's aim had been a little off. 18's eyes jumped open as she felt Krillin's weight land on her with a thud, then a slow smile crossed her lips. "Feisty tonight, huh?" she murmured. Needless to say, Krillin did not get much sleep that night. Poor Krillin.  
  
_____________  
  
  
  
Goku was already asleep by the time he hit his bed, worries of the day carelessly forgotten as he had slipped into a golden slumber. Chi-Chi blinked sleepily as she felt her husband's weight appear suddenly on his side of the bed—she was used to it—him and his Instant Transmission. Happily, she pushed a stray strand of hair out of his peaceful face, cuddled up to him, and went back to sleep.  
  
_____________  
  
  
  
Videl jumped as she found herself in the middle of her large, four-poster bed. Already dressed in a nightgown, and under the covers, Videl leaned back with a sigh. Today had been a long day—an astonishing day, filled with all kinds of surprises.  
  
  
  
*What a long, horrible day…* Videl heard someone say in her mind.  
  
  
  
*Hey, it wasn't horrible,* Videl protested.  
  
  
  
*Videl, is that you?* answered Gohan in surprise.  
  
  
  
*Uh, yeah, I guess it is—Gohan—why can we hear each other's thoughts?*  
  
  
  
There was a slightly embarrassed pause, *I'll tell you tomorrow, I promise Videl.*  
  
  
  
Videl considered arguing, but then sighed, and settled back into her pillows, closing her eyes, *Alright. Goodnight, Gohan.*  
  
  
  
*Goodnight Videl.*  
  
  
  
***ALRIGHT! This is the last, chapter—there may be an epilogue but I haven't decided yet. I want everyone to know that I had a great time writing this fic, and for all of you who were reading Getting A Clue, I apologize for not writing in such a long time. I've been really depressed lately, and really busy, also—a bad combination. I should have the next chapter out on that fic and my other one within the next few days. Anyway, sorry again, and thanks to everyone who enjoyed reading this fic!***  
  
*Advertizing* Ok, I have a few this time!  
  
1) B*tch Slap by Beaner-Bop—Another Gohan torture fic for you to enjoy, it's well written, funny, and highly original. Storyid=714247  
  
2) Majin Mischief by Mango Madness—Ok, this is INCREDIBLY funny as are all of her fics, but I can't explain exactly what without giving it away—sufficed to say, it's another Trunks torturing Vegeta for attention kinda fic! Storyid=67040  
  
3) The Great Sharpener Man by Anonymoose—Oh, this is funny—written from Sharpener's POV, go inside the mind (what there is of it) of the buff blonde and discover his thoughts and feelings as he finds Saiyaman's lost watch and putting it on discovers the impossible—HE, SHARPENER—IS SAIYAMAN! Storyid=721875 


	15. Epilogue

Disclaimer—Frozenflower:  ::jumps around excitedly:: I've DONE IT!  I've discovered the chemical formula for DBZ OWNERSHIP!  It's H20!"  

Veggie-chan:  "-_-;  that's water…."

Frozenflower:  "……oh.  Darn, back to the lab!  Anyway, for NOW at least, I don't own DB/Z/GT!"

____________________

Gohan sat next to Videl on the lawn of Capsule Corporation.  It'd been three weeks since the whole 'Bring Your Father to School Day' incident, and though it was long over, it was definitely not forgotten.

Things had gone as planned at first—people had returned to school somewhat bleary eyed the next morning, convinced that the strange events of the day before had been nothing more than the conjurings of their own twisted psyches.  The two blonde bombshells, Sharpener and Erasa, were the first things that had gone wrong.

Apparently, to Gohan's great misfortune, he considered Sharpener and Erasa friends.  This meant that the air-headed duo had been exempted from the wish he made to the dragon, asking everyone (besides his friends and family) to think the day a dream.

"Dude—it's the G-man, the Gold Fighter, Saiyaman extreme, dude!" Sharpener exclaimed happily.

"Oh, Gohan?" Erasa fluttered her eyelashes sweetly, "Whatever happened to my purple hunka-muffin and his twin?  Actually his father wasn't that bad either…"

As he had tried frantically to escape the chattering pair, Gohan had run into the one person he'd wished most to avoid: Videl.

After being cornered and grilled by the fiery Videl for nearly an hour, Gohan had finally been released, a bit dented, and somewhat worse for wear, (Videl had somehow managed to obtain a remarkable replica of the 'Almighty Frying Pan of Terror™') with his Inner Krillin laughing uproariously in his head.

Entering his second period classroom, with his new girlfriend at his side, Gohan had been startled when the room went quiet.  Slowly making their way to their seats, Gohan had shot questioning looks at Sharpener and Erasa, who were more than happy to provide an explanation, "They were all talking about yesterday, Gohan—they all think it's a dream!  But I know it's not—why would everybody have the same dream?  I mean, seriously!  And why do Sharpie and I remember what happened, and no one else does?"

Gohan's face had paled, and he had played the innocent—dream?  What dream?  What did they mean by everything that had 'happened' yesterday?  Yesterday had been another normal day, just like the last….

They hadn't bought it.  Rumors now flew wildly, and the 'mass dream' was being attributed to alien mind beams by the more gullible and prone to fantasy.  The more realistic among the populace looked at Gohan with more than a bit of suspicion, and the rest regarded him with a mixture of awe and fear—if their dream were right, after all, Son Gohan wasn't someone you wanted to mess with.

On his back, looking up, Gohan snorted up at the puffy white clouds overhead—alien mind beams—how ridiculous!  Any sane person would know it was the Eternal Dragon—not something as unlikely as alien mind beams…

Videl, catching this last thought, sweatdropped from her position in the grass beside Gohan, *Umm, Gohan?*

Gohan blinked, coming out of his reverie, *Yeah Videl?*

Videl thought for a moment, then sighed.  It wasn't worth reminding Gohan that HE was an alien, and alien mind beams were JUST as reasonable as giant magic dragons that came out of pretty little orange balls.  *Forget it….*

Gohan turned his head to gaze curiously at her, then shrugged and returned his eyes to the sky, *Oh, look Videl,* Gohan exclaimed through their link, *That cloud looks just like your dad!*

Videl gazed dubiously up at the cloud that looked vaguely like a human head buried beneath an immense afro, then giggled, *It does look like my dad!*

After several more friends and relatives had been found, including a pointy Vegeta cloud, a happy looking Goten cloud, and a surprisingly green, scowling Piccolo cloud, Gohan sighed and his hand unconsciously sought out Videl's.

Videl blushed as she felt Gohan grasp her hand, but snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.  

Gohan felt like his face was on fire, but he wrapped his arm around Videl nonetheless.  He was content.

A flash of light and a clicking whir resounded, and Goten and Chibi Trunks leapt out of the tree that Gohan and Videl were resting under, camera in hand.  

Gohan glared at the two chibi's before him.  They smirked cheekily back.  If his mother saw that picture, she'd hound him to no end—not to mention KRILLIN!

*AWWWWWW THAT WAS SOOOOO CUUUUUUUTE!*

Gohan viciously suppressed his Inner Krillin, stuffing the bald little Inner Voice into a little soundproofed Inner Box and locking it with a specialized, indestructible Inner Key.  Faintly from within the box, the woeful cries of the Inner Krillin went unnoticed….*Waaaaahhhh!  Gohan, let me ooooooooooouuuuuuuuttttttt!*  Unfortunately for the Inner Krillin, it would be  long time before any of the other Inner Voices realized that he was missing.  Poor Inner Krillin.

Gohan turned his attention back to the two irrepressible monsters before him.  He had to get that camera.  His mother was already ordering bridal magazines!  If she got hold of this picture, she'd probably copy it and send out invitations!

Gohan thought furiously, desperate for some way, ANY way to defeat the evil little children before him—preferably without blowing them up.  Suddenly, it came to him—with an evil little smirk that would have scared the daylights out of New Mirai Trunks, Gohan said one simple word.  "Sugar."

A look of horror crossed the chibi's faces.  "You-you wouldn't." Trunks stuttered fearfully.

Gohan's grin grew, and he nodded affirmatively, "If I had to spoon feed you myself."

In utter terror the children screamed and dropped the camera, fleeing for their lives.

Videl cocked an eyebrow as Gohan opened the camera and stuffed the roll of film into his side pocket, "Just what was THAT all about?"  
  


Gohan grinned mysteriously.  It had taken poor Chibi Trunks and Goten three days to descend from their sugar high.  In that time, they had managed to destroy half of the Capsule Corp. complex, and incur Vegeta's wrath.  Gohan almost chuckled as he remembered the Princes enraged screams, _"SQUIRTLE?  I'll show you a Squirtle you insane little brats!"_

With the help of Pikachu, aka Goku, Chibi Trunks and Goten had enjoyed a nice long vacation courtesy of Vegeta's GR Spa.  They had just emerged from the room, shaken, starved and drained, four days ago.  Gohan had been inadvertent witness to their fervent vows as they swore off sugar forever.  He wondered how long it would take them to forget that vow—he was certain it wouldn't last a week, but for now at least, sugar reigned high on the list of 'Things to Terrorize the Chibi's With.'

Gohan looked innocently at Videl.  "I don't know—hey, you want a soda or something?"  Gohan stood up, offering a hand to help Videl to her feet.  He was really grateful that that Bulma was allowing him and his family to hang out here at Capsule Corporation.  The first few days after the _INCIDENT_, as he'd taken to calling it, dozens of students had arrived at his house, curious about 'the dream,' and why he played such a big role in it.  He couldn't even threaten to blast them, unless he wanted their suspicions proven out.

Sighing, Gohan, trailed by Videl, walked lazily into the kitchen to find both Mirai Trunks' playing some sort of card game at the table—surprisingly enough, Vegeta was also participating.  Gohan had to suppress a laugh when Vegeta growled, "Go fish," at Old Mirai Trunks.  

Three heads rose as he and Videl entered the room.  One face looked at Gohan with the cheerful love and respect that one would grant a duplicate of their old master, while one glared with barely suppressed anger and fear, and the last looked at him with an expression that Gohan was definitely not used to—an expression bordering on respect.

With a gleeful shout, Old Mirai exclaimed "I WIN!" laying his cards down on the table.

Vegeta growled petulantly, and demanded a spar, to prove just who was the REAL winner.  It was OBVIOUS that someone had cheated.  OBVIOUS.  HE was the Prince of the Saiyans after all—Princes ALWAYS won at Go Fish.  It was a rule somewhere—he was sure.

Old Mirai grinned carelessly, "Sure father, whatever."  He shot a questioning look at New Mirai, Gohan and Videl.  "What do you say?  You guys up for it?"  

New Mirai glanced warily at Gohan, but nodded, Gohan shrugged in agreement, and Videl crowed in delight.  She was so far below their level, they didn't often take the time to spar with her—this would be fun!

As Gohan and the other changed into fighting gi's, somewhere, in Otherworld, two souls were LOOOOOONG overdue for their seven year vacation.

Bardock looked questioningly at King Vegeta, "So, where do you want to go?  We've got a whole day, all to ourselves."

King Vegeta glared at Bardock, momentarily miffed at his casual speech, then sighed.  Tapping his ominous looking pitchfork against the ground, he shrugged, "I have no idea—Vegeta-sei is long gone, and Frieza's dead, so we can't go after him…" 

Bardock thought for a moment, then brightened, and pushed away the annoying harp that insisted on floating around after him, no matter how many times he tried to lose it, "What do you say we go visit Kakkarot and Prince Vegeta?  Last time Enma let me have a look, they were both on some planet called Earth, in the eastern sector." Grasping desperately for an excuse to see his son that wouldn't seem too un-Saiyan-like, Bardock said, "If Kakkarot's there, they'll probably have some good food!" 

King Vegeta sweatdropped.  Bardock would never admit that he just wanted to see his son.  And neither would he.  "Alright, let's go.  But they better have plenty of food!"

Bardock turned to the man who had informed them of this vacation day, and verbalized their request.  As the two long dead warriors of the Saiyan race disappeared in a haze of light, the small figure smirked.  Sometimes it was so GOOD to be evil!

Had Dende known the Supreme Kai, he'd have recognized that evil smile as his own, and he might have realized—THIS was where he'd gotten it from!

___________________

Gohan walked cheerily from the house, and towards the Gravity Room, whistling a happy tune, ready for training.  Videl was already in there, and from the sound of muffled explosions, so was Vegeta.  

Rounding the corner, he almost ran into a growing haze of golden light.  From the light, emerged…. 

"No…" Gohan exclaimed in a choked whisper, "You—you're not real—you're not!  You're just figments of my imagination…that's what they said…Mom…Dad…the doctor—she said those drugs would make you go away!"

Gohan fell to his knees, clutching his head and cursing the poor quality of modern day psychiatric medications.  "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

King Vegeta swished his tail and looked questioningly at Bardock, "This child is of your line, is he not?" At Bardock's shocked nod, King Vegeta snorted, "Figures."

Looking at the twitching, whimpering boy on the ground Bardock reached up to scratch his head in a very familiar gesture.  "Was it something we said?"

_____________________

In the laundry room, oblivious to her son's latest fit of insanity, Chi-Chi plodded wearily through piles and piles of laundry.  In one particular pair of pants, she felt a small lump.  Reaching inside, she discovered a roll of film.

Now, Chi-Chi wasn't normally a nosy person, but seeing this roll of film, something inexplicable told her that she'd be very VERY happy if she went and developed it.  

Giving in to the strange urge, Chi-Chi abandoned the laundry, and made a special trip down to the store, for specifically that purpose.  After one very long hour, an insanely happy Chi-Chi held dozens of prints in one hand, and a shopping bag full of invitations in the other.  

Humming happily, Chi-Chi skipped in the door at Capsule Corporation, completely missing the Angel Goku and Devil Vegeta look-alikes standing above her sobbing son so great was her state of bliss.

Sitting, she began quickly filling out the wedding invitations.  *Grandchildren, grandchildren, GRANDCHILDREN!* Her mind shrieked joyously.  Let the planning begin!

***Alright!  Epilogue, epilogue, EPILOGUE!  Sorry this took so long to bring out.  With the introduction of these new characters, I am considering making a sequel.  It won't come out for awhile though =) Hope you liked this, R&R please!***


	16. New Beginnings

Disclaimer—Don't Be Zany!  Of course I don't own it!  *hint: The thing I don't own can be found in the first sentence.  GOOD LUCK!

A/N—MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Thought it was dead, didn't you?!  Heh, well, to be honest, so did I.  _Then_ I sat down and started to write the sequel, and I thought to myself, 'No one is going to have a CLUE as to what this is about if they didn't read the first one!'  Sooooo I'm starting off here again!  *whispers* Besides, I'll never be able to beat Burenda's reviews if I start off from scratch! ^_^*

_____________________

Bardock stared uncomfortably at the boy at his feet.  They'd been standing there in the yard for a good ten minutes, and the child was still weeping and wailing something about Angel Goku, and Devil Vegeta, all the while muttering a slew of imprecations of which he could only catch a few.  He thought it sounded something like 'blast that stupid psychiatrist to the next dimension,' but he couldn't be sure.

Glancing a bit hopefully towards King Vegeta, Bardock sighed.  The man was polishing his pitchfork, whistling innocently, and looking anywhere but Bardock.  No help from that quarter.  Kneeling next to the teen, Bardock cleared his throat and grunted, "Knock it off.  We're here to see Kakarott and Prince Vegeta, we're not these…Angel and Devil things you keep mumbling about."

Gohan looked up from his hysterical fit to see a man bending over him.  The man looked just like his father, save for a rather obvious scar running across one cheek.  He wore a long, white gown, and had a halo floating over his head, and feathery wings pushing out of his shoulder blades.  Hovering gently in front of him was a golden harp, which the man kept pushing out of his line of vision with a grunt of annoyance.  Each time he shoved it aside, the harp glowed a little sadly, then floated right back.  That was one persistent harp.

Slowly pulling himself to his knees, Gohan took a steadying breath and sniffled, "You're…not Angel Goku?"

Bardock's face took on a look of annoyance.  Were all the creatures on this planet mentally deficient, or just those of his lineage?  It was more than a bit humiliating.  "No, I'm not…Angel Goku, whatever that is.  My name is Bardock and I'm here seeking my son, Kakarott.  You would be my grandson, Gohan, am I correct?"

At this, Gohan blinked, a bit dazed.  His _grandfather_?!  Shaking his head, Gohan pointed to the pointy-tailed man, who was a perfect clone of Prince Vegeta, save for the horns and the goatee, which rather completed the evil look. "And he's…"

"Oh, that's just Vegeta," Bardock replied, casually.  King Vegeta sighed once again at the informal manner, but let it go.  After all, the man _had _gotten Yemma to let him out of hell, and had spent the past thirty years playing his guardian as part of the deal.  He owed him that much.  And besides, that was just Bardock for you.

Slowly, as if the sun were dawning on a day previously gray with clouds, a smile grew over Gohan's face.  Bardock and King Vegeta looked on in astonishment at the transformation as the boy grew from timid and weeping, to wicked, his eyes barely containing their malevolent glee.  

Gohan stood, and cleared his throat, gesturing towards the waiting Gravity Room where Vegeta, Videl and the Mirai Trunks' still sparred.  "Right this way, Grandfather, King Vegeta," Gohan said with a smile.  

In truth, Gohan couldn't have been happier.  It had taken a long time for him to recover from that horrible day, and it was only with the help of Videl, and his family that he had pulled through without blowing anything up.  His Inner Krillin still haunted him occasionally, popping out at unexpected moments to torment him about Videl.  But that wasn't it.  He wasn't relapsing—no, the two before him weren't Devil Vegeta and Angel Goku—they were just his grandfather and the King of a long dead planet, who were incidentally, long dead themselves, come to visit.  That was fine.  That he could handle.  

Aside from the happiness he gained from knowing that he wouldn't have to explain any mauled psychiatrists to his father, Gohan felt a different sort of joy.  It was the floating, jittery, glee of knowing that _he_ wasn't the sole target of the sick and twisted pranks of the gods.  

Somehow, Bardock and King Vegeta had ended up here, and Gohan had a feeling that his father Goku, and the Prince of All Saiyans, were in for one heck of an interesting day.

______________________

Somewhere in the timeless realm of Otherworld, the Supreme Kai chuckled to himself.  He sure liked how that boy thought!  Although it was quite true that he would have sent Bardock and King Vegeta back solely for his own amusement, this time there was a darker purpose at stake.  

Stalking the dimensions, the being known as Evil Mirai Gohan had been freed to roam the timelines on the caprice of a junior Kami by the name of Dende.  Though normally the Supreme Kai would have enjoyed, and even encouraged the younger God's mischief, there was more on the line this time.

Unknown to the Z-senshi, they were about to face their greatest battle yet: and it all lay in the hands of Bardock, King Vegeta, and a being not even known as of yet.  A being by the name of Gotenks.

_______________________

In the kitchen at Capsule Corporation, the table was literally _littered_ with wedding invitations.  Goku was sitting to one side eating a huge sandwich, while Chi-Chi, who had somehow roped Bulma into the mess, chatted gaily with her partner in crime, plotting the demise of her eldest son.  Well, not demise, exactly—WORSE.  Much worse.  She was plotting his….marriage.

"And I think I can get it going…YES!" Bulma yelped in triumph.

Bulma's moment of glory was interrupted by a loud BANG as Goku once again dropped a glob of mayonnaise onto one of the wedding invitations that Chi-Chi and Bulma were filling out.

Chi-Chi ignored Goku's hurt expression and calmly put away her frying pan, reaching for a napkin to wipe off the goo.  "Sorry Bulma, what was that you said again?"

Bulma looked just the tiniest bit annoyed that the announcement of her genius had gone unheard the first time, but she shrugged and repeated herself.  "I've done it!  You know how I've been working on perfecting that machine that replicates Goku's Instant Transmission technique?  Well, I've completed it!  We can test it out by using it to send out Videl and Gohan's wedding invitations!"

At this, even Goku looked interested, opening his mouth to ask a question, "GEE Bulmashhh, howzhit—" Goku was quickly cut off by another blow to the head as the pictures and invitations covering the table received another thin coating of mayonnaise.

Absently returning her frying pan to the dimensional pocket she kept handy for such occasions, Chi-Chi looked at Bulma doubtfully, "But, what if it doesn't work?  I don't want my baby's invitations to get lost in … well, somewhere!"

Bulma nodded, and slyly replied, "Well, I understand if you don't want to take that chance, Chi-Chi, but you KNOW, we could hold the wedding a lot sooner if the invitations were delivered this way…in _fact_ I bet with my help, we could get things together and have them married by the end of the week!"

All sense left Chi-Chi's eyes, and little birds carrying banners that spelled out the word 'GRANDCHILDREN' began fluttering happily about her head.  After several seconds of joyous rapture, Chi-Chi snapped out of her little daydream, and the birds disappeared with a pop, much to the dismay of Goku, who had been trying to catch one.  "LET'S DO IT!"

Chi-Chi's roar scared the daylights out of the two demi-saiyans who had been hiding under the table the whole time, figuring it was the last place Gohan would look for them.  Chibi Trunks and Goten rolled out with a squeak of fear, to confront the surprised looks of their mothers and Goku.  

Chi-Chi's eyes narrowed, and even sitting she managed to look scary enough to destroy the Roman Legions with a glance, "And just _what_ are you two doing under there?!"

Goten gulped, and became teary eyed, "Mama, it was HORRIBLE!  Brother said he'd feed us…." A look of true horror came over the child's face, "sugar."

Goku's expression was amused.  The two were unholy terrors on sugar, and had managed to earn themselves several days straight of being beaten to a pulp in the Gravity Room by him and Vegeta before the stuff had finally worn off the last time they'd eaten it.  Goku never wanted to hear the name of another Pokemon again.  It was their favorite show, and when the two got hyper, they tended to confuse fantasy with reality.  

It was a trait that seemed common to demi-saiyans, Goku mused, thinking on his son, Gohan's, problems.  Luckily, in Gohan's case, there were medications for those sorts of things.  Goku vaguely remembered the school counselors trying to diagnose Chibi Trunks and Goten with something called 'Attention Deficit Disorder' and prescribe a drug called 'Ritalin,' but the boys had had an adverse reaction to the stuff, and Goten had been convinced for three days straight that he was a pencil.  Goku still recalled with a bit of amusement his youngest son's horrified screams when he had learned of Gohan's friend named Sharpener.

Goku chuckled aloud, earning a curious look from Bulma, and an annoyed look from Chi-Chi.  The two chibi's just looked hopefully at him for rescue.  

Shaking his head, Goku grinned, "Why did Gohan threaten to feed you sugar?"

Goten looked slightly guilty, and Chibi Trunks' face contorted as he struggled to think up a good lie.  As his mind darted frantically from excuse to excuse, he caught sight of the pictures littering the table, and the half filled out wedding invitations that accompanied them.  Eyes widening, Chibi Trunks gulped, "Uhh, Ms. Chi-Chi?" he questioned politely.

Chi-Chi glared in suspicion at the tone.  Trunks was up to something.  "What is it, Trunks?"  
  


"Uhh," Trunks looked like he was about to cry.  Where had she gotten that picture?  Gohan was going to tie them down and shove sugar down their throats for sure, now!  "W-where did you find that picture?"

"Huh?" Chi-Chi was surprised at the question, and glanced absently down at the pile of pictures before her.  Picking one up, she held it next to her face and smiled sappily, "Isn't it so SWEET?!  Your mom and I are filling out invitations to Gohan and Videl's wedding," Chi-Chi nodded at Bulma, who was busily sticking the finished invitations into her invention and setting the coordinates.  "They'll be married before the week is out!"

A look of horror grew on Chibi Trunks' face as he saw his mother stick another finished invitation into the contraption after it had emptied of the last one.  With a whimpering cry, Trunks tackled the machine just as Bulma sent off the invitation, trying to prevent its delivery.  Unfortunately for Trunks, all he did was knock the machine out of whack, sending the invitation askew, destination unknown.

______________________

Evil Mirai Gohan sat sullenly in his time machine.  Nothing to do, nothing to do, nothing to do.  Gohan missed Frieza.  While not the smartest of his hounds, Frieza had been amusing.  He was good at fetch, and even better at dinner.  Frieza had made a mean Fettuccini Alfredo!  

M. Gohan sighed.  All he had left now was Cell, who was eager, but not too bright, and Buu, who though powerful, had all of those ridiculous Ginyu force moves he practiced day and night.  M. Gohan was bored.  It just wasn't a challenge anymore—wrecking universes.  He wanted something—_more._

As if in answer to his boredom, a thin white envelop appeared suddenly, with a slight whoosh of displaced air.  Mirai Gohan blinked, and reached out to pluck the envelop from the space before him, before it could fall to the ground.  Opening it, he read:

_Dear Krillin, #18, & Marron:_

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Son Gohan, and Satan Videl.  The ceremony will be held one week from this time in the gardens of Capsule Corporation.  Attire is formal, please bring a gift for the happy couple to the reception, which will occur directly afterwards. _

_Day: May 14, 789_

_Hour: 12 noon_

_Location: Capsule Corporation_

_Directions: If you don't know how to get here by now, you need to figure it out, guys!_

_P.S.-We've included a picture of the happy couple.  Aren't they sweet?!!_

_Love, the Mother of the Groom,_

_Son Chi-Chi_

Evil Mirai Gohan glanced down at his lap where the invitation had fluttered and picked up the picture.  It was a rather sweet pose of Gohan and Videl laying in the grass together, eyes shut, resting in each other's arms.  

With a slow smile, M. Gohan folded the picture and stuck it in his jacket.  Taking a sip of wine from a nearby goblet, a slow smile spread across his face.  "Well, well, well," he murmured to himself, grin growing in intensity, "It would be rude of me not to come—seeing as how I _am_ invited…..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

The insane laughter echoed loudly down the chill stone corridors of Evil Mirai Gohan's castle.  So frightening, so chilling, so _horrifying_ was the laugh that even Buu cringed in fear.  Buu might have been strong, but Gohan was just plain nuts.   

_________________________

"Umm, 18?  Do you think there's a reason they sent Oolong and Master Roshi's invitation before ours?"

18 glanced drily at her husband, "Calm down, Krillin.  I'm sure it's on its way."

Krillin chuckled a bit, and shook his head, "Yeah, I'm sure you're right, 18!  I mean, Goku's my best friend, and I've known Gohan since he was a little kid!  There's no way they'd forget to invite us!"  

Secure in that thought, Krillin sat down beside his wife to await his invitation.  A WEDDING!  What a great opportunity to tease Gohan.

________________________

Vegeta grunted as the door to the gravity room swung open, and turned to confront Gohan standing in the doorway.  "What is it, brat?  You're late—if you keep slacking in your training, your little girlfriend's going to surpass you in strength."

Gohan glared at Vegeta as the man gestured to Videl, sparring with the weaker of the two Mirai Trunks'.  They both knew it wasn't true; Vegeta was just trying to irk him.  Well, not this time.  Stepping silently out of the way, Gohan smirked as Bardock came into view.  It was time to sit back, and watch the fireworks.

Vegeta scowled, a bit confused and disappointed that Gohan hadn't risen to the bait.  Well, that is, until he'd caught sight of what was behind him.  Unable to contain himself, Vegeta uttered a derisive laugh, before snapping his mouth shut and quickly regaining his composure.  "Nice outfit Kakarott.  Did you rob a costume store or something?"

Bardock raised an eyebrow in reply.  _This_ was the somber little prince he remembered from all those years ago?  Bardock was about to speak, when the amused Prince cut in again, "Honestly Kakarott, a harp?  You should know better—your voice makes the woman's sound good."

Bardock scowled as he was reminded of his floating companion instrument and shoved the thing to the side once more.  "My name is _not_ Kakarott.  Perhaps you don't remember me, though I remember you.  I seem to recall a certain four-year-old prince ruining his father's armor, and begging me not to tell him.  Are you sure you still don't remember me?  Veggie-chan?"  

The last was said with a sly, irreverent smile that had never seen the light of day on Goku's face.  Really and truly flummoxed, the younger Vegeta stared in astonishment at the man before him, "Bardock?!"

The rest of the room's occupants, which included the two Mirai's, Gohan and Videl, looked on with varying degrees of confusion and amusement as another figure stepped out from behind Bardock.  "That was you Vegeta?  I always wondered who ruined that armor."

It was with no little glee that Gohan watched the emotions that flashed across the startled Prince's face.  The two Mirai's managed to catch Vegeta he stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet.

Simultaneously, they exclaimed, "Dad, are you ok?"

"Dad?" King Vegeta's voice now held an amount of shock at _least_ equivalent to the Prince's.  "Vegeta, what is this?  These are _your_ offspring?  I think you've got some explaining to do, son."

Wordlessly, the poor prince nodded in agreement.  

An evil snicker escaped from Gohan in the background.  Torture was rather fun when you weren't on the receiving end.

***Not as full of funnies as some of the last, but hey, I'm setting some stuff up here!  R&R please!***

*Advertizing*

**Chronological Chaos** by _Proteus_:  Time travel—who doesn't love it?  Well, when a teenage Goten and Trunks accidentally end up in a time just before the arrival of the Saiyans, I think you can guess just how chaotic things will get.  Throw in Goku and Vegeta, and plenty of good writing, and you've got chronological chaos!

**What if…** by _PurePsychicEspeon_:  Gohan ends up in the Mirai timeline right after Mirai Gohan dies.  What's worse, he's been pursued there by an evil from his own universe.  Can he keep his identity a secret, and preserve his own timeline as he tries to help the young Mirai Trunks cope with his mentor Mirai Gohan's death?  Everyone's after him—watch out Gohan!  This isn't a comedy, but just about _any_ story you read by this girl is guaranteed to be good, so read it anyway!

**Goteneo and Truliet** by _Burenda_:  Hilarious piece where Trunks is forced to play Juliet in the school play when the lead actress gets sick.  Only one problem.  Guess who's playing Romeo?  (I advertised this once in one of my short stories, but since I deleted it, I figure it's fair game to advertise again!)


	17. Invitations & Introductions

Disclaimer—*standing at a chalkboard, chalk in hand, 'I DON'T OWN DRAGONBALLZ' is scrawled across the board in progressively messier script.*  "I really don't think it's fair that I have to write this 10,000 times!  I was just joking when I said I owned a Chibi Goten!  Silly lawyers…they have no sense of humor! *returns to writing*

A/N—You know, lately I have had an INCREDIBLE fetish (don't even laugh you hentai's) for time travel fics.  I've found some great ones by ladymoonlight, Proteus, and another person who's advertised at the end, but I just can't seem to find enough of them!  If you guys know of a good time travel fic out there, would you PLEASE leave it in the review so I can check it out?  Honestly, I'm _desperate_ here!  Thanks! 

__________________

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Chi-Chi had forgotten her anger over the incident and had immediately forgiven the chibi's when they revealed that _they_ were the originators of her wonderful wedding photos.  Bulma had quickly recalibrated her device, and Goten and Chibi Trunks now sat happily next to Goku, each enjoying a HUGE ice cream sundae, conveniently forgetting that it had sugar in it.  Apparently their fear didn't quite extend to refusing ice cream.

From the living room, a shriek was heard, followed by a loud crash and a long string of curses.  The five at the table looked at each other, and shrugged.  Crashes, cursing and even the occasional shriek were rather commonplace around Capsule Corporation.  

Finishing up his sundae, Goten nudged Chibi Trunks, who sighed, and thought for a moment to resist.  It was, however, their duty to seek out and encourage any and all mayhem, so Chibi Trunks regretfully abandoned his sundae and walked into the living room after his friend.  Running into Goten who stood stock still in the doorway, C. Trunks was surprised for a moment, but recovered quickly.  Taking in the scene, his devilish little soul forgot all about the ice cream, so delighted was he at the insanity that he saw.

The only thing normal about the group in the living room was Gohan and Videl.  They stood discreetly to one side, where Gohan looked like he was working hard to suppress the smile on his face.  In the center of the room, stood Chibi Trunks' father, Prince Vegeta.  The prince was flanked by the two Mirai's, and directly across from them, stood a man with devilish horns sticking out of his head, a long, pointy tail, and a pronged pitchfork in one hand.  More, the man looked _exactly_ like Vegeta, save for a wicked looking goatee he sported.  A bit off to the side, stood a replica of Goku, with a halo and wings, and a rather more dangerous look than _any_ Goku had ever worn off the battlefield.

Chibi Trunks couldn't help a small laugh as a golden harp floated up to eye level of the Goku look-alike, and the man shoved it away with a muttered curse.

At the sound of the laugh, King Vegeta swiveled his head around to catch sight of the purple-haired child in the doorway.  Giving his son a rather incredulous glance, King Vegeta asked, "_Another one?!"_   

Vegeta sighed, and shot a glare at Chibi Trunks as the brat dared yet another chuckle.  He was _really _not in the mood.  His long dead father had just arrived with his _also_ long-dead-former-baby-sitter, who just _happened_ to be the father of his greatest rival.  Now King Vegeta would learn that a lowly third-class had surpassed the Prince of All Saiyans, and that Vegeta no Ouji was _not_ the strongest being in the universe.  And to top if all off, the brat had the _gall_ to laugh at him.  Narrowing his eyes, Vegeta spat out, "Gravity room.  Severe beating.  Possible death."

Chibi Trunks paled, and took a step back.  He got the message.

King Vegeta watched the scene curiously, noting Trunks' fear-filled reaction, "Vegeta, what is this?  Why would you threaten your own son like that?" King Vegeta's voice was confused, and more than a little angry.  He hadn't raised his son to be an abusive bully, especially to his own children!

In response, Prince Vegeta just glared balefully at Chibi Trunks, who had already taken in the situation, and had devised a way to manipulate it to his advantage.  

Looking woundedly at the floor, Chibi Trunks sighed, and clutched at one arm.  Blinking, he looked up at the man he guessed to be his grandfather, and stated with an expression of long suffering bravery, "Don't worry, sir.  It's ok.  I know that daddy doesn't really mean it," here, he turned on the Goten eyes, guaranteed to work on any one from his mother, to Cell himself, "After all, I'm still healing from the last time…"

King Vegeta was outraged, "Vegeta, don't tell me you go around beating your own son—I know that Frieza raised you, but honestly, I would think that you'd have more class than that!"

With an enraged snarl, the prince took a step towards Chibi Trunks, before Bardock stepped in front of him, blocking his path, "Calm down, Prince.  Don't do anything you'd regret later."

From behind Bardock, the evil little child with purple hair chirruped, "I'm sorry daddy, I know I wasn't supposed to tell!"

Standing slightly behind Vegeta, the original Mirai Trunks stepped up and put a soothing hand on his father's shoulder, "Calm down, dad.  You know that Chibi Me is being a brat on purpose—it's in his blood."  Shooting a look at his grandfather, and the slightly confused Bardock, Mirai commented, "Don't believe a word out of that kid's mouth.  He's more demon than child—I don't know how it's possible that we're actually the same person."

The two Saiyan's expressions became confused.  Shooting a look at Mirai Trunks, Bardock ventured a question, "Uh, you're the same person?"

Prince Vegeta restrained a groan, and roughly shrugged off Mirai's hand.  He'd been hoping to save that little fact for later.

Mirai Trunks nodded, and bit his lip.  How best to explain this?  

Fortunate, or unfortunate, Goten decided that this was the time to make his presence known.  Stepping up, he grabbed Bardock's robe in one hand and gave it a good yank to get his attention.  "That's Mirai Trunks," Goten explained seriously, "he came from the future to warn ev'rybody 'bout the androids and stuff, 'n then he came back.  He's my friend Trunks' future self from an al-ter-nate par-a-lell timeline."  Goten smiled proudly.  He'd obviously given the memorization of the words a lot of work.  "And that Trunks, he's from a timeline where Gohan's really evil and rules the whole universe," At this, both chibi's turned admiring eyes towards Gohan, who blushed, and rubbed his head awkwardly, "So we call that Trunks Evil Trunks!"

At this, the Mirai Trunks in question looked offended, "Hey!  I'm not evil!  Gohan's the evil one!" Evil Trunks shot Gohan a glare—he still hadn't quite forgiven the poor boy.

At this, Gohan rolled his eyes, "Look.  I'm not evil in this time, ok?  Let's just call the one who can go Super Saiyan 'Super Trunks' and the other will just be plain old Mirai."

"What about me?" 

Gohan shot Chibi Trunks a glare.  "Chibi Trunks."  
  


"Aww, Gohan!" he whined, "I don't want to be Chibi!"  

Gohan paused thoughtfully for a second, "Well, I suppose we could all call you what your dad calls you…"

Trunks gulped, "Chibi will be fine." His dad had lots of names for him, of which Boy was the nicest.  The others started with Brat and quickly went downhill into censorship land—he didn't think he could stand being called 'YOU &$#* little &@#!' for the duration of the other Trunks' stay.

Bardock and King Vegeta, meanwhile, had missed the end of this little conversation.  They were too busy staring at Super Trunks.  King Vegeta shook his head dazedly, staring at his grandson, while Bardock's gaze shifted back and forth from Super Trunks to the little mini-me still hanging on his robe.  

Clearing his throat, King Vegeta's gaze left Super Trunks, and settled on his son, Price Vegeta, whose face was a mask of frustration, with perhaps just a tinge of despair, "Super Saiyan?"

_____________________

Chi-Chi looked up from sealing the very last invitation as the murmur of voices from the living room stopped.  Handing it to Bulma, she poked her husband in the side, "Goku—go find out what's going on in there."

Punching in the coordinates for the Satan mansion, Bulma nodded, "Yeah, and get an estimate for repair costs while you're at it."

Sighing, Goku regretfully put down his 11th sandwich, and started for the living room.

"Oh!  And tell Gohan to come here if he's in there!" Chi-Chi called after him.

"And tell Vegeta he's going to be sleeping on the couch for a month if he's blown something up again!" Bulma added.

Goku's head drooped.  He had to abandon his lunch to tell Vegeta that he was going to be sleeping on the couch?  What were they trying to do—get him killed?  Or, at the least, very severely injured?  

Goku sighed, and walked into the living room.  This just didn't seem to be his day.

___________________ 

In front of his vanity, Mr. Satan arrogantly adjusted his custom made afro-wig.  "What do you think, Jeeves?" he asked the man standing cateringly beside him.

Jeeves surpressed a groan, and instead, replied honestly, "You look like a million zeni."  After all, that's about what it had cost to convince the poor wig-maker to make the awful thing.

Hercule smirked proudly, and straightened his 'do.  He had awoken a few weeks ago to find his afro gone, and his mustache singed and smoking.  He didn't know how it had happened, but he was sure that Videl's explanation was incorrect—after all, he didn't remember a thing about that day—and besides, that stuff wasn't real—it was just tricks and light shows!

Reaching out for an oversized pink comb to straighten a few poufs, Mr. Satan yelped as an envelope appeared in the air right in front of him.  In his hurry to get away from the evil thing, he overbalanced, falling to the floor with a crash as his chair tipped over.

Jeeves looked sadly at the 'fallen' hero.  Reaching out, he caught the envelope before it hit the floor, and looked inquiringly at the hyperventilating Mr. Satan, laying on the ground.  "Do you require assistance, sir?"

Mr. Satan shook his head, "Ha, yeah right, like I'd need help from _you!_" Suddenly a thought occurred to the 'Savior of the World'—that note—it wasn't _normal_.  Normal notes didn't just appear out of thin air like that—it was probably a bomb or something.  "Ahh, actually Jeeves, you can help me—why don't you open that letter you're holding?"

Jeeves glanced at the letter, and shrugged, ripping it open, and pulling out a card, as Hercule winced, waiting for an explosion.  Reading it over, he bent down to pick up the picture that had fluttered to the floor, and handed both over to the surprised champion with a smile, "Congratulations, sir!  Why didn't you tell us Ms. Videl was getting married?"

Hercule blinked, not even bothering to fix his wig which had fallen askew as he lurched to his feet.  Looking down at the picture of Videl laying in Gohan's arms, he uttered an incoherent roar of rage. "She's DOING WHAT?!"

_____________________

Krillin sat on the couch, patiently.  Any minute now, any minute and he was sure a little white envelope with his name on it would be popping out of thin air.

"Krillin, you're twitching."

Krillin looked up to see his wife staring at him with cool, blue eyes.  "Heh, sorry 18.  I was just thinking that maybe Gohan's mad at me, or something—" Krillin was cut off as the phone rang.  Shaking his head, he reached over and picked it up, "Kame House, Krillin here."

"Hey, Krillin!  It's Yamcha!  Did you hear the news?"

Krillin sighed, "Heh, yeah, hi Yamcha.  I heard."

Yamcha's was oblivious to Krillin's tone, "I got my invitation a half an hour ago, and I just couldn't think of anyone to call—wasn't that cool?  It must be a new invention of Bulma's or something—they've probably got all of the invitations delivered already!  I just got done talking to Tien.  He said he and Piccolo were out sparring, and the invitations just appeared right there in front of them—pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah, really cool Yamcha," Krillin sighed, trying to keep the dejection out of his voice.  A beep sounded over the connection, and Krillin took the opportunity to get rid of the other man—maybe it was Bulma or Chi-Chi calling to tell him his invitation was on the way!  "Hey, sorry Yamcha, I've got someone on the other line, I'll call you back, ok?"

"Alright, see you at the wedding man!" Yamcha exclaimed, before Krillin cut the connection.

Picking up the receiver, Krillin said eagerly, "Hello?  Bulma, is that you?"

"Nah, sorry man," Krillin winced at the voice, "this is Yajirobe.  Did you hear that Goku's kid is getting married?  Yah, we were up at Kami's place, and we all got an invitation—even Dende—the kid was pretty relieved that Gohan wasn't still mad at him!"

Krillin felt close to tears—Dende got an invitation, and he didn't?  "Uh, was there a reason you called Yajirobe?"

"Uh, yah, Korrin wanted me to tell you that the new crop of senzu beans is ready."

Krillin sighed, "Thanks Yajirobe, but we don't need them anymore—Gohan got through that little crisis, and everyone survived."

"Whatever." *click* At the sound of the dial tone, Krillin sniffed a bit, and hung up.  

*You deserve it you know, Krillin.*

*Huh?*

*I said you deserve it—teasing the poor boy like that—you almost made him go nuts!  He's taking psychiatric medication thanks to you!*

*Hey, that wasn't ALL my fault—Dende's more to blame than I am, and…wait a minute!* Krillin's mind-voice grew suspicious, *Just who the heck are you?!*

*I would think that would be obvious, Krillin,* the voice replied serenely.

*Well, it's not, so just spit it out, tough-guy!*

*I wouldn't use that tone on me if I were you Krillin—you wouldn't want to get me angry—after all, I AM your Inner Gohan.*

"Krillin?  Krillin?  Are you ok?" 18 waved her hand in front of her husband's dazed eyes, until he slowly looked up at her.

"I have an Inner Gohan," Krillin murmured, before falling against his wife, eyes rolled back into his head.

Picking up her husband, 18 looked just a bit worried.  Maybe insanity was contagious among humans.

Holding Krillin under one arm, 18 walked into her daugher's room and scooped up Marron.

Marron giggled as 18 kicked off the sandy beach and took to the air, "Where're we going, mommy?"

18 smiled just a bit in return, "We're going to Capsule Corporation, little one."

Marron giggled and spread her arms, pretending to fly herself, and 18's smile grew a little larger.  If anyone could help her husband, it was Bulma Briefs.  18 shook her head.  Inner Gohan…how absurd.

______________________

Mirai Gohan hummed happily as he packed his supplies for the trip.  Leashes, collars, food for Buu and Cell?  Check.  Three changes of very cool, yet evil looking clothing?  Check.  A copy of his best selling book, 'How to Be Evil Like Me' for a wedding present?  Check.  Looked like everything was in order!  

"Come on boys, hop in, we're going on a trip," Mirai Gohan called.

From down the halls the sound of scrambling claws resounded, accompanied by not a few screams as cumbersome servants fell to ki blast and fist.  Cell and Buu scrambled around the corner, and hopped into the time machine, panting eagerly.  This was going to be fun!

Taking his place in the front, Mirai Gohan inserted the key, and turned.  The engine hummed for a second, then sputtered to a stop.  Darn.  He turned the key again.  Nothing.  Ignoring the disappointed looks on Cell and Buu's faces, M. Gohan hopped out, and lifted the hood.  This was going to take some time.

____________________

Goku blinked.  Maybe this was all a dream—he kind of felt like he did when he'd been hit with the frying pan too hard.  In front of him stood two oddly dressed men, one which looked like Vegeta, and another which looked like him!  They were both staring at one of the Mirai Trunks' who was scratching his head sheepishly and looking to his father for help.  Prince Vegeta just stared sullenly at the ground.  "Uh, hello?  Gohan, Videl, Goten?  Trunks, Trunks, Trunks?  Vegeta?  Anyone?  Who are these people?"

Prince Vegeta brightened, as he looked up to see Goku standing in the doorway.  Perhaps there was some way he could share his torment!  Vegeta grinned, evilly, "Well hello, Kakarott," Prince Vegeta motioned towards Bardock and the King, "This is my father, King Vegeta, and the third class behind him, is your father, Bardock."

King Vegeta and Bardock scowled at the same instant, "Vegeta," they said together, "don't you take that tone with—" grinning ironically at each other, they finished.

"…Bardock."  

"…me."

Prince Vegeta scowled at the floor.  Didn't it just figure that the only two people who had ever _dared_ impose discipline on him (aside from Frieza) had to show up, and worse yet, work together?  Apparently he still had a few unresolved issues from childhood.

Goku's eyes widened a bit.  "You're my father?"

Bardock nodded curtly, "Yes.  Now, Kakarott, what's this about Vegeta's son being a Super Saiyan?"

Goku shrugged, quickly getting over his surprise in a very Goku-ian manner.  "Oh, that.  We're all Super Saiyans except the second Trunks over there," he said pointing at Mirai.

"All?" Bardock choked.

"Well, me, Prince Vegeta, Chibi Trunks, Super Trunks, Goten, and Gohan are, at least."  Ignoring astonished stares of their visitors from heaven, Goku suddenly gulped as he remembered his orders.  "Uh, Vegeta?  Bulma said to tell you that if you blew anything up, you have to sleep on the couch for the next month." Goku cringed, expecting an explosion, which never came.

Vegeta just smiled, and snorted, "Right.  Like the woman could ever last for that long."

Seeing his father giving him a curious glance, Vegeta suddenly came as close to blush as he ever had.  The knowing little smile on King Vegeta's face would have meant certain death for anyone else.

"So, this Bulma is your mate, Vegeta?" The king asked with a sly grin, "I'm very interested in meeting her, my son.  She must be quite an interesting woman to produce children like these," he said gesturing to the purple-haired, blue-eyed Trunks'.

Gohan covered his mouth to hide a snicker.  Bulma dominated in more than genetics—Vegeta was _whipped_.

Goku's eyes moved to his eldest son and he saw the boy smirk at Prince Vegeta's glare.  "Oh yeah, Gohan.  Your mom wanted me to tell you to come into the kitchen—I think it has something to do with the wedding invitations she and Bulma just finished sending out—Videl should probably go too—I don't know if she wants one, or both of you."

Gohan's face paled.  "W-wedding?"

Bardock's face brightened, "My grandson's getting married?  Ahh, so that female is your mate, Gohan?" 

Gohan turned a sickly shade of green, as Bardock gestured to Videl, who was looking more than a little shocky herself.  Nodding his head numbly, Gohan almost groaned.  And here he'd thought his torment was over.  He'd underestimated the number of people who were out to get him in this world.  His number one enemy was still loose, armed and dangerous.  With a pen, some envelopes, and an address book, she had struck hard and low.  

Son Chi-Chi was her name, and her mission?  Operation Grandchildren.

*** ^_^ Ahh, poor Gohan!  R&R please!  And don't forget those time travel fics!***

**Advertizing**

Try reading anything by DarkHeart81—he writes Gohan/Videl fics, and they're all a joy to read! ^_^

Chibi no Hoshi by MoonShadow:  A chibi Pan time travel fic!  Only 3 chapters up so far, but amusing and well done!  Definitely worth a read—go convince her to write some more!


	18. The Wrath of...who?

Disclaimer—*squeezes brain* Not even a drop of creativity left for the disclaimer. (Hell, I even stole the no creativity excuse from MoonShadow.)

A/N—Sorry this took so long, I planned to have it out yesterday at the LATEST but I've been suffering from a humor drought.  The puns have dried up, and the poor characters lie there gasping.  SEVERE writers block on this chapter.  I started it three times, three different beginnings, three pages each.  Guess three is a magic number, ne?  *begins laboriously polishing her clown shoes, trying to make the sparkle return*

____________________

Chibi Trunks glanced warily at Goten.  The look on Gohan's face was indescribable, and if the older boy found out that they'd had _any_ part in this whole marriage debacle, they were dead.  No, worse than dead—STARVING.  

Goten gulped and nodded slightly to Chibi Trunks.  He knew what the older boy was thinking, and he didn't want to starve either.  Warily, the two boys backed out of the living room.  They had to fix this.  There had to be some way to escape the terrible punishment that Gohan would deal out to them, once he got a look at those wedding pictures.

Super Trunks noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye, and watched as the chibi's snuck silently out, past Bardock's waggling tail.  He wasn't going to bust them.  No way.  As far as he was concerned, they had the right idea.  Shooting Mirai Trunks a look, he made a little gesturing motion with his head, and his purple-haired double nodded, somewhat wide eyed.  They didn't want anything to do with a rampaging Gohan either.

Sneaking quietly out the back door, the Trunks' encountered the two chibi's arguing on the lawn.

"But Goten, it's the only way, we already _have_ five of them, we just need to find the two we drop—" At the sound of whispering footsteps, Chibi Trunks quickly noticed his elder counterparts, and cut off, smiling sweetly, "Hello brothers!  What are you doing out here?"

Super Trunks glared at his chibi self suspiciously—he'd had experience with the little demon, and knew something was up.  Something that would probably mean trouble, punctuated by screams and loud explosions.  That was usually the type of mischief the chibi's plotting resulted in.  Mirai, however, was a bit more clueless, and still shuddering over the threat of a rampaging Gohan.  "We came out here to escape Gohan, just like you," Mirai explained, "So, what were you two talking about?"

Goten smiled, "Oh, we were just talking about—"

"TOASTERS!" Yelped Chibi Trunks.

"Toasters?" Super Trunks narrowed his eyes suspiciously, recalling what he had caught of the conversation, "You already have five toasters, and you need two more?"  
  


"Uhh…yeah, for…wedding presents!  Right Goten?"

Goten, under threat of  the 'Evil-Vegeta-like-Death-Glare™' which Chibi Trunks had been perfecting, nodded meekly.

While Super Trunks still looked suspicious, Mirai Trunks nodded gullibly, convinced in the good heartedness of his younger self, conveniently forgetting what an unholy little terror he'd been at that age, "Yeah, I guess that makes sense.  You'd need a lot of toast to fill up a Saiyan.  That's really thoughtful of you guys, you know that?  Maybe you'll keep Gohan from killing us after all!"

Super Trunks still didn't buy it, "Yeah.  Thoughtful."  All ideas of further interrogation were abandoned as Goten and the Trunks' noticed a bulky form flying through the sky towards them.  As the object solidified, and landed, they made out the burdened form of, "18?!"  Super Trunks backed up a bit, hand going instinctively for his sword, "What are you doing here?"

18 raised an ironic eyebrow as she carefully lowered Marron to the ground, and shifted Krillin around to hold him in front of her.  "Apparently your brother's disease is catching," she said glancing blandly at Goten, "Krillin has developed his own set of voices."  Noticing Mirai Trunks, she tilted her head to the side, "So.  You're still here.  That must be confusing.  How do they tell you apart?"

"He's Super Trunks, and he's Mirai Trunks," said Chibi Trunks, pointing to each in turn.  

18 nodded, "And you?"

Chibi Trunks blushed, and bowed his head.  "Chibi."  Glancing up, he saw a group of smirks.  Laughing.  They were all laughing at him—no—they had to understand!  "Don't laugh at me!  Gohan said that it was either Chibi, or what my dad calls me!"

18's tone was amused, "And what does your father call you?"

"#&*% *!&@*."  At their startled looks, he added, "But only when he's mad at me."

Mirai Trunks looked like he was about to choke on his own tongue, "Dad calls you #&*% *!&@*????!"

Super Trunks shrugged, "What's wrong with that?  He calls _me_, FUTURE #&*% *!&@*.  Or, if he's really mad, Future *&(^  $%&^#  little  $%#*  *(&%  $%^*!!!"

Chibi Trunks nodded, "Yeah, I've got that one too."

Marron blinked up at her mother, "Mommy?  What's a #&*%  *!&@*?"

18 looked just the tiniest bit uncomfortable, "Ask your father, dear."

Krillin, who had just woken up, was confronted with the noseless face of his daughter, as 18 set him on the ground, "Huh?  Where am I?  What is it honey?" he asked Marron's inquiring stare.

Marron blinked.  "What's a #&*% *!&@*, daddy?"

Krillin blanched.  "Where'd you hear that from, sweetie?"

If Marron'd had a nose, it would have wrinkled.  "Chibi Trunks says that's what his daddy calls him."

Krillin sighed.  Vegeta…somehow, it figured.  Turning to question Chibi Trunks, all he found was an empty patch of grass.  Looking up, two little yellow dots were already dwindling quickly in the cloudless sky.

"Huh, I wonder where they're going," commented Mirai.

Super Trunks bit his lip fearfully.  "I shudder to think."

Krillin watched the chibi's depart in silence.

*This'll mean trouble, you know.* Commented his Inner Gohan with a snicker, *Many things will be blown into itty bitty pieces as a result of your not stopping those two.*

Krillin chose not to respond.  Instead, climbing unsteadily to his feet, he accompanied the others towards the house.  After all, it wasn't like his Inner Gohan had any basis in reality, or anything.

That was just ridiculous.  Wasn't it?

_____________________

As shell shocked as he was, Gohan never even noticed the departure of his brother and the trio of Trunks'.  Glancing at Videl, who's expression was rather dazed, having never before been a target of the devious grandchild garnering plans of Son Chi-Chi, Gohan made his way into the kitchen, heroically braving the terrible danger that lay before him.

Chi-Chi sat at the table, humming happily as she stared at the phone, pen poised eagerly in hand to record incoming RSVP's.  At the sound of the massed footsteps, she looked up, grinning broadly as Gohan entered the kitchen, "Oh, Gohan, good it's you!  Bulma and I just finished sending out your and Videl's wedding invitations, and now it's time for you two to make some decisions.  Do you want chicken or fish for the reception?"

Gulping, Gohan answered, "Actually, mom, we, uh, need to talk."  There was no answer.  "Mom?  Uh, mom?" Gohan waved his hand urgently in front of  his mother's face, but the woman was gone.  Images of little black-haired blue-eyed grandchildren were skipping happily around her head.  She was completely oblivious.  The pied piper had come to claim her thoughts, and nothing short of a Big Bang Attack would rouse her;  which Gohan was sure that Prince Vegeta would happily provide if asked.  No, as tempting as it was, even insane, grandchild obsessed, meddlesome mothers didn't deserve to be blown into itty bitty pieces.

Groaning, Gohan plopped down at the table.  Why did things like this always happen to him?  "Gosh, don't I get a say…who said I even wanted to get married anyway," he mumbled, secure in the knowledge that his mother was lost in la-la land, and he was thus protected from assault by kitchenware.  Unfortunately, he'd forgotten Videl, who happened to be very sensitive to slight.  And her sharp ears had just perceived one (unwittingly or no) slung in her direction.

Videl's eyes narrowed as she took in the sulky teen before her.  It wasn't _her_ idea that they get married either, but Gohan's reluctance really peeved her for some reason.  Stalking forward, Gohan was cornered before he knew it, chair legs squealing as he hastily scooted back to avoid Videl's glare.  Had Vegeta seen the expression, he would have been a bit vexed.  Videl was infringing on his patent after all.  "And just what does _that_ mean, Son Gohan?" Videl growled, shoving her nose in his face, "You said we were mated, so isn't that the same thing, _Gohan?!" _ Videl didn't really know where all of this sudden hostility was coming from, but she didn't really care either, "We ARE getting married, Gohan, and if you say one more word about it, you won't live to regret it."  The last was said with such deadly sincerity, that every man in the room couldn't help but quail.  

Releasing Gohan, Videl spun about, and smiled cheerily at the astonished crowd behind her, "Nice weather we're having, ne?" she chirruped, "I think I'll just go call daddy and tell him the news."

As Videl exited the kitchen, the awkward silence was broken by a raspy laugh from Bardock, "She…she re-minds me of your," Bardock gasped for air, "your grandmother Sereri."

King Vegeta chuckled, "Yeah, as I recall Bardock, the woman hogtied you and had the ceremony performed without your consent." Shooting Goku an amused glance, the King chuckled, "He woke up the next day with a hangover, a wedding band, and Radditz in the making!"

Bardock grunted and ignored the jibe.  Instead, he turned his attention to the remaining two women in the room.  At the table, Chi-Chi was cooing, and talking to herself, hugging an invisible grandchild that sat in her lap.  Bardock eyed her warily.  He was getting a clue as to where the insanity in his son's family originated.  

With Chi-Chi still lost in her grandchild filled fantasies, Bulma was the only poor soul left wondering just who the heck this Goku look-alike was, and why he was staring at her, "Umm, ok.  Why are there two Goku's and two Vegeta's?"  Looking directly at her husband, Bulma put on a sweet smile, which would cause anyone who knew her to run screaming in the other direction.  "Care to explain, Veggie-chan?"

Bardock chuckled in amusement, "You told her that your nickname was Veggie-chan when you were a child?  I thought you hated that name!"  
  


Bulma brightened, "His nickname really WAS Veggie-chan?!  I just call him that to annoy him!"

Vegeta looked like a piranha out of water.  All that deadly ferocity, and still helpless before Bulma, Bardock and his father.  From behind Bardock, Goku snickered, "Hehe, Veggie-chan…"

A low growl of 'Kakarot' was heard, and yellow glow began to form in Prince Vegeta's hand, when Bardock snorted, and turned to his son with a scolding look.  "I wouldn't laugh if I were you.  The whole time she was pregnant, your mother talked to you through her stomach.  I can still remember it…she forced me to sing lullabies to a fetus…" Bardock grinned evilly, "Widdle Kaka-chan."

Goku came as close as he ever had to a blush.  Kakarot was bad enough…but Kaka-chan?  Vegeta's took on an evil gleam that Goku recognized from the battlefield.  Snickering, the prince mocked, "Go to sleep, and good-night, go to sleep my little Kaka-chan…"

Bulma smirked, "Aww, that's the same one you used to sing Trunks to sleep, isn't it Veggie-chan!  You should have seen him," she confided, "He was so sweet!  And there was this one time, when I forced him into changing Trunks' diaper, and," Bulma smothered a giggle, "Well, let's just say that even as a baby Trunks had good timing, and excellent aim.  It ruined his favorite pair of spandex as I recall…"

"SHUT UP WOMAN!" Vegeta was panting harshly, and his color vaguely that of a sunburned tomato.

Bulma froze, and shot the enraged prince a glare worthy of, well, herself, "Gravity room.  Destroyed.  Itty bitty pieces.  NEVER BEAT KAKAROT!"

Vegeta shut up.  

Goku attempted his very first smirk, but was painfully forestalled by Chi-Chi who had finally returned from Oz to find her kitchen filled with replicas.  Bardock fell to the mighty instrument approximately 1.314 seconds after Chi-Chi awakened.  Never mess with the frying pan.

Sitting dazedly on the floor at King Vegeta's feet, Bardock moaned, "Urrgh, are all the women on this planet related to my dead MATE?!  And what is it with females and frying pans anyway?"

Goku shook off the affects a bit more quickly than his father, and struggled to his feet.  "No, Chi-Chi," Goku held out his hands pleadingly, "These guys are ok.  They're mine and Vegeta's dads—they're here to visit from Otherworld!"

Chi-Chi paused for a moment, then nodded, a bit disappointed.  With a little POOF the frying pan disappeared back where it had come from.  And where was that, you ask?  Some strange accessible-only-to-females frying pan armory located deep in a secret vault underneath Mount Fuji, perhaps?  Just a wild guess….(women, write for a map and instructions on how to obtain your own frying pan at: DeadlyFryingPansRUS@chichico.com.  Men, just ignore this message.) 

After a moment of studying Bardock and King Vegeta, Chi-Chi's brows drew slowly together, and she recalled what had finally jolted her from her grand-child induced stupor.  It had taken awhile, but Videl's comment had finally registered.  It rang in Chi-Chi's ears now, with the solemn toll of a death knell.  Videl had referred to Gohan as her mate.  

Turning slowly to face her elder son, the mighty Mrs. Son was confronted with a blank-eyed stare.  Poor Gohan.  He had absolutely no idea what he was in for.  Oh, sweet misunderstandings!  How reverent and laden with opportunity for mischief!!!  "Gohan," Chi-Chi cooed in a deceptively calm voice, "I do want grandchildren….but….NOT BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED DO YOU HEAR ME YOUNG MAN!??!?!?!"  With the ease of long practice, Chi-Chi's frying pan reappeared, and was on an intercept course with Gohan's head before he could say Teflon.

Gohan was completely and utterly confused, but filled with a deadly fear nonetheless.  With a little yelp, he ducked and took off through the kitchen door, knocking if off its hinges in the process, with Chi-Chi close on his heels.  

Poor Gohan.  He didn't even stand a chance.  Super Saiyan or no, he was doomed.  Everyone knows that mothers are gifted with special powers in order to terrorize…er…_discipline_ their children.  It's just one of those universal laws.  Light is fast, the universe is big, and absolute zero is cold, and Son Gohan is dead meat. (1) Incontrovertible.  Possessed with the ability to destroy solar systems, to shake the very foundations of the universe, there was no way that Son Gohan would ever escape his mother in a rampage.  Heaven help him.

_____________________

Up on his lookout, Dende tried to concentrate on being a good god.  He really wanted to be, but it was just sooooo boring!  He just didn't get the constant wars and general outright meanness of these humans!  Sometimes he felt like blowing the lot of them up.  He'd been spending WAY too much time around Vegeta.  Or maybe Gohan.  Probably both, actually.

Dende's attention was jolted away from a nasty little gunfight he was supposed to be stopping, when he saw young Goten and Trunks flying towards the location of the once again active dragonballs.  It'd only been two days since he'd gotten his God powers back, and he didn't want anything to screw it up!  

Dende grimaced as he took a sip of his water.  He rather missed his customary Pina Colada, but he was going straight, damn it!  Straight as an arrow Dende!  Unfortunately for him, it was too late to do anything about it.  The chibi's had known exactly where the two dropped dragonballs were, and they were already neck deep in boiling water, and getting deeper.  

Dende watched in horrified fascination as Chibi Trunks pulled a capsule from his pocket to reveal the remaining five dragonballs.  This wasn't good.

____________________

Krillin, 18, Marron, and the two elder Trunks' were almost bowled over as Gohan ran screaming from the Capsule Corp. building.  Hot on his heels was the Terrible Teflon Terror™, Son Chi-Chi herself.

Mirai Trunks shuddered, feeling a tinge of sympathy for Gohan.  Sure, the guy's alternate self had enslaved his universe, and turned the Z-senshi into babies, but honestly.  No one deserved this.

Krillin blinked, as Goku and Vegeta exited the house, followed by two replicas of themselves, who looked like they'd narrowly escaped a costume party gone bad.  Before Krillin even had a chance to ask a question, the sky grew dark, and ominous clouds roiled in from all sides, whipping up winds, and making things generally spooky looking.

Gohan, believing it was an omen predicting his doom, fell to his knees and covered his head, still horribly confused as to just what he'd done wrong.  

Videl, attracted by the screams, exited the building, telephone in hand.  The faint sound of outraged ranting could be heard coming from the receiver.  Looking up at the sky, her raging father forgotten, Videl exclaimed, "What's going on around here?!"

Goku knew.  Vegeta knew.  Bulma, Chi-Chi, Gohan, 18, Krillin and Mirai Trunks all knew.  Shenlong had been summoned.

"But how," Krillin whispered.  As far as any of them were aware, Dende was still on probation.

Super Trunks knew.  His younger self was a true son of their father.  "Chibi Trunks!" he moaned, "Chibi Trunks and Goten have summoned the Dragon!" 

***Whew.  Now that this chapter's done, I think the rain's coming.  After all, there ARE clouds in the sky! *snicker* R&R PLEASE!  Oh, yeah.  I DID steal Sereri from Burenda.  *evil laugh* CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, COPPERS!  Err…officers of the law that I highly respect and always obey I mean….*gulp* ***

**Advertizing**

In the Eyes of a Child _by Kaz Valkyrie _storyid=736138

Due to an accident, Videl is suffering from regression.  I know this sounds like a serious fic, but it's a comedy, featuring Trunks and Goten mischief, and even some Vegeta fun!  Very original, it's a good read!

Gohan the Prince _by Beaner-Bop_ storyid=815609

The Ox King is reviving his kingdom, and you guessed it!  Gohan's now a prince!  Only two chapters up, looks like it's got enormous potential.  Also, I recommend Let's Just Fly by Beaner-Bop.  Good stuff!


	19. A Tail of Two Chibis

Disclaimer—If you are reading this, ff.net is (amazingly) up!  And no.  I still don't own DB/Z/GT.  I was hoping that perhaps with the daily ff.net blackouts, a miracle might occur, but apparently not. *sniff*

A/N—Nothing much to say here, just a general lament at how ff.net keeps going down.  Oh, well.  If you get bored during a blackout, feel free to AIM me (it's in my profile), I'm sure I'll be figuratively beating the crap out of the site, and will be happy for the distraction ^_^

__________________

Dende watched what was occurring on the earth below with wide, disbelieving eyes.  It wasn't fair.  Just two days back on the job, and already he had a disaster of unnatural proportions on his hands.

Fists unconsciously tightening, his little water bottle fountained, then crinkled in his grip, the little green God yelled out, "Popo!  Get over here now!"

Tending the gardens, Mr. Popo rolled his eyes.  He'd known it was too good to be true.  Walking over to the edge of the lookout where Dende stood, crumpled Evion bottle in hand, Mr. Popo sighed, "What do you need, Dende-sama?"

Dende threw the crushed bottle down with a muffled curse.  "The usual, Popo—no, on second thought, bring me two.  I have a feeling that this day is going to end with someone missing some limbs.  I'd rather be anesthetized if Gohan decides that they're going to be mine…"

Mr. Popo bowed in resignation, "Yes sir.  Two Pina Coladas coming right up."

"Oh, and Popo?"

The man paused, "Yes?"

"Hold the umbrella."  
__________________

Chibi Trunks and Goten watched in awe as the glistening form of Shenlong shot out of the dragonballs.  Hovering above the children, the form boomed out, "**_Who summons the Eternal Dragon?"_**

****

Chibi Trunks gulped a bit, and stepped forward, "ME!  Trunks Briefs!"

Goten shoved forward, "Me too!"

Shenlong blinked.  "**_Oh, you two again.  You do realize that all attempts to capture me are futile, do you not?"_**

****

Chibi Trunks had the decency to blush, "Yeah, sorry about that.  We'd just eaten a lot of sugar…"

Goten, however, was still eyeing the huge lizard with a predatory gleam, "Trunks…are you sure we can't…"

"NO!  Goten, no!  We can't keep Shenlong!  We need to wish for your mom to forget all about the wedding!"

Goten was slightly disappointed.  "Alright.  But, hey!  What about the other wish, Trunks?  I mean, there are so many cool things we could wish for!  We could wish for lots of food, so Gohan could never starve us again, we could wish to be stronger than our dads…hehe, we could even wish for tails like our grandpa's!" Goten exclaimed excitedly, "Tails are soooo cool!  Then we could turn into big monkeys like Gohan did when he was a kid!  Boy Trunks, I wish everyone had tails—that would be sooo neat!"

Trunks' mouth dropped open as Goten said the magic words, but the clueless boy continued, oblivious, "Ooh, and I wish we had a—"

"I wish you'd shut up Goten!" Trunks exclaimed furiously, then slapped his hands over his mouth as he realized what he'd said.  "Uh, oh…"

Shenlong's eyes sparkled red for a moment, and the low voice rumbled, **_"Your wishes have been granted…"  Eagerly, Shenlong dematerialized and sped off in seven different directions with the dragonballs.  _**

Away from the prying fingers of lizard obsessed chibis for one more year.  Had he been human, the eternal dragon would have heaved a sigh of relief.

Trunks' eyes widened as the dragonballs zapped off to the four corners of the earth.  Growling, his tail wagged furiously behind him.  Wait…his TAIL?!  

Reaching cautiously behind him, Chibi Trunks grabbed at the flickering sensation that was coming from his lower back.  It was purple.  It was fluffy.  It was a tail.  

Looking over at Goten, he noticed a similar appendage swinging behind the younger boy.  With a low growl he yelped, "GREAT!  Look what you did now, Goten!  We've got tails!  And no more dragonballs!  Gohan's still going to kill us, and now he just has more of us to beat on!"

Goten's eyes filled with tears, and he opened his mouth to protest, but no sound emerged.  True to Trunks' wish, Goten had been _shut up._

__________________

Up on the lookout, Dende watched the little scene unfold with growing dread.  As Mr. Popo returned, carting two Pina Coladas, umbrella free, as ordered, Dende uttered a groan and changed his request.  "Scotch.  On the rocks."

Mr. Popo raised a non-existent eyebrow but nodded.  Starting towards the heavenly liquor cabinet he heard Dende call morosely after him, "AND BRING THE BOTTLE!"

___________________

From his knees, Gohan looked up as the clouds receded, and the sky brightened.  From behind him, he heard a distinct thud, as an event that had never occurred before in all of recorded history took place.  Chi-Chi dropped her frying pan.  Mountains rumbled and the sky shook at the enormity of the event.  Gohan, ever quick on his feet, took the opportunity to flea.  A split second away from blasting off to the far corners of the universe, Gohan stopped as he heard his mother's scream.  Turning slowly around, he blinked several times, and then sat down heavily on the grass.  

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"  Gohan jumped painfully to his feet, clutching the injured appendage gently in his hand.  Gohan had sat directly on his tail.  

Tears streaming from his eyes, he whimpered and nuzzled his tail affectionately.  His tail nuzzled back.  Finally blinking away the pain, Gohan remembered what had caused his shock in the first place.  There, strewn out on the grass, frying pan tossed forlornly to the side, was his mother.  And she had a tail.

"Uhh, dad?" Gohan turned his questioning gaze on his father, "Did mom have a tail before?"

Goku blinked, and looked up from examining his own newly re-grown tail, "Huh?  No…but maybe…maybe they're catching?"

Prince Vegeta rolled his eyes, his tail already tucked securely around his waist, "Don't be a moron, Kakarot.  Oh, wait…I'm asking too much."

The prince yelped in sudden pain as someone grabbed his tail.  Spinning furiously about, he was confronted with…his father.  King Vegeta glared at his son.  How dare he insult Bardock's son, after all the man had done for them? "Now Vegeta, you know better than that.  Apologize to Kakarot this instant!"

Prince Vegeta's face was a study of outraged indignation, "BUT!"

"NO BUTS VEGETA.  Apologize now."  The King growled.

This was insanity!  He was a grown man!  Of course he wished to please his father, but there was no way he was going to apologize to some lowly third class scum for stating the obvious!  Prince Vegeta scowled, and turned his head away.

King Vegeta's eyes narrowed, and he squeezed his son's tail once again, the Saiyan equivalent of a smack upside the head.

"FINE!  I'M SORRY THAT KAKAROT IS SUCH AN IMBECILE THAT HE CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT THAT YOU CAN'T CATCH A TAIL!!!" 

Bardock was about to butt in with a few choice words of his own, when a small whimper was heard from the shade of a nearby tree.  Krillin was huddled close to the bark, something soft and furry wrapped around his waist.  Faintly the words, 'gohan' and 'revenge' and 'no fair' could be heard from the formerly bald man's mouth.  18 stood over him with an atypical look of concern on her normally expressionless face, a shiny golden tail snaking out behind her.  On one limb, little Marron swung happily upside-down from her newly discovered appendage.  

Turning their gazes to the other humans in the group, the dumbfounded Saiyans saw that, indeed, Bulma now sported a snazzy blue tail, and Videl, held a classy black number in one limp palm, muffled bellows still emitting from the phone that dangled forgotten in the other hand.

The two Trunks' looked at each other and shrugged.  Purple.  Again.  Did even their _tails have to be reminiscent of flowers?_

Bardock cleared his throat, containing his surprise quite well.  Having been dead for so long _did have its advantages.  There wasn't too much that could surprise you after forty odd years in Otherworld.  "Perhaps we should continue this inside?"_

Goku shrugged and picked up Chi-Chi, slinging her over his shoulder.  18 gave the whimpering Krillin the same treatment, and the odd group proceeded into the house.

Forgotten on the lawn, lay Chi-Chi's frying pan, and little Marron, who still hung contentedly from the limb of the tree, hopped agilely down, and scurried over to pick up the curious object.  Giving it a little swing, she giggled.  Oh woe!  Another woman armed, and yet another young soul converted to the dark and evil cult known only to its followers, as Chi-Chi-ism.

_____________________

Evil Mirai Gohan kicked his Time Machine with a curse.  "STUPID &#$% @*%# MACHINE!" he shouted.  

From inside the time capsule, Buu growled in agreement.  He wanted to get this show on the road!  After all, a wedding meant cake, and cookies, and chocolate…unable to contain himself any longer, Mirai Buu exclaimed, "CANDY!  YUM YUM!" It was too late.  The deed had been done.  He was in trouble.

Mirai Buu huddled in fear as he saw an evil gleam come into Mirai Gohan's eyes.  Throwing down the wrench with a snarl, Evil Gohan stalked back to the pod, and grabbed Buu by his singular bubble-gum-like antenna.  "You want candy, Buu?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm.

Buu looked frantically to where Cell crouched in the corner of the capsule.  No help from that direction.  "Buu…Buu sorry!" he wailed pathetically, "Buu no want candy!  BUU SORRY!"

The evil gleam never left Gohan's eyes as he yanked Buu from the capsule and shoved the whimpering blob under the hood of the time machine.  Mumbling something about it being 'held together with gum and ticky-tape anyway' Gohan ordered, "Now make it work, Buu, and you'll get all the candy you want.  I promise.  I only have one prize in mind."  Taking out the folded wedding photo of Videl and his other self, Evil Mirai Gohan smirked.  "Oh yes.  You will be mine."

Turning, he kicked the fender of the time machine, and yelled for Buu to hurry the hell up.  He was perfect.  Perfectly evil, perfectly strong, PERFECTLY PERFECT!  "I am THE PERFECT BEING!" roared Mirai Gohan, swinging his wrench about in crazed glee.

From his hiding place inside of the time capsule, Cell smirked.  Humans.  So simple.  Everything was going according to plan, and soon, the truly perfect being would make his re-entrance into the world.  Soon, the Perfect Cell would be reborn.

_______________________

Mr. Satan was upset.  Well, upset was a bit mild.  Screaming didn't do anything, ranting didn't do anything, throwing the phone through the window certainly didn't do anything.  His little baby girl had just called and announced that she was going to marry that pathetic weakling!  The invitation…well, that could have been a mistake, but hearing Videl's sweet voice announcing the atrocity was too much for her doting father to take.

Mr. Satan was not pleased, so naturally, he was letting everyone know about it, "AND MY LITTLE GIRL'S NOT GOING TO MARRY SOME WEAK PUNK WHO HAS TO USE TRICKS," at this, Mr. Satan glanced quickly around, just to make sure none of the 'tricksters' were in ear shot.  Assured that he wasn't in danger of being fried by said 'tricks' he continued to rave, "AND I'LL TAKE HIM ON ANY DAY!  NO ONE'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY VIDEL!"

In the hall, Jeeves took a breath.  Mr. Satan had been allowed to rant for over twenty minutes, and if he wasn't stopped, he would quite likely burst another blood vessel.  Silently asking himself if the Herculean wage he received was really worth it, the brave man stepped into Mr. Satan's bed chamber, narrowly dodging a heavy golden trophy which banged against the wall with a thud, and fell to the floor, leaving a slight dent.  "Uh, sir?  Perhaps you should calm down and think for a moment.  Your blood pressure, remember?"

Hercule turned his wild gaze-eyed on the faithful butler.  Opening his mouth, intent on firing the fool who dared interrupt the World Champion in a rage, the surly Satan noticed something odd.  Poking out behind Jeeves, was…Hercule growled, "What kinda freak are you?  Since when do you have a tail, servant guy?"

Jeeves blinked, and smiled placatingly.  Apparently Hercule needed more than just blood pressure medication.  Backing slowly out the door, Jeeves was wracking his mind for the number of the local loony bin, when he noticed something odd emerging from behind Hercule.  Eyes widening, the poor man almost choked on his own teeth.  Hercule Satan had a tail.  Reaching cautiously behind himself, Jeeves ascertained something equally amazing.  He had one too.

_____________________

Chibi Trunks stared blankly at Goten.  What were they supposed to do now?  

Kicking sullenly at the ground, Trunks watched as Goten yanked cautiously at his new tail.  Giving the other boy a glare, he growled, "It's not going to come off, Goten.  You _wished for it, remember?"_

Goten's eyes saddened, and his lower lip quivered.  Opening his lips, he mouthed, "_No fair, Trunks."_

The older boy turned his head callously.  He didn't care.  It wasn't _his fault that Goten was now a mute.  Ok.  It was.  Breaking down, he ran over and plopped down beside his friend, "Hey, it's ok Goten.  I'm sure we'll find a way out of this somehow…"_

Goten sniffed, and mouthed something again.  The only words that Trunks caught were 'Gohan' and 'starve' and 'die' but he got the message.  Nodding sadly, Trunks couldn't think of any words of comfort for his best friend.  They _were going to die._

So lost were the two in dire predictions of anguish and gloom, they never felt the ki sneaking up on them.  The two flinched as they were grabbed roughly by the back of their necks, and flipped about to face…

"Gohan!" Chibi Trunks squeaked, wide-eyed.  Why did death have to come in such a mild package?  He wouldn't have minded so much if he were slain at the hands of something impressively large with drool and fangs, but…Gohan?  He just failed to project that certain OOMPH that most super-villains oozed out in bucketfuls.

Gohan's eyes narrowed at the pathetic faces that stared woefully up at him.  "Why did you summon the dragon?!  And why the HELL did you wish for everyone to have tails?!  It's the only explanation—did you know that _everyone on this Kami-forsaken planet __now has a tail?!  I saw it on the news before I snuck out to find the two of you.  They're attributing it to radiation or some such nonsense.  _

The only good thing about this, is that you two seem to be single-handedly responsible for a world-wide nuclear disarmament treaty.  Not that that matters much to us, but I'm sure the humans will thank you.  So—what do you have to say for yourselves?"

Trunks gulped and hung his head.  Somehow, impossibly, incredibly, Gohan didn't know of their role in the whole wedding fiasco yet.  They might just escape this situation alive.  "Sorry Gohan," Chibi Trunks whispered.  Humility was the key in situations like this. 

             "_He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight."—Sun Tzu1_

Vegeta made him study up on military strategy.  Even EARTH military strategy.  Chibi Trunks sent a silent prayer of thanks up to the ancient military genius who dictated his actions.  When dealing with Gohan, every little bit helped.

Gohan dropped Chibi Trunks to the ground, appeased by his apology, and turned his razor-sharp eyes on Chibi Goten.  "And you, little brother?  What do YOU have to say for yourself?"

From his safe position on the ground, Chibi Trunks flinched as he watched Gohan shake his now mute friend.  Coming to the rescue, Trunks volunteered bravely, "Uh, Gohan?  Goten can't answer…I kinda accidentally, umm, wished his voice away after he wished for everyone to have tails…" 

Chibi Trunks flinched, waiting for a blow that never came.  Looking cautiously up, he saw Gohan looking at his younger brother, stricken.  "Is it…true?"  At Goten's solemn nod, Gohan sank to his knees.  "Mom…is going to kill us all…" he mumbled dazedly.  "There are no dragonballs for the next year.  We are SO DEAD."

Chibi Trunks couldn't help but nod in agreement.  He wondered to himself who would have come out victor in a battle between the brilliant Sun Tzu, and the terrifying Son Chi-Chi.  He wouldn't have cared to make a bet.

_____________________

Up on the lookout, Dende sat amidst a pile of empty glass bottles.  It took a lot to get a God hammered, especially a God like Dende who liked his Pina Coladas strong and plentiful, but in a very short amount of time, it had been managed.

"POOOPOOOO!  Brin' me s'more!" Dende hiccupped.

Mr. Popo looked at the drunken guardian in disgust.  On one hand, Dende was God, on the other, he was a teenage Namek in desperate fear of his life.  This had to stop.  

Walking gently up, Mr. Popo put a hand on Dende's shoulder, "Dende-sama, this is enough," he said firmly, "you have a problem, and you need to admit it."

Dende shrugged the comforting hand off roughly, "Lemme alone." Staggering drunkenly to the side of the lookout, Dende took off in search of a liquor store.  Mr. Popo could do nothing but gape in awe.  Streaming out behind Dende was a fuzzy, green tail.  Reaching behind himself, he discovered that he now possessed a similar appendage.  The horror…

Drunken gods walking the street, Chi-Chi on the verge of waking, and a world full of tails set the scene for chaos.  Peeking over the edge of the lookout, Mr. Popo picked up a half empty bottle of Saki that Dende had happened to overlook.  Taking a swig, he reflected wryly, that the old cliché had it right.  If you can't beat 'em, you might as well join 'em.

(1) This quote comes from the Art of War _by Sun Tzu_

***It's 5:30 am and I wrote this on a caffeine high!  A wonderful stimulant, ne?  R&R please!***

**~Advertizing~**

**Wild Occurrences—_formerly by MintlytheBADGoddess has been adopted by Burenda.  I seem to advertise Burenda a lot, ne?  Well, it's because she's a great writer!  The first eight chapters were written by Mintly (who is also a good writer!) and Burenda has just finished and posted a new chapter.  In this story, Pan uses a prototype time machine to travel into the past, but ends up in an alternate present where Vegeta-sei still exists... and she's on it. T/P.  All the reviews were deleted when this story was transferred to Burenda's account, so don't judge by that!  storyid=820176_**

As for other advertising, well…ff.net's been down so much lately, that I really haven't been able to read much of anything else!  Let's all send some happy wishes up to the ff.net administrators that our beloved site will stabilize soon!!!


	20. Plots...the evil kind

Disclaimer—I am not allergic to blueberry yogurt, no matter what my dreams tell me.  On that same note, no matter how many times I dream it, I will never own DB/Z/GT.  *sniff*

A/N—YAY!  FF.net is up!  Guess what?  I didn't do a %#$@* thing while it was down, just sulked, so don't expect a lot of updates ^_^ hehe.  I took a break.  It was nice.  BUT, I suspect you're already flooded with updates, so you don't really give a &*$% ne?  I really love censoring my words.  My, I can cuss all the ^#%$ @*$% #^$* time now!  And still rate it low!  

______________________

A wailing roar came from the upstairs rooms of Capsule Corporation.  There were loud crashes, rending cracks as furniture met its maker, and generally demonic howls emanating from the place.  

Sitting in front of the television (by force of motherly threat) watching the latest Z-TV update, Chibi Trunks and Goten looked at each other and shrugged.  Noticing the wide-eyed looks of their newly acquired grandparents, they took it upon themselves to explain.

"Mom," Chibi Trunks began.

'Videl,' gestured Goten, making a girlish face, following it up with devil horns, not at all perturbed by his inability to speak.

"And Ms. Chi-Chi," Trunks finished with a shudder, "They just found out that they've got tails, and I don't think they're very happy about it."

This statement was punctuated by a loud bang, a cry of "No, Videl, please!" and then silence for a second.  An evilly feminine laugh followed, and then the yelps of "woman" and "Chi-Chi" followed by two loud clangs.  The rest was silence.

Bardock and King Vegeta eyed each other apprehensively.  They didn't even want to know.  The zapping sound of snow, followed by a corny canned melody that was supposed to signify the importance of the announcement, drew all eyes to the television set.  A man who attempted to look slickly important stepped onto the screen.  

"Hello, this is Byron Nosir, with your Z-TV action news report.  The strange tail phenomenon," There was a faint waving behind the man, obviously his own tail, "has taken a turn for the even more bizarre.  We take you now, on scene at the world renowned Buildanose Clinic in downtown Satan City for word on recent events."  

The screen blurred for a moment, and a petite blonde woman stepped on camera.  "Hello, this is Ani Byutifl, reporting from the Buildanose Clinic, where Hercule Satan is holding a press conference about this recent er…TAIL." Ani Byutifl grinned saucily at her pun, "Taking you now, live, to coverage of Hercule Satan's press conference."

The menacing mien of the mealymouthed martial arts….er….master, engulfed the screen.  Caught in mid-rant, Hercule was the very picture of outraged indignation, "And I say that it's all the fault of these aliens.  First they come and blow up East City, then they try to get in my way when I'm defeating Cell, and now they have the NERVE to give us all tails!  It's some kind of mind control device!" Hercule ranted this all in one breath, entirely oblivious to the fact that the events WERE connected.  In his mind, suspicious events were suspicious events, and he might as well use them to his advantage.  Taking another lungful, Hercule continued, "I advise all good citizens to do what I have done, and rid themselves of this menace!" At this statement, the mighty champ spun dramatically about, and yanked down his trousers, showing a large white bandage where a curly afro tail had formerly swung.  The crowd blanched and several fainted as they were presented with the mighty hiney of the Great Hercule Satan.  Hercule continued, oblivious to the effect of the er….full moon….on the crowd, "Get them removed!  And if you come and get them removed here, at the Buildanose Clinic on downtown Satan street, you'll get a complimentary sticker that says, "Tailless like Satan!"

The picture of Mr. Satan ranting face faded away, to reveal the sickly visage of the now very pale Byron Nosir.  "Well, you saw—er—heard it folks," the man exclaimed weakly, "Mr. Satan's announcement has spurred a flurry of plastic surgery appointments, dramatically hiking the statistics in that field, currently, 96% of all people on the planet, have or will soon have had, at least one plastic surgery operation.  That makes it almost as popular as sliced bread!" the man exclaimed, recovering his oily demeanor and his sleazy smile.

"Uh, actually Byron," interjected a voice from off camera, "It's rather MORE popular than sliced—"

A muffled thump, followed by an agonized yelp ripped everyone's attention away from the argument on the television screen.  Standing high on the couch stood Bardock, as close to teary-eyed as the warrior had ever come, protectively clutching his tail, muttering profanities unfit for chibi ears.  On the floor at the base of the couch, stood little Marron, head cocked innocently, deadly weapon of mass destruction held in her hand, little blonde tail swinging lazily behind her.  With a giggle, Marron jumped at the two boys seated in front of the television, positively delighted at this new game.  Frying pan swinging gleefully, Marron chased the boys happily around the room.  Round two of 'Smash the Tail' had begun.

_______________________

*VROOOOM!*  Evil Mirai Gohan gave a cackle of glee as the time machine roared to life.  

From inside the cantankerous contraption, Mirai Buu gave a little wail as the parts pressed and pulled, stretching and squeezing his tacky-like body.  Poor Buu—to go from legendary evil monster to makeshift wad of chewing gum.  Poor Buu.

Hopping into the time machine, Mirai Gohan gave an excited grin and revved the engine.  From beside him, Mirai Cell smirked a secretive little smirk.

Reaching out, with only a moment's hesitation, the devilish demi-saiyan pushed the big flashing red button on the dashboard that read, "Trust Me You REEEEAAAAALLLLYYY Don't Want To Push This."

Rumbling, the time machine disappeared in a bright flash of light, transporting two plotters, and one badly chewed wad of bubble gum into a future, unknown.

______________________

Dende stumbled resentfully out of the liquor shop.  Why did the humans run screaming when they saw him?  Was it the tail?

Most of the establishments Dende visited were already abandoned, as a world of people came to terms with their new furry appendages, and the few that did retain their staff, quickly closed shop when they saw Dende stumbling their way.

"What's a God gotta do t'getta drink 'round here?" he muttered, wobbling over to a large lamppost and sliding down to rest at its base.

Sitting sullenly on the ground, Dende kicked at a few stray pebbles.  He knew that he'd failed his ten-step program, and now all he wanted was to get well and truly wasted before he had to get back on that Godly wagon again.  With a drunken snicker Dende corrected himself, Godly CHARIOT.  He'd never be able to usher in the sun in a wagon!

Snickering on, and making a few more allusions to Greek myth, Dende was shocked out of his little game by a bright flash of light.

A large, egg shaped vehicle descended abruptly from the heavens, making Dende's liquor clouded mind jump to the conclusion that perhaps Apollo was actually there, angry at Dende for stealing his thunder.

Pulling himself to his feet, Dende walked woozily up to the vessel and pounded on the side, "HEY!  APOLLO!  Come on, Man, I was jusht kidding!  Don't be a shore lozher!  Iszh not MY fault I'm Kami…" Staggering a little more, Dende fell to the ground, and snoring, began to drool as his body struggled to metabolize all of the liquor he'd drunk.

The door to the vehicle popped open with a little hiss, and Mirai Gohan lurched out, clutching his head, "Whoo, that was some ride, but at least we made it!"  

Taking a step forward, he tripped over something, and landed on his bottom with a thump.  Lurching to his feet, he spun and glared angrily to see…Dende?  Mirai Gohan's lips grew into a twisted smile.  This couldn't have gone better had he planned it.  Reaching down, he grabbed the little green god by the back of his neck and slung him over one shoulder.  

Evil Gohan winced as a thin trail of Dende's drool streamed down his neck, and almost dropped the little Namek in surprise at the furry green tail that emerged from beneath his clothing.  

Shrugging it off as yet another irregularity in an already %#&!'d up world, Mirai Gohan tossed Dende into the ship's cockpit, and kicked the fender.  "Get this piece of &$%# into the air, Buu, or no candy for a week," he ordered, cruelly.

With a terrified whimper, Buu began huffing and puffing, trying with all his might to get the craft airborne.  No candy for a week.  Evil Mirai Gohan was a cruel master indeed.

____________________

Goku glanced warily at his fellow captives.  It was hour two of the Capsule Corps. Hostage Crisis, and _they_ were the captives.  "Now Chi-Chi, come on, it's not that bad, and I swear I had nothing to do with it!  Gohan told you it was the kids!"

Gohan flinched as his mother's attention was redirected to him.  He already had more than enough trouble with Videl spearing him with her eyes.  It didn't help matters that he found the black tail whipping behind her absolutely fascinating.  Opening his mouth, Gohan repeated his earlier explanation, "Trunks and Goten accidentally wished for everyone on the planet to have tails.  Err…" gulping, he added, "AndTrunksaccidentallywishedGotenmuteaswell."  Fortunately Chi-Chi was too occupied by the whole 'everyone in the world now has a tail' thing, to notice this last hurried phrase.  Gohan scowled, contemplatively, he still didn't know what those two had been _trying_ to wish for.  He wasn't sure if he WANTED to know.

"And what's YOUR part in this again?" the blue tailed speaker's voice was harsh, her eyes narrowed in a glare.

Vegeta glared back, "NOTHING!  If you didn't insist on hanging out with Kakarot, and his spawn, and his demon of a mate all the time, none of this would have happened!"

Bulma, Videl and Chi-Chi momentarily tried to follow this completely illogical train of thought, but, unable to comprehend the twisted mysteries of the male mind, they shrugged in unison, and left Vegeta to Bulma.  Two whacks and a tail pinch later, the women adjourned to the other side of the room to discuss the situation with 18, and the two Mirai's who had carefully stayed out of it, avoiding their mother's wrath.

"Kakarot," the voice was a whisper, almost indistinguishable from the murmurs from across the room.

"Huh?" Goku peered warily out of the corner of his eye, to see Vegeta gesturing at him with his head inclined.  Scooting a little closer, he whispered back, "What is it, Vegeta?"

"We're getting out of here," Vegeta breathed.  "The onnas have gone insane.  I saw it on the television the last time the gravity room broke down and I had nothing to do.  It's called 'cult behavior'.  I heard the brat's mate," he gestured to Gohan, "talking about some 'Order of the Pan.' That's obviously what they're calling themselves."

Goku's eyes took on a look of horror, "Oh no, Vegeta, what are we going to do?  I've heard of cults, don't they…torture small animals and things?" 

Vegeta grunted, "More likely torture big Saiyans, and they know that we have no defense against those stupid pans."  With another quick glance around, the three stranded Saiyans set about making plans of escape.  Anything to escape the horrifying 'Order of the Pan.'

_______________________

"So you believe them?" Videl asked, with a suspicious glance back at the scheming men.

Chi-Chi sighed, "Yeah.  I don't really see how or WHY they'd all conspire to make us grow tails all of the sudden."

18 blinked, and nodded.  "I suppose.  So, Chi-Chi, what are you going to do now that you've lost your frying pan?"  
  


Chi-Chi shrugged.  When she had woken up, she'd noticed that her frying pan was gone.  It wasn't in the dimensional pocket where she usually kept it, and it was no where in sight, "Oh, I was talking to Videl about that earlier, I'm just going to order a new pan.  There's a magazine out called, 'Order of the Pan' or something corny like that.  I've been thinking of getting a new one for a while."

Shrugging, the women resumed their attempts to wake poor Krillin, while the Mirai's sat quietly to the side, not even venturing a peep, purple tails curled nervously around their waists.

_____________________

The game ended as Bardock swept up the chibi menace, and removed her instrument of torment.  Frying pan in one hand, giggling chibi Marron clinging to the other, Bardock sighed and took a good look at the situation.  Here was he, forty years dead, still dressed in the annoying garb of Otherworld, still stuck with the ANNOYING wings, still followed around by that %@#$ harp (which would shortly be returning to Otherworld by itself, if it persisted in its intrusiveness), and on his wrist clung a little blonde chibi, swinging upside down by her newly acquired tail and laughing her little head off.  

Laid low by the cruel little girl, were Chibi Trunks and Goten, curled up into hunched balls, hugging their tails woundedly.  Even King Vegeta had not escaped unscathed.  The older Vegeta had lost his pitchfork somewhere in the mess, and one of his horns had come loose, and was now dangling to reveal the glue marks where it had been attached.

Bardock sighed.  Either the living world had changed significantly in the past forty or so years, or these people were insane.  Plopping Marron down on the couch, Bardock reached around and unclipped the wings drooping from his back, "Hey, Vegeta," he called to the King.

Vegeta looked up from re-attaching the little broken point to the end of his tail, "What do you want, Bardock, I'm busy!"

Bardock grunted in annoyance, "You might as well take that stuff off.  Your horns are coming loose, and it's starting to look like you're playing some chibi onna's twisted dress up game." Bardock snorted, "I'm sure the Supreme Kai didn't mean for us to wear these things the WHOLE time we were down here."  

At this point, the happy little harp interrupted Bardock for the last time, and was reduced to a pile of ashes and twanging strings.  Ignoring the sadly discordant notes that floated from the remains, Bardock stood refreshed in the plain white robe, rid of the itchy wings and the pushy harp.  King Vegeta stared at him for a moment, then shrugged, and followed suit until he stood clothed in a simple pair trousers and a shirt, his horns replaced by a halo.  

"I sure as hell hope you're right, Bardock," King Vegeta muttered, staring at the discarded junk.  It wasn't that he wanted to wear the crap, but the Supreme Kai had insisted…

_________________

The Supreme Kai stared down in amusement at Bardock and King Vegeta.  He was rather surprised that the warriors had left the corny costumes on as long as they had.  "Oh well," he sighed.  The joke had been over as soon as Gohan had stopped screaming anyway.  Perhaps now it was time for the real game to begin.

Peering curiously down from his perch in Otherworld, the Supreme Kai saw that events were unfolding just as he'd feared.  And it would all begin, with the delivery of a letter.

__________________

Mr. Popo looked up in surprise at the egg like machine that labored heavily over the edge of the lookout.  

Carefully putting aside the bottle of water that he had wisely substituted for the liquor, Mr. Popo stood up and approached the hovering object.  

With a loud creak, the lid flipped open, and a folded piece of paper was tossed out.  An evil cackle sounded, and the machine scooted away into the distance, disappearing into the harsh glare of the sun.

With a worried glance after it, Mr. Popo stepped forward and picked up the note.  Giving it a quick look-over, he paled to a light brown color, and yelled out anxiously to the only other person now residing on the lookout, "Piccolo, come quick!  Dende's been God-napped!"

***After this long absence, I don't know if I will be able to resume my earlier posting schedule.  I may drop back to once a week, seeing as I have recently rediscovered the sunlight.  Gomen!  R&R please!***


	21. And The Plot Thick--wait, there's a PLOT...

Disclaimer--Eye dont owne draginbalz.  
  
A/N--*bows repeatedly* Sorry for the lateness of this! I'm just...blah. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter ^_^ Oh, and a big thanks to Burenda. She's practically King Kai's disciple I tell you, and she provided his...unique bit of humor.  
  
_________________________  
  
Piccolo looked down at the note in horror. He'd recognize that handwriting anywhere. Everytime he'd given Gohan a break in his training, Chichi had been right there, shoving the books under his nose, reminding him that if he wanted to be a scholar, he had better finish his homework. Gohan had, of course, complied; not due to any desire to be a scholar, or even the fact that he wished to please his mother. Gohan had complied because Chichi was just plain scary, a well known fact among the small Saiyan community of earth. Looking down at the note he held, Piccolo saw that his prediction, somewhere, in some universe, had come true. Gohan had broken under the stress.  
  
Dearest Popo--*giggle*  
  
Popopopopopopopopopo. Such a silly name. Well, aaaaaanyway, just dropping you a note to let you know I've kidnapped that low-down back-stabbing sotten excuse for a god Dende, and if you want him back, I want YOU to bring me Videl. She was MY wife, MINE. Why did they all turn against me Popo? Just because I chibified everyone, hmph. Well, they deserved it. Bring me Videl, Popo, or Dende'll end up in so many pieces he'll spend the next ten years trying to regenerate. Piccolo will know where to find me. Ask Piccolo. My only friend. Hi Piccolo!  
  
Signed Sincerely, Gohan the Great, Almighty Ruler of the Universe, and Half of the Heavens (Ok, I made that last part up, but it sounds good, doesn't it Mr. Piccolo? Don't you think?)  
  
Mr. Popo turned a pained look on Piccolo as he finished reading the letter, "Isn't he a bit..."  
  
"Yes." Piccolo nodded sadly, "Cracked like a nut."  
  
______________________  
  
"So, Bardock. What do you think we should do next?" King Vegeta sat on the couch with an annoyed expression on his face. They'd been left here alone for more than an hour, and this wasn't particularly how he wanted to spend his free day on earth.  
  
Bardock shrugged and looked up at the stairs, hoping to see his son or Prince Vegeta. On the floor Chibi Marron sat happily, playing with her frying pan after swearing a solemn vow to bash no more tails with it. Chibi Trunks and Goten had disappeared some time ago, the panic this would usually have caused not evidencing for the simple fact that Bardock and King Vegeta had no idea just how evil their grandchildren were.  
  
Taking another hopeful glance at the stairway, Bardock was surprised to see something slithering along the floor. Getting carefully to his feet, he inched closer to see Prince Vegeta crawling in guerrilla fashion, arguing vehemently with someone beside him, "Shut up Kakarot, they'll hear you!"  
  
"But Vegeta," the second voice replied, "Chichi's always like this. I really think you're over-reacting with this whole cult thing."  
  
"Then what," the prince growled, "Has happened to the onna? She's gone insane! If it's not this cult thing, then it's obviously YOUR MATE! She's a bad influence--"  
  
"Will you BOTH shut up?" snapped a voice from the rear. Gohan was crouched on his hands and knees behind the older saiyans and his voice was tight with annoyance, "Does it really matter WHY? If you two would just shut up and stop arguing--"  
  
Two indignant voices cut him off.  
  
"Now Gohan--"  
  
"HOW DARE YOU BRAT--"  
  
"JUST SHUT THE &$^# UP WOULD YOU?!" This last, inevitable outburst from Gohan was so loud, it would have taken a miracle for the women to miss it. Fortunately, with Dende temporarily out of commission, miracles were allowed to happen.  
  
As the three Saiyans on the stairs, and the two Saiyans and half cyborg in the living room held their breath, not a peep was heard from the upstairs rooms that contained the women.  
  
Goku, Gohan and Prince Vegeta let out a sigh of relief. Somehow, inexplicably, they had missed it. Unfortunately even a miracle couldn't conceal the piercing scream that followed. Wide-eyed, Goku, Gohan and the prince followed Bardock and King Vegeta into the kitchen to see the source of the scream lying writhing on the floor, still emitting helpless little mewls of distress.  
  
"Goten!" Goku rushed to his son and picked up the shuddering boy. "What happened?" He demanded, piercing the shell shocked Chibi Trunks with a stare.  
  
Trunks dazedly shook his head. "I...I told him not to...." with a little gulp he continued, " Goten...he ate...IT."  
  
Prince Vegeta's eyes widened, "IT?!"  
  
Chibi Trunks nodded fearfully, "We were looking for something to eat, and...and I was telling him about IT, and he said he could probably eat IT and live."  
  
"Whoa," Gohan butt in, "Just what is IT?"  
  
Chibi Trunks and Prince Vegeta looked at each other, and the prince nodded slowly. "IT," he explained, "is something so awful, so terrible, that IT was hidden in the back of the refrigerator and forgotten, many years ago. IT is a threat to Saiyans and humans alike, IT is the most terrible thing imaginable--"  
  
"IT is this fruitcake mom made a few years ago," Chibi Trunks explained. "We hid IT back there because the garbage men weren't willing to take IT."  
  
"Oh," Goku nodded understandingly, "So that's why we had chinese takeout for dinner that one Christmas...but...that smell--you said you were fumigating the house!"  
  
Chibi Trunks smiled queasily, "It wasn't a lie. We haven't had so much as an ant since then."  
  
At this point, Goten stirred in Goku's arms and cracked open one eye, "I ate IT, Trunks!" he croaked triumphantly.  
  
Chibi Trunks eyes filled with tears, "You baka! You could have been killed- -wait!" Chibi Trunks' eyes widened in awe, "Goten, you can talk!"  
  
Gohan, observing from the sidelines nodded wisely, "I guess even a wish granted by the eternal dragon couldn't suppress that kind of horror. And that first scream...it must have let it all loose."  
  
Bardock opened his mouth, about to comment, but he was shoved roughly aside as Chichi barrelled into the kitchen, "What's going on here?! Goten, my poor baby, what have they done to you?!"  
  
Chibi Trunks quickly sat down on the fuzzy mold-covered dish that had contained IT, effectively hiding it from view as Bulma and Videl pushed their way into the room, followed closely by 18, the Trunks', and Krillin who was blinking sleepily, still a bit dazed.  
  
Bulma's brow furrowed suspiciously and she sniffed the air, scenting her prey in the trembling, nervous glare of her mate. "What have you been up to? Why does the kitchen smell like....mothballs?"  
  
Goten coughed and fought back a gag. He'd known that IT had tasted familiar somehow.  
  
Both older Trunks' eyes widened and Mirai Trunks looked at Super Trunks and nodded. They remembered IT too.  
  
Opening her mouth to comment furthur, Bulma was cut off by a voice inside of her head, "Ahh, it's a good thing you're all gathered together there!"  
  
At the sound of the voice, Gohan's eyes widened and he emitted a tiny whimper, "Voices..."  
  
"Don't worry Gohan, I'm real. This is King Kai here. I'm calling long distance, and these rates are KILLING me...," a muffled giggle, "Maybe I should call collect." Another snicker. "Get it? Long distance? Rates? Call collect? Bwahahahaha!!!"  
  
"Unless you want me to 'call collect' on your LIFE FORCE, I'd suggest you get on with it!" Prince Vegeta snapped in annoyance  
  
King Kai snickered, "Oh, that's good. Call collect on my life force... anyway, I'm just calling you folks on behalf of Piccolo, since he's the acting Kami of earth."  
  
Goten's brow furrowed and he exclaimed, "Huh? Why's Mr. Piccolo Kami? I thought Dende-sama was Kami! What happened to Dende-sama?"  
  
A stunned silence filled the room, and every head save Goten, who was too weak, and Bardock and King Vegeta who had not yet been apprised of the situation, swiveled to stare suspiciously at Gohan.  
  
"Huh? Don't look at me, I didn't do it!" Gohan yelped defensively.  
  
King Kai chuckled, "Well, actually Gohan, in a sense, you did, just not the you that you know, the you that Mirai Trunks knows."  
  
Everyone save Mirai Trunks stared blankly at the ceiling. "Umm, King Kai," Goku put in hesitantly, "That didn't really make much sense--"  
  
"He's here," Mirai Trunks whispered, dread coating his voice with an icy white pallor.  
  
"Who? Who's here?" Super Trunks demanded, shaking his terrified counterpart hard enough to rattle his teeth.  
  
"You're right, Trunks," King Kai replied, three heads lifted at the sound of their name, and King Kai continued, "Evil Mirai Gohan has returned to this universe."  
  
There was a moment of stunned silence, and then a loud thump, as with little a groan, Gohan flopped to the floor and banged his head against the linoleum. "Great. Just GREAT!"  
  
_______________________  
  
Erasa walked from the Buildanose Clinic, "Tailless Like Satan" sticker perched proudly on the left side of her chest. Glancing at her companion, she wrinkled her nose, "Shaaarpie! Why didn't you get that thing removed? It's....weird. And you heard what Mr. Satan said!"  
  
Sharpener nodded and toyed with the tip of his limp blonde tail. He'd never admit it, but he actually kind of liked the thing. He'd always wanted a tail. "I already told you babe, they didn't have anymore slots open today. I made an appointment for day after tomorrow."  
  
Erasa nodded guiltily. It wasn't Sharpener's fault he was stuck with that thing. In fact, though she'd never admit it, she actually thought it was kinda cute.  
  
As the vacuous duo walked unknowingly down the street, and into danger, Mirai Gohan stood cursing on a nearby street corner.  
  
_______________________  
  
"Damn stupid piece of &$^% CRAP!" He shouted, giving the recalcitrant time machine one last kick. In the back, Dende snored drunkenly away, oblivious to the fact that Gohan planned on making God-shishkabob out of him.  
  
Inside of the cabin, watching over Dende, Mirai Cell plotted. *Is now the time to make my move? I am the perfect being...and once I absorb the Maste- -NO! Gohan, the BRAT, once I absorb Gohan and that fool Buu, I will be the....well, the MORE Perfect Cell!!!!! MUAUAHAHAHAHAHA........*  
  
Mirai Cell's internal laughter trailed off as he stalked cautiously towards the door of the time machine. Mirai Gohan stood with his back turned, cursing colorfully in several different languages, kicking the fender of the time machine hard enough to leave a dent.  
  
With a small smirk of evil pleasure, Mirai Cell crept up behind Mirai Gohan, his lips twisting into a triumphant snarl. Raising his tail high into the air, Mirai Cell whipped the appendage down with unerring accuracy, the singing whine of displaced air a victorious anthem proclaiming his victory, when....  
  
"GOOOOOHAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!"  
  
Mirai Cell scowled and slipped quickly back into the shadows as the blondes nuisiances approached Mirai Gohan. They may have interrupted his plans, but not for long. Mirai Gohan's days were numbered. Mirai Cell would once again be the strongest being in the universe!  
  
_______________________  
  
Evil Mirai Gohan looked up in horror as he heard his name called. It couldn't be. There was no way that they could exist in this universe too-- it was impossible....seeing the grinning Erasa and Sharpener jogging towards him, Mirai Gohan concluded that it WAS possible. He also concluded that King Kai, or whoever had arranged for this had a very twisted sense of humor.  
  
Glaring darkly at the approaching duo, Mirai Gohan considered blasting them. He recalled fondly the day he had shipped Sharpener off the planet Yresim. It was a tiny ice planet in the same solar system as Yardreb. He'd needed someone to man the outpost there and his good old buddy was perfect for the job. The average daily high topped out at -43 degrees Farenheit, and there were a total of 13 hours of sunlight in the entire year, which was roughly approximate to 400 earth days. Gohan thought it was an appropriate posting for Shapener. Last he'd heard, the post had been running low on everything from matches to rubber duckies. Gohan hadn't bothered to send a supply shipment.  
  
Erasa was another story. Somehow she'd managed to become the leader of the human resistance force fighting against his rule. Mirai Gohan scowled at the bubbly airhead before him. How carefully she managed to hide her brain under those blonde masses.  
  
Forcing a smile to his face, Mirai Gohan greeted the duo cheerfully, "Sharpener, buddy! Erasa, how are you?"  
  
Sharpener's grin was huge, "Dude! You already got your tail removed," he exclaimed pointing to Mirai Gohan's behind, "Why didn't we see you there?"  
  
Thinking quick, Mirai Gohan replied, "Oh, I went early." He had no idea what his 'friends' were talking about, but he HAD noticed the odd fact that this Sharpener touted a greasy blonde tail, slightly bent in the middle.  
  
"Say," Mirai Gohan inquired innocently, a wonderful plan leaping to mind, "How would you two like to take a ride with me in my new...er...car?"  
  
Erasa's eyes lit with wonder, "You...you mean it Gohan?!" she squealed ecstatically.  
  
Sharpener leapt into the cabin, with Erasa close behind. Mirai Gohan winced as Erasa groped him in passing, seemingly out of instinct, and exerted all of his willpower, focusing on NOT destroying them. YET.  
  
Giving the fender one last kick as Buu finally got it running, Evil Mirai Gohan smirked in delight at the girlish scream that emitted from the cabin. From the pitch and the terror the scream held, he guessed that Sharpener had met Mirai Cell.  
  
Climbing into the contraption, Mirai Gohan smirked. His present self might not go to any trouble to rescue Dende, but there was no way that Mr. Goody- Two-Shoes would let Sharpener and Erasa suffer. Videl was as good as his....  
  
______________________  
  
Gohan kept his eyes fixed straight ahead of him, trying to ignore Videl's twitching tail as she flew beside him towards the lookout.  
  
King Kai had insisted that they all adjourn to the lookout immediately, and had refused to clue them in on what was happening.  
  
Bardock and King Vegeta flew side by side, discussing King Kai's words in hushed voices, and Prince Vegeta flew next to them with Bulma in his arms, casting Chichi and Goku wary and pissed-off looks, respectively.  
  
The three Trunks' flew together, giving the impression of an odd purple blur against the clouds, while 18 half supported Krillin, who seemed to be arguing with himself, and carried Marron in one arm.  
  
Beside his parents, Goten, still a bit queasy from his ordeal, had opted to ride Flying Nimbus, and the cloud, with some inherent sense of mischief, turned crazed loop-de-loops, rendering the poor boy a rather lovely shade of green.  
  
Finally landing on Kami's lookout, the group was confronted with the morose faces of Piccolo and Mr. Popo. Tight lipped, Piccolo held the note Evil Mirai Gohan had delivered out for Goku to read.  
  
Vegeta watched Goku puzzle out the letter for several long seconds before snatching it from his hands, and reading it aloud with an exasperated glare at his rival.  
  
"Dearest Popo," With a sarcastic look, Vegeta added the silly giggle, face contorting into an expression of pained disgust. As the letter drew to a close, he finished mockingly, "Signed Sincerely, Gohan the Great, Almighty Ruler of the Universe, and Half of the Heavens (Ok, I made that last part up, but it sounds good, doesn't it Mr. Piccolo? Don't you think?)" Rolling his eyes ironically at the Gohan standing before him, he stated dryly, "No. It doesn't."  
  
Gohan wrenched his eyes from the appendage twitching so bewitchingly from Videl's backside, and yanked his hand guiltily back from where it had been headed. "Huh?"  
  
Vegeta smirked, "Forget it brat. Continue with what you were doing."  
  
"What?" Videl glared suspiciously at Gohan, "And just what was he doing?"  
  
Vegeta grinned evilly, "Well it looked to me like he was about to grab your a--"  
  
"Dende's been godnapped!" Gohan yelped, "Isn't it terrible? We really need to do something...heh...." Gohan smiled weakly at Videl's angry glare and Chichi's ecstatic sigh.  
  
Piccolo nodded seriously, "Yes, that is the subject at hand, the question is, what are we going to do about it?"  
  
Gohan sighed in relief at the change of subject and wandered over to where Goten still perched queasily on Flying Nimbus. Sitting on the edge of the cloud, he wracked his brain. On the cusp of a brilliant idea, Gohan was yanked back to earth by the seductive allure of Videl's tail as it twitched in agitation at the long silence. It was beautiful...*So supple, so sleek, so....*  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!" Gohan hit the ground with a hard thump and stared angrily up at Flying Nimbus. "What was that for?" He demanded glaring at the golden mass that still held Goten perched safely above the ground.  
  
Nimbus winked an innocent golden color, and Goku came up behind his son and put a hand on his shoulder, "Having impure thoughts, Gohan?" He whispered with a little smirk.  
  
Nimbus seemed to quiver with suppressed laughter, and Gohan shot it an embarassed glare. That cloud was really beginning to get on his nerves.  
  
"Nevermind that," Piccolo growled, saving his old student from any more embarrassment. "It's time for us to go meet this Mirai Gohan and figure out just what it is he wants."  
  
"So the note was right," Vegeta growled, "The Namek knows where the brat is hiding."  
  
Piccolo stood silent for a moment, an expression of immense dignity gracing his features, then, looking Vegeta straight in the eye, one antenna twitching in annoyance, growled, "Not a clue."  
  
***Hope you liked it. This chapter was dragged out with the assistance of the jaws of life. I'd like to thank everyone on the emergency rescue crew for helping to release this chapter--arigato! Thanks to those of you who emailed me--you really cheered me up!***  
  
Advertising--Read something by Sparrow319. She's a really good author! Oh, and Chibi Vegeta by Burenda. Very funny--think of all the horrible ways a chibified Vegeta could be tortured and throw them into one story! Vegeta deserves it--he was mean to Trunks! *sniff*... 


	22. Perfect at last

Disclaimer—If I owned it, I wouldn't be taking out loans for this semester!  Dragonball/Z/GT is the sole and exclusive property of Akira Toriyama and whoever he chose to represent him.

A/N—Okay, I KNOW this has taken forever.  Just let me say that the great majority of that time my computer has been broken.  First the motherboard fried and then the modem refused to work correctly!  I think we ended up reformatting three times, and in the process, I managed to lose half of this chapter, which had to be re-written.  Okay.  Hope that's excuse enough!  Don't know when the next update will be, I'm starting classes on Monday, but I'll try to get it out in the next week, that is if anyone's still reading this *sweatdrop* Anyway, gomen nasai for this chapter's lateness, and poor quality -_-;

A/N 2—This chapter has been edited—I found the original text for the first scene which I liked a lot better than the new stuff, and the second scene has integrated material.

________________________

**A short recap since everyone's likely to have forgotten what the heck is going on.  Mirai Gohan (if you don't remember him, I'm afraid I can't help you) has come to this universe and kidnapped the drunken Dende—what does he want?  Videl of course!  All evil villains want the girl!  To sweeten the deal, he's kidnapped Sharpener and Erasa.  Currently, our heroes are on Kami's lookout trying to figure out just where the heck Mirai Gohan is!  A list of those present on the lookout is as follows: King Vegeta, Bardock, Prince Vegeta, Goku, Mirai Trunks, Super Trunks, Chibi Trunks, Bulma, Chi-Chi, Gohan, Goten, Piccolo, Krillin, Marron, 18, and of course the every loving Mr. Popo.  Characters who do not make their presence known are conveniently minding their own business, and not making mischief at this time.  Alright then, on with the chapter!**  

After a rather lengthy discussion with Bardock and King Vegeta, explaining just who Evil Mirai Gohan was, and just what exactly he wanted, the z-senshi now sat scattered around Kami's lookout, varying expressions of thought and concern decorating their faces.  Bardock and King Vegeta, feeling that they had nothing to add to the group, sparred with Chibi Trunks and Goten, across the lookout.

"So, you're telling me you don't even have a clue as to what he's talking about?" Gohan asked Piccolo, trying to jog his mentor's memory, "I mean, he SAID you'd know where he was talking about.  You don't even have the faintest idea?"

Piccolo glared coolly down at Gohan, "If anyone should know, it should be you.  You ARE him after all," he added pointedly.

"Hey, Piccolo, that's not fair!" Gohan whined, "I'm not evil!"  Looking around frantically for corroboration, he spotted Prince Vegeta lounging against a potted plant, usual disdainful sneer decorating his face.  "Hey, Vegeta!  Tell Piccolo I'm not evil!"

Vegeta merely raised an eyebrow and turned his face away from the pleading teen.  As much as he hated to admit it, Mirai Gohan had an admirable level of evilness.

Gohan bit his lip in frustration and turned his eye on the elder Trunks' who sat sipping at grape sodas.  "Hey, Trunks!" he called out, "I'm a good guy, right?  You know me in the future, tell Piccolo I'm not evil!"

One Trunks stood up and glared angrily at Gohan, "Oh you're evil all right.  In fact, you're the lowest, sneakiest, rottenest, most completely and totally evil person I've ever--"

"Argh!!!!!!!  Not YOU," Gohan growled in frustration, stomping over and shoving Mirai Trunks roughly out of the way, "YOU." He said, leaning over Super Trunks and grasping him by the shoulders, "YOU.  Tell Piccolo I'm NOT EVIL!"

"Well, actually Gohan," Super Trunks muttered a bit wide-eyed, "You're acting awfully evil right now…"

Like a child caught swiping frosting from his birthday cake, Gohan guiltily yanked his hands back from Trunks' shoulders to see the assemblage staring at him with varying levels of amusement and concern.  The only sounds that broke the tense silence were the crashes and thumps caused by the sparring pairs across the deck, along with the occasional pained grunt as Bardock and King Vegeta learned (the hard way) just how strong their grandchildren actually were.

"Well," Videl broke the silence, much to Gohan's relief, "what are we going to do now?  I think that as the bait, I have a right to know!"

"What?  Videl, honey, just what are you talking about?" Chi-Chi exclaimed, hurrying over to the dark-haired girl's side.  "There's no way we'd let you get involved in something like this, it's much too dangerous!  I won't have Gohan's future bride going off and getting herself blown up!"

"But…" Videl sweatdropped, trying to extricate herself from the other woman's grasp, "This other Gohan specifically said he wanted me!  If I don't go, then Dende might be killed!"  At the blank stares of the surrounding company, the sweatdrop rolling down Videl's head grew discernibly larger, "You mean…you didn't catch that…?"

Walking calmly over to the little picnic table where the letter lay, Videl picked it up and read, _"I want YOU to bring me Videl.  She was MY wife, MINE.  Why did they all turn against me Popo?  …Bring me Videl, Popo, or Dende'll end up in so many pieces he'll spend the next ten years trying to regenerate."_

Blushing just the tiniest bit, Videl looked up, "See?"

Gohan sat wide-eyed, the colors of Christmas written alternatingly across his face as he attempted to flush red and green simultaneously.  

Krillin stood beside him, finally back to his old self, not saying a word, just smiling hugely.

Chi-Chi was gone, concern for her future daughter-in-law vanished in a hail of rice and bridal bouquets as she hummed along to the strains of the bridal march played by a itty bitty quartet residing in her inner ear.  

"Well," 18 cleared her throat, "Isn't that amusing."

"No, no!" Gohan shook his head frantically, not quite sure why he was still denying it, prompted perhaps by some primal male instinct specifically designed for avoiding commitment, "I-I--*OOOF*!"

"Ugh," Bardock groaned dazedly, picking himself up off the now prostrate Gohan and rubbing his shoulder, "The boy's…strong…" he wheezed, stumbling back towards chibi Goten who awaited his grandfather with an eager and slightly evil smile on his face.

A barely audible moan emitted from the flatted Gohan, "Why me?"

Piccolo, who had watched the scene silently, stood suddenly, cape flaring dramatically about his shoulders as he turned to face the others, "I've got it!  I know how we can find out where Mirai Gohan is hiding!"

_______________________________

Hercule Satan itched uncomfortably at the gauzy white bandage decorating his rear-end.  He wished he could take the stupid thing off, but it was supposed to be a badge of pride.  Besides, the doctor had threatened to release the recording of the procedure if he didn't leave it on the requisite amount of time.  Hercule grimaced at the thought of his fans getting their hands on those tapes.  

It wasn't that he minded showing of his posterior.  In fact, as with every other part of his body, Hercule Satan couldn't be prouder of his behind.  No, the part that worried him was BEFORE the operation had begun.  

Hercule had, as usual, neglected to read the release forms he had signed before the procedure, and had thus been unaware of the cameras, which he had agreed to let capture the momentous occasion on tape.  Those same cameras had captured the mighty Hercule's screams of fear as the doctor entered the room, his pitiful pleading that 'he didn't want to anymore' and 'he'd changed his mind.'  It had taken three red lollypops and a shot of thorazine to calm him down sufficiently to proceed.

Hercule shuddered at the thought of his fans seeing him as anything less than the perfect and brave being he was.  It just wasn't right!  After bribing everyone from the doctor to the anesthesiologist and a passing priest for good measure, Hercule still had to worry about those tapes!

"Mr. Satan!" a voice called out shrilly from the doorway, "Mr. Satan it's an emergency!"

Hercule's eyes widened and he grabbed a nearby blanket, pulling it over his head and cowered underneath, "Err….The World Champion isn't here…." He replied in a high falsetto, "It's me….er…..Videl!"

Much to Hercule's dismay, the door finally banged open and a diminutive man with a head of balding gray-brown hair rushed in, "Mr. Satan!  You ARE here…" he looked around in confusion, "but where's your daughter?  And why did she say you weren't in?"

Hercule grunted imperiously, shaking the blanket down around his shoulders like a cape, "Because I don't want to be disturbed!  What do you want?"

"Oh, Mr. Satan!" the man exclaimed, "We're here because of the tape--"

"IT'S NOT TRUE!  IT'S A FAKE!  A FORGERY!  I'M GOING TO CALL MY LAWYER IMMEDIATELY TO STRAIGHTEN THIS--"

The other man continued bravely, despite being blasted by the champion's breath, "Sir, I don't know what you're talking about—a citizen turned in a video tape of two teenagers being KIDNAPPED by one of those aliens you were talking about!  He had a strange ship and everything!  The police chief sent me down here specifically to find you, sir!"

"Oh.  Is that all?" Hercule smirked confidently, shrugging the blanket from his shoulders, "Lead the way man, hurry up!"

Walking through the cavernous door of the Satan mansion, Hercule was confronted by the cheers of a huge crowd which had gathered shortly after the evening news had aired the footage, all intent on seeing the great Hercule Satan depart to rescue the two kidnapped teens. 

Smoothing his moustache importantly, Hercule Satan nodded approvingly at the adoring crowd surrounding him, "Well, you were right to call me.  Don't you worry, I'll get those kids back faster than you can say 'Satan Super Punch!'"

"Satan Super Punch!" Some prankster yelled from the back of the crowd.

Mr. Satan smirked in satisfaction as several of his fans turned on the heckler and introduced him to the pavement, then a nearby fire hydrant, and finally a parking meter before Mr. Satan called them off, "There, that's enough now."

As the heckler stared googly eyed at the sky, limbs twitching, Mr. Satan continued on with his speech, "As I was saying, this guy here just told me that some kids were stolen away by those aliens right in the middle the day in downtown Satan City.  No where's safe anymore!" Several of the crowd gasped at this point and clutched their children close.  Mr. Satan, satisfied at the reaction continued boastfully,  "After saving the world from Cell, these stupid aliens with their dumb light tricks are a piece of cake for someone like me, so fear not!  I, Hercule Satan will get those kids back!"

The day grew twice as bright as hundreds upon thousands of flashbulbs went off at once, and Hercule struck mighty poses for his adoring fans, thinking all the while how much money he could make off of autographing said photographs.

Hercule posed and waved arrogantly to the crowd, "Fear not!  I, Hercule Satan will—ERP!" Hercule was cut off as his guide abruptly shoved him into a preprogrammed shuttle.  "We've isolated his location at a nearby amusement park," the police officer shouted over the roar of the jet's engines, "It's been evacuated  so don't be afraid to go all out, champ!"  Punching a flashing button on the panel and slamming the door shut, Officer Yorscrewd missed the look of utter terror that flickered across Hercule's face, and the champion's pathetic protests were lost in the roar of the crowd as Hercule flew off to save the world once again.  What a man!

__________________

Gohan pouted poutily.  'Damn, where are they?  I know Piccolo knows where I am,' the crazed Mirai Saiyan thought petulantly.

'Gohan,' A voice echoed in his mind.  Speak of the devil!

'Piccolo!' Mirai Gohan exclaimed merrily, 'Where are you?  Why didn't you come?'

'Umm, Gohan,' Piccolo's voice echoed in the demi-saiyan's mind, 'I'm afraid I don't know quite where you are.'

*Don't know?!* the mind-voice was hurt, *But…* Mirai Gohan glanced at the now empty carnival ground.  Erasa and Sharpener each sat tied to a snorting carnival horse, which bobbed up and down, still spinning with merry glee, much to the nauseous dismay of their occupants, *but Piccolo, we had our best times here!  The roller coasters, the spinning cups, the ferris wheel,* Mirai Gohan pleaded, *Remember the ferris wheel Piccolo!!!*

"Yeah Piccolo," Krillin snorted, "remember the ferris wheel!  How come you guys never invited me along?"

Piccolo just glared sarcastically before continuing, *Look Gohan, we have Videl.  Is Dende safe?*

Mirai Gohan thought for a moment to continue the argument with his mentor's counterpart—Piccolo, not remember the carnival indeed!—but decided that regaining Videl was the ultimate priority, *Yes Piccolo, he's sound asleep and well on his way to a hangover.* Smirking over at his other captives, Mirai Gohan added, *And I've got another pair just to sweeten the deal.  Tell your pitiful excuse for a Gohan that I've captured Sharpener and Erasa, and if he ever wants to see them alive again, then he'd better comply with my demands.* Satisfied with that final comment, Mirai Gohan cut off the mental link and chuckled to himself in amusement.  Looking around at the still active carnival rides, he perked up—perhaps there was time for a round on the ferris wheel before Videl arrived!

__________________

"…and if you ever want to see them alive again, you'd better comply." Piccolo finished delivering Mirai Gohan's message to his counterpart.

Gohan's eyes grew amused.  "Well, that solves THAT problem then.  He said if I ever want to see them alive again.  As far as I'm concerned…" catching an arch glare from Videl, Gohan continued smoothly, "we have to rescue them.  Obviously."

Videl nodded, satisfied and Piccolo shook his head sadly at Gohan's submissive state.  *INCREDIBLE COSMIC POWER….itty bitty leash.*  "Fine then.  Now Gohan, the first thing to do when you arrive is suppress your ki.  If he has a clue as to how powerful you are, he might just kill Dende and the others out of desperation.  And remember, we have no dragonballs for the next year.  This is what we're going to do…"  
  
_______________

From out of the shadows, a creature struck.  A loud slurping noise was followed quickly by a bright flash of light, a second sun overtaking the deserted fairgrounds.  The only witnesses to the event had fainted, as they had a tendency to do when encountering stressful situations, before the light had completely dimmed.  As the sunspot resolved into a single form, the creature smirked.  One down, one to go.

Walking quickly across the fairgrounds, Mirai Cell, with a belly full of Buu, stalked his next target: Mirai Gohan.

_______________________

As the assemblage on Dende's lookout planned and plotted his rescue, Dende himself was just coming to, still in alcoholic paradise and looking for his Pina Colada.  

"Whazzat?" Dende mumbled, rolling over to flop off the bed to the floor of the time capsule.  Not finding his delicious beverage of choice close at hand, the still-drunken Dende stumbled heavily across the time capsule, tripping as he found the door and bending his rather sensitive antennae as he landed on his head.

Cursing, Dende lurched to his feet and wandered across the fairground, entering a building where he thought he faintly glimpsed the fairy-white shine of his beloved drink, complete with pink umbrella.  The shimmering sheen of the mirror seemed to giggle as Dende staggered from room to room, becoming more lost and confused with every turn.  Had Dende's god-senses not been blurred by alcohol, he might have had a chance.  As it was, Dende walked deeper and deeper into the shiny place, becoming yet another victim of that devious hell-trap so innocently named the 'House of Mirrors.'

_________________

Meanwhile, Mirai Gohan laughed giddily as the ferris wheel spun erratically at five times its normal speed.  He remembered with joy the times that he and Piccolo had come here when he was a child, how Piccolo had been redirected to the clown tent by mistake, and the funny explosions that had followed!

Clambering down out of the seat, Mirai Gohan was so caught up in old reminisces that he failed to notice Mirai Cell standing behind him until the very last instant.  Mirai Gohan blinked, then glared up at the green monster, "Hey, what the hell are you doing here?  Aren't you supposed to be guarding the prisoners?!" 

Mirai Gohan noticed that Mirai Cell's body had taken on a slightly chubbier appearance and his normally green skin had a faintly pinkish hue, but decided to ignore it, "Cell, get back there right now!  If any of those prisoners have escaped, I swear you'll live to regret it you overgrown insec--"  Mirai Gohan's eyes widened and he never got a chance to finish his sentence as a round tube-like object fixed itself around his head.

***SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP***

Mirai Cell belched politely into a convenient handkerchief as he finished his second meal of the day.  That had been easier than he'd thought.  Buu had been a bit chewy, but he'd been so beaten down by Gohan that he was barely a challenge, even for someone like Mirai Cell who was much weaker than him.  All he had done was cower.  And Mirai Gohan.  That'd been a surprise—Cell smirked.  That's what he got for underestimating him.  There hadn't been a transformation the second time, but Cell knew.  He knew that NOW he was the perfect being. 

A small, niggling doubt whispered in the back of his mind that 'wasn't that exactly what he'd said LAST time.'  Like any good super-villain he quickly dismissed this tiny voice of caution.  That didn't matter anymore.  This time he was PERFECT!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

_________________________

Gathering Videl in his arms, Gohan prepared to take off from Kami's lookout.  Stepping to the edge he tried to ignore the flush of guilty pleasure he felt from having Videl in his arms…feeling her breath on his neck…her arms grasping his shoulders…her tail wrapped tightly around his waist…Gohan jumped as Goku tapped him on the shoulder, "Um, son?  Can't Videl fly?"

Gohan's eyes widened guiltily.  He'd been hoping that everyone would forget that.  Setting Videl down, Gohan steeled himself against the snickers and glanced at his girlfriend to see her blushing as well.  Stepping to the edge once again, they prepared to take flight, when a powerful voice resounded through the minds of the entire gathering.

*Too late for that now,* the Supreme Kai sighed.

Gohan, predictably, had an adverse reaction to the 'voices'.  The others ignored his writhing and twitching and looked curiously into the sky.  Who was that?

Piccolo's eyes widened dramatically, "No, it can't be!  The Supreme KAI?!"

The Kai's mental voice held a perceptible smirk, *Yeah, that's me.*

"Oh," Bardock nodded, "You mean that short guy; the one who sent us down here?"

"Yeah, the one with the freaky hair-do," King Vegeta added.

Choosing to ignore the irony of the statement for the moment, Piccolo gazed into the heavens, "Why have you contacted us, Supreme Kai?  Is this matter REALLY serious enough to merit your personal attention?"

The Supreme Kai's voice was casual, "Nah, not really.  I'm kinda bored.  Anyway, as I was saying, it's too late for you to enact your plan.  The situation has changed.  I'm afraid that your opponent is far more powerful than you could imagine now."  In classic fashion, the z-senshi's faces were reflected shock and horror, faint but dramatic music playing in the background.  "I'm afraid you only have one option now," the Supreme Kai continued, reveling in the attention, "And that is why I brought Bardock and King Vegeta to earth.  Only they have the power to help you now.  Had Goku stayed in Otherworld a bit longer, perhaps he would have learned it, but as it is, they are the only ones who can instruct you in this technique."

Bardock paled, "Oh no…not…."

The Supreme Kai nodded and King Vegeta groaned into his hands in horror at the embarrassment to come. "Yes.  Bardock, King Vegeta, you must once again become Vegetock, and instruct these warriors in the technique of fusion!  The universe may very well count on this," he added sternly.  Smirking he thought, *Not to mention my day.* After all, it had been a very boring day in Otherworld, and even the Supreme Kai needed a bit of amusement now and then.

***If the scene with Hercule being shoved into a shuttle sounds familiar, indeed it is!  Movie nine, Bojack…my favorite!  And yes, your eyes did not deceive; you did see a quote from the original Aladdin movie by Disney…talk about scraping the barrel.  R&R please ^_^***


	23. One Flew Over the Kami's Nest

Disclaimer--I do not own Dragonballz. But I DO own this jar of artichoke hearts and they're REALLY good! Anyone want some?  
  
A/N--If you think my life is boring (I'd agree) and don't want to hear about it, please skip! Okay, started my first week of classes...whew! Fun, but they sound like a bit of work! I'm taking Japanese 101 (yay! It's great, I really love it so far), Abnormal Psychology, Philosophy of Language and a Sociology class, Gender and Society! Anyway, my schedule will prevent me from posting anymore than once a week unless I'm inspired (which hasn't happened in quite awhile!) so don't come looking for updates except on the weekends! I'll try as hard as I can to get out at least one a week, and if I don't, you can send me deflamatory notes and I'll send you some back--it relieves tension ^_^ Okay, enough pointless rambling, on with the story!  
  
Mirai Cell stood boredly in the middle of the amusement park and licked his lips at the thought of a full meal. It'd been over an hour since he had consumed Mirai Buu and Mirai Gohan, and the promised second course had yet to arrive. They must have been warned.  
  
Levitating a few inches into the air, Mirai Cell smirked. He might as well have a snack, and perhaps lure his prey to him as well. Rising several dozen feet, the slightly plumper, pink-tinged monster scanned the horizon, narrowing in on the nearby city that played host to the amusement park. That would do.  
  
Zipping quickly over the wilderness to land in the midst of a busy street, Mirai Cell smirked in satisfaction at the horrified screams of recognition as his prey took off in a dozen different directions, running as fast as their plump little legs could carry them. That was okay. Mirai Cell LIKED fast food.  
  
_____________________  
  
Mr. Satan crushed his hands together and prayed as the police jetcopter took him inevitably closer to the amusement park where the aliens were known to lurk. As evidenced by his prayers, Hercule didn't have a clue as to just who Kami was. Fortunately for the blubbering heavyweight, Kami was a bit tied up at the moment, and wasn't available to answer his call, and seeing as there were no other available operators, fate was allowed to take its course, meaning that the doughty champ had at least a 50/50 chance of survival. As the jetcopter came in for a landing, Hercule was jolted from his fervent prayers, and back into the real world of aliens and boogeymen.  
  
As the canopy slowly opened, Hercule cowered against the seat...but suddenly, a sense of purpose grabbed him. Here he was in this jetcopter. He wasn't going anywhere. This jetcopter wasn't going to move an inch! So, of course, the only logical thing to do was GET OUT and run away!  
  
Clambering from the restrictive cockpit, Hercule glanced nervously about. From the direction of the House of Mirrors, he could discern shrieks of terror...groans of despair. Being the hero he was, Hercule took off in the opposite direction. Fortunately for our mighty warrior, a mere half-dozen steps led him to the location of the captive children....and he kept on running.  
  
"MMMMPPPH!!!!!!" Erasa called angrily after Hercule through her gag. He'd seen them alright and had just kept on running.  
  
Slumping despairingly on his carnival horse, Sharpener finally gave in to the nausea that had flooded him since being put on the over-reved merry-go- round over an hour before.  
  
"Hey!" Sharpener rubbed his sore jaw in shock. Apparently you couldn't projectile vomit and remain gagged at the same time--something had to give. "HEEEEEERCUUUULLLEEEE!" Sharpener shouted after the retreating champion. "DUUUUUUDE! DON'T LEAVE US MR. SATAN!!!!!!"  
  
In a rare moment of bravery, Hercule stopped...no wait, he'd just encountered a dead end. Turning around, Hercule glanced wildly about like a cornered lamb--spotting Sharpener, half covered in vomit and flailing wildly from atop a carnival horse, his blonde tail wrapped tightly about the bar to help him keep his balance, Hercule shuddered. That HAD to be the alien. Coming to his senses, Hercule realized that the villain was all tied up. Pulling himself straight, the champion crossed the fairgrounds with large earth eating steps to stand gloatingly before Sharpener and Erasa, "HA! Thought you could fool me, huh aliens? Well the trick's on you! I, Hercule Satan, have seen through your disguises, and I have conquered you for the people of Satan City!" Striking a pose, Hercule seemed to be waiting for applause. Sharpener complied obligingly, smacking his bound hands against his knees, causing a sticky splatting sound and splashing a rather unsavory substance into the air where it arced into the afro'd hair of the World Champion of Martial Arts.  
  
Satisfied with the applause, Hercule unbound the blonde duo from their horses, growing rather dizzy himself in the process, having tried unsuccessfully to shut off, and then smash the merry-go-round controls.  
  
Erasa couldn't help but stare at Mr. Satan in disgust as the man rambled garrulously on about how he'd captured the aliens. The man had managed to leave the ropes binding their hands and feet in place while removing them from the horses, so they were just as helpless as they had been ten minutes ago. And, judging by the manic glee decorating the mustachioed man's face, in the hands of ANOTHER madman.  
  
As Sharpener fell over himself with thanks, which the champion ignored as alien trickery, Erasa found herself thinking for the first time in a rather long time as she was shoved into the rear compartment of Hercule's now mysteriously obedient jetcopter. Erasa was thinking that against all odds, and public conception, Videl was right. Her father WAS a moron.  
  
____________________  
  
Dende couldn't help a bit of a sob at his appearance in the mirror. It wasn't that he was narcicistic or anything (even though he WAS one handsome specimen of Namek-kind!) it was just seeing his antennae....stretched out like that...it was just WRONG...  
  
Dende bobbed and bounced, watching his antennae stretch and contract, stretch and contract, in the wavery mirror before him. He didn't like this one...speaking of which, he didn't really like ANY of them! How was he going to get out of this hellhole anyway?!  
  
Stumbling onto the next mirror in a seemingly endless row of the shiny objects, Dende fell to his knees. He didn't know whether to laugh or scream. If the last one had been bad, skewing his antennae all out of proportion, this one was a hundred times worse. This time the wave of the mirror encompassed his entire body, making him look oddly like a green, hairless version of Korin's obnoxious roommate...what was his name...ah yes, Yajirobe.  
  
Dende sniffled drunkenly at the mirror. It wasn't fair. All he had wanted was to find his Pina Colada and to go home. If he could just do that, he promised that he'd never EVER drink again...well...except for Pina Coladas, but no one could honestly expect him to give up THOSE, could they?  
  
Looking at the stocky green Namek staring out at him with large dewy eyes from surface of the mirror, Dende suddenly found himself with a greater appreciation of just what he'd put Gohan through. Pondering for a moment, Dende wondered...had he been wrong? Maybe after this was all over with, and he was back on the lookout, safe in his very own lawn chair, Pina Colada in hand, he'd lighten up on Gohan. Maybe he'd never try to make his life miserable again. The tiny head of the chubby green Namek in the mirror smirked. Nah. Now THAT would be a promise he could never keep!  
  
_____________________  
  
After the Supreme Kai had explained the situation, Mirai Gohan's absorbtion and Mirai Cell's subsequent take over, it was time to demonstrate the fusion. This should be fun!  
  
Bardock glanced at King Vegeta reluctantly, dread of the upcoming fusion written in every line of his face, "Okay, just once more..." Looking to the sky he asked the last part half-pleadingly. "Then NEVER again?"  
  
The Supreme Kai covered a snicker at the pleading expression on the brave warrior's face and replied as seriously as he could muster, "You'll do it as many times as is necessary. Remember, the fate of the planet is in your hands."  
  
King Vegeta shot Bardock a look and whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "Couldn't we just blow it up?"  
  
The Supreme Kai's voice echoed loudly in Bardock and King Vegeta's ears, "NO BLOWING UP THE PLANET!"  
  
King Vegeta winced, "Hai...jeez, I was just kidding!" Looking at Bardock, the King sighed and assumed the position as the assembled crowd looked on in amusement.  
  
Gohan tilted his head to the side and stared incredulously as the men tiptoed towards eachother, arms akimbo, "Dancing?"  
  
"My father would NOT dance with an idiot third-class," Prince Vegeta snorted defensively, "It's obvious that they're...they're..." as the pair continued towards each other on twinkle toes, spinning their arms in loopy circles, Prince Vegeta gave up his defense as hopeless, "Okay, just what in the hell ARE they doing?!"  
  
Chichi fanned herself, watching the duo, "That looks a bit like a step I knew when I was a girl."  
  
Bulma cocked her head, "It looks kinda like disco, without the flashing lights."  
  
Prince Vegeta glared at his mate. He didn't know exactly what disco WAS, but judging from the snickers from the humans, it wasn't a good thing. "Be quiet woman! You don't know what you're--"  
  
Prince Vegeta's defense was interrupted by a beet-red Bardock and King Vegeta who had heard every word, shouting the final phrase of their technique...  
  
"FUUUU--SIIIIIIIIOOOON---HAAAAAA!"  
  
An incredible white light swept across the lookout. Falling breathlessly to the ground Bulma exclaimed, "Guess I was wrong about the lights!"  
  
From within the sparkly strobe type flashes, a solid figure slowly emerged. Wearing red and white trousers and an open shirt which exposed a bare muscled chest, flowing sleeves finished the look as Vegetock stepped smirking from the crackling blaze he had created with his birth.  
  
"WHAT is THAT?!" Gohan stepped back, wide-eyed, Videl only a step behind. The being before them seemed to be an odd combination of Bardock and King Vegeta, the features meshing to create a result that was, while aesthetically pleasing, still highly disturbing for all involved.  
  
Vegetock reached up to itch the scar that decorated his right cheek, noting that it felt odd through the prickly whiskers that decorated his face, "I am Vegetock," an odd dual voice emerged from the being.  
  
Goku eyed Prince Vegeta warily and leaned over to whisper, "Is it me, or is that just wrong?"  
  
Prince Vegeta snorted, "No way in hell I'm doing that with you Kakarot."  
  
Goku nodded in relief. He was just glad that he wasn't the one who had to refuse.  
  
Vegetock walked up to Goku and put one hand on his shoulder, "Son, are you ready to learn this technique?" As he said this, the spikey creature put his other hand on Prince Vegeta's shoulder.  
  
Goku smiled innocently, secretly gleeful at a chance to irk the troublesome Prince, "Guess we're brothers for the time being, huh Vegeta?"  
  
Prince Vegeta shot Goku a sickened glare and shook the hand off of his shoulder, "There is no way in hell that I'm going to do....THAT....with Kakarot!"  
  
Vegetock's eyes narrowed in a fatherly manner, "And just why is that, son?"  
  
Krillin shuddered and hid behind his wife. That voice was just too creepy-- he couldn't even gather proper appreciation of the torment that that pompous prince was enduring.  
  
As Prince Vegeta opened his mouth, preparing to stick his foot in it, Goku stepped in to save him, pulling a leaf from Mr. Satan's book in the face of fatherly disapproval, "Oh, sick! We're sick, right Vegeta?" he asked, punching the other man in the gut while Vegetock wasn't looking.  
  
Prince Vegeta doubled over at the unexpected blow and glared daggers at Goku, "Yes, sick," he growled, "In fact, I'm willing to bet one of us will be DEAD, VERY SOON, Kakarot."  
  
Goku smiled smugly, "Anytime Vegeta," he whispered.  
  
"You are SO DEAD Kakarot."  
  
Gohan stared at Goku and Vegeta with a pained expression as the two clutched their stomachs...why did this seem somehow familiar....  
  
"Hey Gohan," Videl whispered into his ear.  
  
Gohan jumped, his heart pounding. Videl whispering his name into his ear, now THAT was something he'd been having dreams about...dreams where...Gohan's eyes widened and he smacked his forehead with both hands. *NO! BAD THOUGHTS! STOP THINKING THAT!*  
  
Videl's expression faltered as concerns for her boyfriend's sanity took the forefront, but she bravely continued, "Don't you think your dad and Vegeta are acting a little bit like....well....my dad?"  
  
Gohan looked at the two doubled over Saiyans and sighed. He'd known it looked familiar. His dad and Vegeta wouldn't back down from a fight if the villain were a thousand times stronger than them, but ask them to perform an embarassing dance-like technique and they'd rolled on the floor right along with Hercule. Normally they'd just refuse outright he was sure, but the presence of the oddly disturbing Vegetock had driven them to extreme measures.  
  
Vegetock peered at the two in concern, "What's the matter?"  
  
Goten giggled, "Maybe they ate some of Bulma-san's fruitcake!"  
  
Bulma glared suspiciously at Goten, "You know what happened to my fruitcake? I cooked one a few years ago but Trunks told me that someone had come by and stolen it because it was so good."  
  
Goten paled and shook his head, "I-I don't know Bulma-san...."  
  
Prince Vegeta, getting tired of playing the fool, climbed to his feet and dusted himself off. "That fruitcake was a deathtrap woman. If I had been any less of a warrior, I would have fed it to Cell and rid us of the monster without any effort at all."  
  
Goku sighed and climbed to his feet, "We're sick Vegeta, remember?"  
  
Prince Vegeta snorted, "Shut up Kakarot." Gesturing towards Videl he continued, "If you want to act like that brat's idiot father, feel free, but I am a Saiyan." Glaring coolly at Vegetock who stood, arms crossed with one eyebrow raised, Prince Vegeta tried to outstare the combined gazes of his father and former babysitter, "There's no way I'm fusing with that idiot," he stated arrogantly, gesturing at Goku, "Not only would I be weakened by being attached to that idiot, but I could end up catching his brain damage."  
  
Goku glared at Vegeta and stomped up and crossed his arms as well, "Well I'm not fusing with him either! I'd probably lose half a foot of height and end up balding and arrogant."  
  
"Kakarooooot..."  
  
Vegetock stared at his sons, a slow smirk playing over his face. "That's fine," the eerie voice echoed confidently, "I'm much more powerful than either of you anyway. I am Vegetock, King of All Third-Class...no wait a minute. I'm the King of All...no, I'm a scientist...or..." Vegetock seemed consumed by an inner struggle, face contorting into a confused expression, his eyebrows wrinkling as his proud widow's peak drew down to crease his forehead. Blinking in confusion the warrior looked up at the group gathered around him, "I know I'm perfect, and wonderful, and handsome, and incredibly intelligent, not to mention a good dresser...and I know that those two," he pointed at Goku and Vegeta, "Are my sons...but other than that...." Lifting a hand to scratch his head in a manner chillingly similar to Goku's, Vegetock grinned disarmingly, "I don't have a clue. Could you maybe tell me who I am?"  
  
"Insanity." The Supreme Kai's voice filtered down through their minds, "That's the problem with Vegetock. For some reason, whenever Bardock and King Vegeta perform the fusion technique, they experience a decrease in mental accuity until, by the end of the fusion, they are almost entirely incapacitated. Just look at him now."  
  
All eyes turned to Vegetock who was now down on all fours, examining a snail crawling across the deck. Prodding the creature with one forefinger, Vegetock cocked his head, "Excuse me sir, but do you know who I am? I seem to have forgotten." The snail, obviously, did not reply.  
  
The Supreme Kai continued, covering a snort of laughter, popping a handful of popcorn in his mouth, "Ehem, yes, anyway *crunch, munch, swallow* the point is, Vegetock is obviously unable to combat your enemy."  
  
Gohan, glancing at the fused saiyan who now sat toying with his tail in a rather childish manner, couldn't help but agree. "Well then who's going to do it, Supreme Kai? Who can master the technique to defeat Mirai Cell? I defeated Cell once, but...he's gotten a lot more powerful..."  
  
Vegetock glanced up from his tail to grin at Gohan, "You defeated that Cell fellow? Cheerio, well done old chap! I suppose I'm not needed then..." a horrified expression came over the combination-Saiyan's features, "That means I have no purpose in life!" he exclaimed before bursting into tears, which lasted about two seconds before he rediscovered the snail he had questioned earlier and proceeded to repeat his earlier conversation with the slimy creature. The snail, once again, chose not to reply.  
  
The Supreme Kai who never failed to get a kick out of Vegetock's mental instability was trying not to choke on his popcorn at the expressions that decorated the faces of the Z-senshi. Goku and Vegeta looked particularly horrified at the thought of fusion.  
  
The Supreme God of the Universe thought long and hard, looking to each figure on the deck as he tried to make a decision. There were only a few he could choose from who had comparable powerlevels, but he amused himself nonetheless thinking of how interesting a combination of Vegeta and Mr. Popo would look.  
  
Mirai Trunks and Super Trunks were out, seeing as their powerlevels weren't close enough to each other's. The Prince Vegeta and Goku option would be highly amusing, but he doubted that he'd get the two hard-headed Saiyans to agree to it unless the entire world population had been exterminated, or something similarly drastic. Like THAT would ever happen. Continuing to ponder his options, the Supreme Kai noticed Goten and Chibi Trunks who had abandoned the group of adults who were currently staring in awe at Vegetock who was rolling around on the deck laughing for no particular reason, to spar across the way.  
  
For their age, the youngsters were very strong. Their sizes were similar, and their powerlevels were comparable. More importantly, the Supreme Kai knew from watching them in the past, that the two had a considerable sense of mischief residing in their souls. As a fused pair, not only would they be able to defeat Mirai Cell, but they would cause a hell of a lot of trouble doing it.  
  
Smirking, the Supreme Kai popped another handful of popcorn into his mouth and spoke, "Fine, Prince Vegeta, Goku, you're off the hook."  
  
Gohan quailed. There was no way he wanted to do this. He just KNEW that the Supreme Kai was going to call his name...please no...anything but that! Gohan had, of course, said the magic words.  
  
"Chibi Trunks, Goten," The Supreme Kai announced with malicious pleasure, "You shall learn to fuse, and you will train to defeat Mirai Cell."  
  
Gohan's face filled with horror. THOSE TWO? With the kind of power that a fusion afforded a person?! Well, he HAD said anything...  
  
Chibi Trunks and Goten paused in their sparring and looked to the heavens with identical expressions of hyper delight. "COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
*Hn...some OOC, but I'm allowed. This isn't exactly a drama or anything. Hope you liked the chapter, see you next week!* 


	24. When Gods Go Bad

Disclaimer--I am now conducting product endorsements! Buy Pepsi! Buy Coke! Buy McDonalds! Buy Burger King! Hmm....too bad I didn't get paid for those. Those guys have money! I unfortunately do not. Which should lead you to the logical conclusion that I don't own Dragonball/Z/GT. That would be the pleasure and the priviledge of Akira Toriyama (Bless him!) and his chosen representatives.  
  
A/N--I would like to thank the person who said in a review that my story cheered them up--just knowing that I can help someone overcome the awful experience of being peed on by a toad makes everything right with my world *grins* In other news, thanks to those of you who suggested that perhaps Gohan could fuse with Trunks. Burenda in particular for suggesting MIRAI Trunks. What a truly wonderful way to torture Gohan and I never even thought of it! Hope you like the chapter ^_^  
  
_________________  
  
Mirai Trunks sat warily across from Gohan, watching as Goten and Chibi Trunks attempted to master the fusion technique under the erratic guidance of Vegetock.  
  
"And a one, and a two and a three!" Vegetock caroled, clapping his hands gleefully, "Put your right foot in, put your right foot out put your right foot in and shake it all about!"  
  
As Goten jiggled in accordance with the directions, Chibi Trunks looked doubtfully from his right foot to Vegetock, "What does this have to do with the fusion technique, sir?" he asked hesitantly.  
  
"Why nothing at all!" Vegetock exclaimed merrily, "Is that what we were doing? I'd rather forgotten."  
  
Mirai Trunks placed his forehead in his hands and groaned. It had been like this for the past hour, off and on. When the fusion had faded, the Supreme Kai had goaded Bardock and King Vegeta into performing it again sweetened with the promise of extra vacation time. The two dead saiyans now had a whole week to spend on Earth, but at a great personal cost--their solemn vow to perform the fusion technique as many times as necessary for Goten and Chibi Trunks to master it. Ruminating on it, Mirai Trunks thought that perhaps a week wouldn't be long enough.  
  
"Is it just me," Gohan commented offhandedly, "Or is this doomed to fail?"  
  
Mirai Trunks snorted. Even if Gohan WERE correct, he made a point of disagreeing with evil dictators on as many issues as possible. Pondering hard, Mirai Trunks wracked his brain to think up a counter-arguement as to why the Goten/Chibi Trunks fusion idea obviously would NOT fail, when a bright flash of light interrupted the crowd on the lookout.  
  
It was a machine. An oddly familiar egg shaped machine. For one, awful terrible moment, Mirai Trunks was sure that Evil Mirai Gohan had returned...to seek his revenge. But no...Mirai Gohan had been absorbed...so who could it be?  
  
A blue haired woman stepped from the pod, arms crossing in a maternal manner as she narrowed in on Super Trunks. Stalking up to the clueless duplicate, Mirai Bulma grabbed one sensitive Saiyan ear and proceeded to shout it off. "WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?! You KNOW you don't have a license to drive the time machine yet Trunks, I just can't BELIEVE you! Even if Gohan WAS after us, that's absolutely NO EXCUSE! Do you have any idea how long it took me to build another time machine?! But no, you didn't consider that, did you?"  
  
As his mother continued to rant and rave at the wrong Trunks, Mirai Trunks backed slowly away from the scene...he knew he wasn't supposed to drive the time machine without a licensed adult, but...he had his permit, and DID know how to drive, he couldn't believe she was making such a big deal of it! Quietly creaking open a convenient door, Mirai Trunks slipped inside a nearby room, determined to outlast his mother's wrath. Vegeta, also avid to escape this very loud and demanding version of Bulma, followed his Mirai son inside and quietly slid shut the door to the Room of Spirit and Time.  
  
___________________  
  
As Bulma came up for breath, she noted the figures standing around her, staring with varying degrees of astonishment at the blue-haired bombshell who had emerged so unexpectedly into their midst. Wide eyed she surveyed the crowd, noting Piccolo, Krillin, and even #18! Why, she'd just left them at home as children not minutes before, and here they were full grown adults!  
  
"Bulma?" Goku approached the woman hesitantly, "I...if you're the Bulma from Mirai Trunks' time, I think you have the wrong Trunks." Taking the relieved Super Trunks by the shoulders, Goku continued, "This guy's Super Trunks. He was the original Mirai Trunks from the timeline where the androids killed everyone. Your son is..." Goku blinked and looked around in confusion, "Hey, where did he go?"  
  
Gohan, who had stood up at Bulma's entrance, looked to the space that Mirai Trunks had just occupied moments and shrugged, "No idea, dad."  
  
Bulma, who had been staring at Goku in shocked joy at seeing him for the first time in so many years, yelped and dove behind him at the sight of Gohan, "AHHHH! It's Gohan!"  
  
Gohan blushed and scratched his head sheepishly, "Err...Bulma?" peeking behind his bemused father, Gohan was confronted with Bulma's angry blue eyes, "I'm not evil...I promise."  
  
Bulma relaxed a little at Goku's confirming nod and espied Videl striding over to support her boyfriend, "Oh good, Videl, you're in this timeline too! I'm glad to see you're keeping Gohan in line--how's Panny doing?"  
  
Videl blinked, "Panny?"  
  
Bulma stared back uncomprehendingly, "Yeah, Panny...." Not receiving a response she continued, "You know, Son Pan, short, black hair, orange bandana, your daughter...?"  
  
Krillin grinned for the first time since Vegetock had appeared and stepped forward to pat Gohan heartily on the back, handing him a cigar he had kept handy for the last several years, always prepared to be an accessory to Gohan's embarassment, "Congratulations, Dad!"  
  
Videl experienced a chronic shortage of blood to the rest of her body as her face flooded bright crimson. Gohan weeble-wobbled faintly and stared at Bulma in shock before the sound of ripping metal distracted all of their attentions from this rather interesting discussion.  
  
Vegetock stood scratching his head and frowning intently at the decapitated space pod. Looking to Chibi Trunks who wore an 'I-didn't-do-it' expression with perfect, angelic innocence, he exclaimed, "There's nothing in there! It's an empty egg!" Frowning disappointedly, Vegetock prodded around inside the capsule, "Where's the baby dinosaur?" Hearts leapt to Vegetock's eyes at the thought of his own personal baby dinosaur, "He'll be cold and lonely without me, I need to find him!" Embarking on a great quest for his own personal baby dinosaur, Vegetock rambled aimlessly around the lookout, egged on by Chibi Trunks and Goten who saw to it that the situation deteriorated rather quickly.  
  
"Hey, Vegetock, I think I saw him behind that tree!" *crash, bash, bang*  
  
"No, no!" Goten giggled, "He's in there!" *smash, RIIIIP, KABLLAAAM!*  
  
Mirai Bulma stood disheveled next to Goku, twitching slightly as a rumbling cloud of debris swooshed past the sweatdropping group of Z-fighters. "And just who is THAT, Goku?"  
  
Goku sighed, "THAT, is a long, long story."  
  
________________  
  
The Supreme Kai laughed at this newest development. Mirai Trunks and Vegeta locked in the Hyperbolic Chamber, and Mirai Bulma here looking for her errant son. Adding some more salt to his popcorn the Supreme God of the Multiverse reflected absently that it really WAS good to be the SUPREME Kai.  
  
He'd have had to bust any other Kai who messed with the affairs of mortals this much, but seeing as he was the boss....well, that afforded one certain privelidges. There were plenty of universes out there. It wouldn't matter TOO much if he messed up just ONE....  
  
________________  
  
  
  
As Dende finally made his way, stumbling, from the loathesome house of mirrors, he reflected that it had changed his life for good. Well, not really, but it had sure as hell freaked him out. First thing he was going to do when he got back to the lookout was create a new celestial law. 'Thou shalt not build houses of mirrors, for they are the domain of Satan, and unholy to look upon.' That ought to do it. Dende shuddered, thinking back upon the horrifying experience. He wasn't lying when he said they were unholy--and as holy as he was, Dende ought to know!  
  
Walking out of the amusement park, Dende was vaguely surprised to see a flashing line of police cruisers. Shrugging, he shoved past the congregating officers, with slurred mutters of apology, until he was stopped by the rather intimidating bulk of a stodgy woman in blue. "Shhhhcuse me," Dende muttered, trying to slide past without notice.  
  
Officer Bee uttered a groan of annoyance, looking down to see the diminutive green form that had stumbled into her. Ever since the world had woken up to discover their collective tails, the number of drunks wandering the street had shot sky high. But this guy...this guy looked BAD. How much did you have to drink to turn that color of green?  
  
Wrapping her own tail about her waist, Officer Bee grabbed the tottering Dende by the shoulder and steered him towards her nearby cruiser. There were more than enough personnel maintaining the blockade to the park, and seeing as Mr. Satan's jetcopter had departed over an hour ago, it was doubtful that anything eventful was going to happen. Mr. Satan had already saved the day.  
  
Pushing Dende gently into the back of the car, Officer Bee shook her head in amusement at the feel of his antennae. Kids these days and their outrageous hairstyles! Dende lolling in the backseat, Officer Bee drove quickly, but conscientiously towards the city lockup and the drunk tank, to make one little green deposit.  
  
_______________________  
  
Pulling up in front of the city jail, Officer Bee was surprised to see Hercule's jetcopter settled in the midst of a large crowd of officers, city officials and general citizens. Pausing for a moment, she observed that there seemed to be something of a press conference in progress. There seemed to be an awful lot of press conferences lately.  
  
Beside Hercule stood two blonde teenagers. The boy beamed proudly at his rescuer, his slick blonde tail arched behind him, while the girl seemed to be glaring at the champion's words. Surprised at the expression, Officer Bee took a few steps closer to listen in on what was being said.  
  
"Yeah, I knew that these were the kids from the start," Hercule stated boastfully, putting a companionable arm around Sharpener and Erasa's shoulders. Oblivious to the blonde girl's loathing glare, he continued blithely, "Yeah, that alien saw me coming, and he was running scared alright! I didn't even have to unleash my Satan Super Slash..." the crowd 'oohed', "Or my Hercule Hurricane Heave," the crowd 'ahhed', "Or even my Hercule Satan Heavenly Storm of Horrific S--uh...S...Stuff!!!" Hercule finished smoothly. As the crowd roared in delighted approval, Erasa leaned her forehead in one hand, feeling slightly nauseous.  
  
"Mr. Satan!" A frantic voice called from the back of the crowd.  
  
Hercule's afro lifted regally to confront the speaker, who just happened to be the chief of police, "What do you want?"  
  
"Mr. Satan!" the man kowtowed, "There--there's been a report..." the man gulped fearfully, "He-he's back! Cell--he's back! There've been several reported sightings of him in the town Selsnak--right outside that amusement park! That other aliens you defeated...they must have somehow brought Cell back to life!"  
  
As Mr. Satan's eyes widened and the blood drained from his face, the crowd began slowly chanting, a low rumbling chant that turned into a cheer, "satan....satan....Satan....Satan....SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!"  
  
Erasa smiled a slow smile and joined in on the cheer, grabbing a microphone, "SATAN, SATAN! YAY! Alright everyone, Mr. Satan's going to save us from Cell just like he did last time, right Mr. Satan?" Not giving the champ any time to answer, Erasa, accompanied by several burly officers shoved the unfortunate Mr. Satan back into the jetcopter, which blasted into the air, headed for Selsnak City.  
  
Turning with a sigh of relief at Mr. Satan's departure, Erasa noticed a twitching blonde tail sticking out from beneath the curtain of the podium that sat center stage. Pulling the cloth aside, she sighed at the twitching miserable wreck that rocked back and forth within the structure. "Oh Sharpie..."  
  
____________________  
  
Officer Bee blinked and shook her head. Apparently sometimes it WAS just being in the right place at the right time that let you catch sight of interesting events. Pulling her eyes away from the blonde girl who was slowly leading a shaky looking blonde boy down from the stage, and into the crowd of officers, Bee resumed her mission, opening the back of her patrol car to pull the half somnolent Dende to his feet.  
  
Dende staggered along behind the buxom woman who had him under her control, wondering vaguely where he was. Oh well, anywhere was better than that insane amusement park.  
  
As Bee led him into a busy room, however, Dende began to have second thoughts. The room was pure chaos. If Bee hadn't stuck with him through the whole process, he would have been totally and completely lost. Dende wandered from station to station as the officers attempted to gain information on him.  
  
"Would you PLEASE give me your real name and occupation buddy?" An exasperated balding officer said, gesturing to a long line of people waiting for his attention.  
  
Dende repressed an indignant snort, "I TOLD you," he slurred stubbornly, "My name izzzh Dende, I live on zhe lookout with Popo and Pickle....*snort, laugh, giggle* he's sour like a pickle sometimes, but that's not his name...let me thinksh....Pickle...Picclllo! Yeah, that'sh it, Piccolo! And I'm God for a living, so you'd better shtop being sho rude to me!!"  
  
The attending officer just shook his head and sighed. "Fine. John Doe, occupation unknown. NEXT!"  
  
Dende shot the man a glare as Bee escorted him to the next station. Twenty minutes and a pad of finger-printing ink later, Dende smiled as he posed for his mug-shot, only slightly ink-smudged, and was escorted to the drunk tank to sleep it off. "Here ya go kid," Bee said kindly. "Everything'll seem clearer in the morning."  
  
Dende glared woozily at the door as it clanked shut behind him, and turned to face his fellows cellmates, only to see a large shadow lurking over his own. "Well, well, well, what have we got here," sneered the resident bully, somewhat stereotypically named Butch.  
  
Dende, who was just clear headed enough to know what was going on, but still drunk enough not to realize the danger he was in, smiled cheerily at Butch and smacked him on the back in a hearty attempt at camaraderie, "Boy are YOU messhing with the wrong guy," Dende confided, "Let me tell you a little shtory."  
  
Time passed as it has a way of doing, and eventually, the story drew to a close with all of the occupants of the drunk tank, laughing uproariously, Pina Colada in hand. Halfway through the story, Dende had sobered up just enough to remember how to spontaneously create Pina Coladas, and now no hand was empty, a brightly colored umbrella decorating every glass. Pink, of course, was reserved solely for Dende.  
  
Butch, drained the last of his glass, and gasping held it out for more, almost choking on his laughter, "So you really did all that to this Gohan guy and actually GOT AWAY with it?! How is it you're still BREATHING man?"  
  
Dende shrugged nonchalantly and distributed another round, "I told you. I'm God."  
  
Taking a sip from his frosty-cool glass, Butch sighed in contentment, making no motion to disagree, "Whatever you say man, whatever you say. Just keep 'em coming."  
  
As the drunks in the drunk tank partied it up, Mr. Satan headed towards Selsnak city, and certain danger. Up on the lookout, a frantic Goku tried to contain Vegetock's rampage, as Vegeta and Mirai Trunks trained together in the hyperbolic time chamber, for lack of anything better to do. Seeing as Vegeta had exceeded his two days, the door, of course, had disappeared, and they were trapped inside, which didn't particularly phase the stubborn Vegeta. On the lookout, watching the mess, Mr. Popo sighed. This is what happened, When Gods Went Bad.  
  
***Note: Hmm...just realized that Vegetock's quest for a baby dinosaur sounds awfully like Hagrid's quest for a dragon, so I think I'll disclaim that as well as...well...everything else! Originally Dende was going to go into rehab and sing Kumbaya, but I figured the drunk tank would be more realistic for the time being. Fear not, he may eventually enter a detox center and be forced to attend group. "Hello, my name's Dende, and I'm an alcoholic!" HELLO DENDE! Hope you liked the chapter, until next week, this is Frozenflower, signing off! R&R please ^_^*** 


	25. New Identities

Disclaimer--I do not own them on my web page, I do not own them inside a cage, I do not own it on fanfiction.net I do not own them, I do not, NYET! I do not own DBZ I just been loaned them, happy me!  
  
A/N--I...don't really have anything to say! Thanks for being patient, here's the next chapter!  
  
_________________  
  
"Goku...where is he?!" Mirai Bulma was just as intimidating as her counterpart, and Goku did not want to mess with her.  
  
"Bulma, I'm sorry, but I have no idea where Mirai Trunks went. And Vegeta...he was here just a moment ago!" Goku pleaded.  
  
Gohan walked hesitantly forward, trying to ignore the hex signs Mirai Bulma directed at him, "Well, maybe he ran off and Vegeta went after him. I mean, you DID say he took the time machine without permission Bulma, I'm sure he doesn't really want to face you...."  
  
Mirai Bulma looked at the calm and hesitant boy before her and shook her head slowly. It was hard to believe that in just a few short years from now, he would be turned into the evillest force the universe had ever known by her own husband. "Err...good point, Gohan dear..." she looked quickly for signs of anger at the pet name, testing this innocent-seeming Gohan, but all she received was a blush, "But if you don't mind, I think I'll look around."  
  
Gohan watched as the older version of Bulma crossed the lookout, peering under heaps of rubble that Vegetock had created during his search for the baby dinosaur, as if hoping to locate her errant son at any moment. Videl, who stood a few steps behind Gohan, felt a warm hand on her arm. Turning, she was surprised to see Chi Chi, accompanied by the young Bulma. Both women had a look of deadly anticipation in their eyes.  
  
As Videl was lead forcefully across the deck past Vegetock and Chibi Trunks and Goten who were actually practicing the fusion for a change, she felt her stomach change to ice.  
  
Videl found herself sitting in a rickety wooden chair, and she scarcely had time to wonder where it had come from before a bright light appeared to shine harshly in her eyes.  
  
"So, Videl..." Chi Chi's voice was casual, but behind her shoulder, Videl could see Bulma smirking widely, cracking her knuckles with a look of deadly menace, "Let's talk....wedding. Now as for the flowers; roses, or lilies?"  
  
Videl gulped and thought wistfully of her job with the police. She hadn't had a call in weeks. Where were bad guys mowing down unarmed citizens when you needed them?  
  
___________________________  
  
Dende looked around the room and sighed. As cool as these guys were, there wasn't really a lot you could do in an 8' by 12' cement room with metal bars for decoration.  
  
These guys...they were good guys, though! Looking around the cell which was by now littered with empty Pina Colada glasses, colorful umbrellas tossed brokenly to the side, where they winked like lost dreams, Dende could almost SEE the bond that had grown between him and his fellow drun-- err, occupants.  
  
There was Jimmy Two Fingers. Aside from his violent tendencies, he was cheery enough. Just never ask him where he lost those fingers.  
  
Then there was Bobby the Banker. He was, well, a banker. He just couldn't seem to stay out of the bottle when the weekend rolled around.  
  
Then Butch and his gang, who called themselves the Crazy Eights, because, they maintained, they were crazy, and there were eight of them. Dende, feeling sorry for his buddies, refrained from mentioning that there were really only six.  
  
The most colorful character of Dende's little group turned out to be Isabella. She, well, he, was a large man in his mid-thirties who had explained to Dende quite seriously that he just enjoyed dressing up as a woman. Dende could understand. Pina Coladas weren't the only things that were addictive.  
  
Taking in Isabella's red sequined number, and the assorted rags of the rest of the cell's occupants, Dende smirked and clapped his hands.  
  
"Whoa!" Butch dropped his Pina Colada and it hit the floor with a shattering crash, "Dude, what just happened?!"  
  
Dende dusted off his new leather jacket and straightened the numerous zippers. Sometime during the night he had passed beyond the point of "merely drunk," to a stage that transcended it as a mountain surpassed a hill, as the sun surpassed the moon in brightness. In this odd, nether stage, Dende found himself completely and totally uninhibited. He wasn't Kami anymore, he wasn't even Dende...he just WAS. And he, was a wild man...er....Namek.  
  
"That, my dear friend, is a leather jacket with all the trimmings," Dende nodded approvingly as his new friends exclaimed over their attire, and Isabella spun happily about in a tight leather mini-skirt, accentuating his muscular thighs nicely, "Today is a new day for you. Today, you have become something more than what you were. Today, you have become full blown members of Kami's Krew."  
  
Bobby the Banker's eyes brightened, "I...I always wanted to be a mobster...I had the name...I just never," he couldn't help a sniffle, "I just never thought it was actually attainable, you know?"  
  
Dende scowled and shook his head, "NO! We are NOT mobsters...we are..." Dende thought...what exactly were they? Oh yeah! "We're a biker gang! A GOOD biker gang, one that fights for Love and Justice," Dende had always been a little jealous of Gohan in his hero role. With a lazy wave of his hand, the wall to the cell disappeared to reveal ten shiny motorcycles revved up and awaiting their new masters.  
  
With a joyful cry, Jimmy Two Fingers leapt aboard his bike and patted it lovingly with his two fingered hand, "It's...it's just a dream come true, ya know?" he asked in a heavy Brooklyn accent.  
  
Dende nodded gently, careful not to sit on his tail as he leapt astride his own bike, "Yeah, I know. Alright guys, time to save the world from corruption and violence! Let's go!"  
  
Butch looked at the five former members of the Crazy Eights, now part of Kami's Krew and shrugged, "Whatever he says goes. I don't know about you, but I'm thinking of taking up religion!"  
  
With a raucous laugh, the bike gang zoomed after Dende, unknowingly headed straight towards Selsnack City, where Mirai Cell still stalked, although he was running a bit low on victims.  
  
_____________________  
  
Mirai Cell looked around the clothing littered street with disgust. What did a guy have to do to get a meal around here? Humans...so pathetic. One or two get sucked up the tail of a ten foot monster and the rest run screaming into the sunset.  
  
Sitting down on the warm pavement, Mirai Cell crossed his legs and put his chin in one hand, trying to think. What was his mission again? Oh yeah, world domination. But he was SOOOOOOO hungry! He just couldn't help it, damn it all to hell, why did he have to have Goku's genes!  
  
Looking up from his rumbling belly, Mirai Cell was distracted by a shiny red gleam arching through the air to land several streets away. Climbing to his feet, Mirai Cell started in the direction of the ship as quickly as possible. Ships usually meant people, and people meant food. And he was hungry...or at least he thought so....there was this constant odd rumbling in his stomach and he couldn't seem to get rid of it. It was disturbing. Chasing the thoughts from his mind, Mirai Cell continued on his way.  
  
______________________  
  
Mirai Gohan was lost. Everything was blackness. It was warm...but not in a good way. For some reason, he got the distinct inpression that he did NOT want to know where he was. Oh well. He'd bide his time, and some day soon, he'd make his move. He might be nuts, but he sure as hell wasn't stupid.  
  
______________________  
  
Mr. Satan sat quivering in his pod. *Aliens....aliens.....CELL....scary....* Even if he'd wanted to get out, he didn't think he could have. He was literally PETRIFIED with fear. Fortunately, the ship itself solved this problem for him, the hatch popping open and the seat tilting sideways to deposit the champion in a quivering heap on the sidewalk.  
  
As Mr. Satan watched in awe, the ship quickly closed up and sped away, leading the great Hercule to conclude that perhaps even jetcopters had a sense of self-preservation.  
  
Looking warily around, Hercule saw nothing. There were several scattered piles of clothing which...should have been significant, but he couldn't quite remember why--after all, he'd been much too busy with tours to have been watching the news during the time preceeding the Cell Games--but not much else. The street was deserted.  
  
"Ha!" Hercule climbed to his feet and smirked self-confidently, in a soft whisper he called, "Are you here Cell? Oop, guess not, false alarm, I'll be going then." Turning to flee, Mr. Satan ran smack dab into a giant green figure which stared down menacingly at him, the very picture of destruction, "AHH! Please don't hurt me Mr. Cell, Sir!" Hercule groveled, his face buried in the cold feet of the figure before him, "I'll even help you! I'll wash your back, I'll make your bed, I'll even cook you dinner..." Hercule paled as he realized just what Mirai Cell ate, "Or--Or-- I--WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DON'T KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The mighty warrior cowered, prepared for certain doom, but....it didn't come. Venturing a glance upward, Hercule's gaze was met with a smiling green ceramic dinosaur which wore a sign that read "DINOSAUR PETTING ZOO, ONLY 5 ZENI!" around his neck.  
  
Hercule snorted. "HA. I knew it wasn't Cell all along...I was just uh...I was...er..." Seeing that he had no audience, the champ gave up his protestations and sagged wearily. Hopelessly lost, Hercule started down the street, hoping to make his way out of Selsnack city, heading unknowingly into the arms of one very hungry 'little green monster'.  
  
________________________  
  
Gotenks...was cool. That's all that could be said about it. Goku watched, half fascinated, as the combination Saiyan strutted proudly from the golden light that had given him birth. It was a bit of a miracle, with Vegetock for a teacher, that he'd even succeeded in being born at all. And it had only taken half a dozen tries!  
  
Vegetock looked up from where he was engrossed in a conversation with a butterfly, and blinked in surprise as he saw Gotenks, "Well I say! I was just telling this fellow here that I didn't think butterflies could fly this high," the butterfly fluttered and twitched his antennae in confirmation.  
  
Gotenks looked at his grandfather, puzzled at exactly how this related to him. "Huh?" A shiver ran down the spines of the collected crowd. Bad enough to see those oddly familiar, yet totally new features but that voice...  
  
Krillin shuddered and buried his face in 18's abdomen. He just couldn't take anymore voices.  
  
Vegetock strolled towards Gotenks and patted the boy's hair inquisitively, making a broad circle while stooping to examine several points of interest while he made his circuit. Finally he came to a stop in front of his grandson and crouched thoughtfully in front of him.  
  
Gotenks eyed him oddly for a moment, then smirked, one eyebrow raising lazily as he posed, "Yes. You may stare. I know I'm wonderful."  
  
Goku eyed his half son warily and whispered to Mirai Bulma who had taken a break in her search for Mirai Trunks to watch the transformation, "Does that look oddly familiar to you?"  
  
Mirai Bulma blinked, "Well...Trunks does do a few underwear ads in the future..."  
  
Suddenly Vegetock smiled. "You're a very pretty butterfly, but...where are your wings?"  
  
Mr. Butterfly nodded in agreement from his perch on a nearby flower. Purple and black were the very best butterfly colors, and highly sought after in butterfly-dom.  
  
Gotenks' eyes widened in outrage. "I'll have you know I'm the most POWERFUL being in the universe! I am NOT a stupid butterfly!" at this point the Goten side of Gotenks' personality took over for a split second, "But butterflies are REALLY neat."  
  
Vegetock paused and scratched his head, "....well, I'm sorry to disagree old man, but I must say that I'M the most powerful being in the universe."  
  
Gotenks crossed his arms, an amused look gracing his features. "Very well. Would you care to prove that?"  
  
Vegetock's eyes brightened merrily and he slapped his hands together, bouncing excitedly to his feet, "Right-o then! It's settled."  
  
Gotenks' eyes narrowed and he crouched a little lower, "Yes."  
  
Vegetock continued as if the boy had not spoken, "We shall have a singing contest, to prove once and for all, that I, Vegetock am the Mightiest Creature in All the Universe!"  
  
Gotenks hesitated for a moment, trying to figure the logic of this statement, but once again the Goten side took over, tempered with Trunks' arrogance, "Fine. 'Cause I'm the best at EVERYTHING. Just wait until you hear," Gotenks' voice lowered mysteriously, "The Super Duper Gotenks Song of Terror and Destruction!"  
  
Krillin paled, "That sounds bad."  
  
18 raised an eyebrow, "Well, they're certainly creative."  
  
Vegetock pondered, one hand resting in the other, "All right then. And I...." pausing dramatically, Vegetock pulled himself to his full height, "And I shall sing, Ode upon a Dragonball."  
  
Goku scratched his head, "I don't think I've ever heard that one..."  
  
Gohan snorted, "That's because he just made it up."  
  
As Gotenks and Vegetock faced off, Gohan looked on with mixed feelings until he heard a voice calling his name. Looking over, he saw Bulma and Chi Chi gathered around Videl, while the young girl sat sweating in a chair. It looked vaguely reminiscent of a police interrogation, and even with all her work for the police department, Gohan didn't think he'd ever seen a more trapped expression on Videl's face.  
  
Gohan approached cautiously, ignoring the way that Videl's body twitched this way and that, the way the sweat that had collected had drenched the neckline of her t-shirt, causing it to stick to her body...WHOA! Calm down Gohan.  
  
Chi Chi smirked at the expression on her son's face. She was a woman. She knew what that look meant. HER LITTLE BOY WAS ALL GROWN UP! Jumping to her feet, Chi Chi grabbed Gohan in a fierce hug, "Don't be ashamed, son! Your father used to look at me that way all the time.  
  
Bulma nodded reassuringly, oblivious to the growing look of horror on Gohan's face, "Yeah Gohan, it's perfectly natural that you'd want to mate with Videl."  
  
"What?!" Videl yelped, hands leaping to her throat in embarassment, unsure who she wanted to kill more, Gohan or herself.  
  
Bulma waved away the embarassment, "Aww, come on Videl! Don't tell me you haven't seen him looking! Everytime you walk by little hearts form in his eyes and his body says, 'WOO BABY!'  
  
As Gohan looked around for a good spot to die of mortification, he was interrupted from his search for a death bed by a hideous wailing.  
  
"O DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGONBALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thou art DIVINE....." Oh DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGONBALL!!!!!! I wish you were MINE...... So orange and so sparkly, positively SUBLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME..... SO dotted with stars that it's practically a CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!!!! Oh DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGONBALL, I wish you were mine......"  
  
Vegetock brushed off his spotless shirt and turned to the audience and bowed, mistaking the tears in their eyes for tears of pleasure.  
  
Goku rocked back and forth, shuddering, "My ears...my ears!"  
  
"YOUR ears," Piccolo whispered back, regenerating his own with a pop, "I had to pull mine OFF to escape that.....that.....song."  
  
Goku gazed wistfully at Piccolo's discarded ears and then regarded his new ones, " I wish I could do that."  
  
Next to Vegetock, Gotenks took in the reaction. *How am I going to beat that? They're...they're CRYING. Man, I can't believe it, I thought it was really really BAD, but they loved it! How am I going to compete?!*  
  
Taking a deep breath, Gotenks nodded firmly. Whatever happened, he was going to give it his all. After all, he knew he was magnificent and aside from that tiny lapse in self confidence he'd just experienced, he'd always been convinced of his own perfection. For the whole five minutes of his life, he'd always known that he was flawless. Clearing his throat, Gotenks began to sing.  
  
Goku winced as his son began wailing. As it rose in pitch he again slapped his hands over his ears, watching in surprise as his son flashed golden, and then with another huge flash acended to Super Saiyan 2. Piccolo reached his limit shortly after the second transformation and with an aggrieved sigh, reached up and tore his ears off once again. Gotenks' voice continued to ascend higher and higher, a grating pitch that could (and did) shatter windows hundreds of miles away gnawing at the bones of the Z-Senshi, until, with one last mighty scream, Gotenks' hair grew long and the bone shattering voice shrieked out, "Super Duper Gotenks Song of Terror and DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
On the final note, something shattered. Even Gotenks was surprised, rolling back head over heals, losing Super Saiyan 3 and splitting into two small tumbling forms, as a hole in mid-air opened up on the lookout. Staring from the hole in surprise, were Vegeta and Mirai Trunks, the former looking a bit surprised, while the latter, looking desperately relieved, all but ran towards the whole, jumping out to join the others.  
  
"Thank Kami," Mirai Trunks gasped, oblivious to the fact that Kami now ran a biker gang in downtown Selsnack City, "I haven't had a second to rest since we stepped in that hell hole! Is that all he does, TRAIN?!"  
  
Vegeta stepped calmly out of the hole as it began to close and crossed his arms, "You were weak, brat. You needed training. Besides, in three short months you ascended to Super Saiyan 2. Do you think you could have done that anywhere else, with any ONE else? And," Vegeta pointed out logically, blissfully ignorant to Mirai Bulma's presence as she stood behind Goku, waiting for the full explanation, "You escaped your insane mother's clutches. She's probably gone by now."  
  
"INSANE?!" Two voices squealed the word simultaneously across the lookout. As Mirai Bulma stepped out from behind Goku, Bulma stepped up to join her, and together they advanced, an implacable force, towards their errant husband and son.  
  
Chibi Trunks sat wide eyed next to Gohan, his time as Gotenks forgotten, and shook his head. Leaning over, he whispered somberly to his friend, "They are SO dead."  
  
____________________  
  
In Otherworld, the Supreme Kai lay shuddering in a pile of discarded popcorn. And things had been going so well! Looking at the sadly smoking remains of his surround sound system, the Supreme Kai concluded that maybe he should have hit the mute button before the singing contest had begun. Wincing, he pulled himself up and began scooping popcorn back into the bowl. Oh well, he'd just have to watch the show in subtitles. He hated the dubs anyway.  
  
***Sorry I was late updating, just...eh, no excuse. Papers, tests, reading...might as well get used to it! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, see you next week!*** 


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